Breastfeeding and visitors in the first few days?

Hi there,

We had a baby shower, so we were all set in one go! ;-)

I’m exactly at 23 weeks of breastfeeding today, and I’d love to share this with you: the first 7 weeks are incredibly tough. Don’t underestimate it! There will be days when your baby wants to feed every hour (cluster feeding). The chance that your baby already knows the right way to latch on is small. It takes a lot of patience and perseverance. Breastfeeding is one of the most beautiful things there is! Take your rest, because that’s important for your milk supply. Let it all come to you; you only really know how you feel when the moment arrives. If you don’t want visitors on a certain day, they should respect that. I don’t know how far along you are in your pregnancy, but I’d recommend reading up as much as possible on breastfeeding. Stefan Kleintjes wrote the book “Borstvoeding,” which I highly recommend. The better prepared you are, the fewer doubts you’ll have later on.

Enjoy it!

I think your friend is right about the visiting hours. The first weeks with a baby are incredibly exhausting; you don't really know what you're doing yet, you have broken nights, crying spells, and breastfeeding needs to get going. So I'd definitely choose to have the visit when the maternity nurse is still there and keep the evenings free so you can have some time together as a new little family without having people over constantly.

As for visiting and breastfeeding, I don't think that's quite right; there's no reason not to receive visitors when you're trying to start breastfeeding. But... I can imagine you don't feel like having onlookers around when you're trying to get the hang of breastfeeding or sitting on the couch with severe engorgement. On the other hand, you can always go upstairs to feed when there are visitors downstairs.

You really do need some time to recover from childbirth. And you're not called a "puerperal woman" for nothing for those 6 weeks!

Really take the time to get used to your baby, to get to know them, to start understanding what they mean when they cry! And whether you breastfeed or not, you often don't get much sleep at night during the first few weeks.

My tip is to decide nothing right now, but to be honest with yourself later on whether you feel like having visitors or not. And if you do, don't make it too crazy; ask them to come for an hour, and if they don't leave after that, kindly ask them to go.

I'd actually use the confinement week to rest as much as possible and, with the help of the midwife, get to know your baby. Visitors can come later.

Many women act really tough with their first baby, welcome huge crowds of visitors because they're naturally proud, but then end up completely exhausted after a few weeks and decide to do things differently if they have another child!

And about that advice from the colleague: on day 4 you often have postpartum blues and engorged breasts, so is that really the best day for it?

I should be able to do it again. I’d also set fixed hours because with me it was always in the evening and I was always suffocating. I also breastfeed and indeed the fact that it was busy affected milk production. With me it was one leaves and the other arrives, really exhausting and especially in the hospital you really don't sleep properly and once you're home you barely get out of your folds because by the time you've caught up on that sleep it takes a while you know. Now I also have a high blood pressure of 16/11 and that also plays with your partner you know.

Many greetings and good luck later

Well, I found it really tough with the first one too... I thought I'd just do it for a bit, but I ended up backing out.
Every time visitors came—whether expected or not—I wanted to be there, and at some point they’d stay over in the evening, and then you just have to kick them out.
I’ve now said that for the second one, we’ll either put times in the invitation or just discuss it beforehand.
You really shouldn’t underestimate it... it’s quite tough at the beginning, especially if you’ve had a difficult birth like I did!

Breastfeeding takes quite an investment at the beginning. Time and energy. Plus, you're still recovering from giving birth. I'd suggest only receiving visitors in small amounts during the first week, and only when your partner is also home. If you want to withdraw for a bit to feed or rest, that's totally fine. Also, I want to remind you that in the beginning, you should listen to your body and clearly set your boundaries. Your visitor will really understand this. Good luck with the little one.

I just gave birth to my second baby 3.5 weeks ago, and I'm glad we didn't leave the house with the cards until a week later... first, enjoy the time with our little family

I have to say we were in the middle of moving and the little one was born 3 weeks early! !