Miscarriage

Hey mechje,

I was also in the forum in August and September, so I still read your messages... I already read the news! How terrible, girl, especially when you don’t expect it and your body doesn’t give any signs! I’ve never experienced anything like this, but I hope the baby comes naturally; it seems better to me than a curettage. It’s just so awful, and I can’t really say much more except wishing you lots of strength! Hopefully, you have support from your partner... I hope you’ll be pregnant again soon and can leave the grief behind!

Love, Lynn

Hi there,

I went through this last year in December. I already knew something wasn't right. On Saturday, Dec 22, I started having some light bleeding. I also had a cold and thought it was just a burst blood vessel from coughing. But by Sunday, the bleeding got heavier. I was 9 weeks pregnant and was supposed to have my first ultrasound on Dec 27. Since I was bleeding, my doctor understood that I wanted some certainty before Christmas, so I got the ultrasound on Dec 24. Unfortunately, they didn't see a heartbeat either. The doctor said she preferred not to suggest a D&C due to the risk of potential damage. I gave myself some time to let my body handle it. On Christmas Day, I passed some tissue, and on the second day, I had another ultrasound—everything wasn't gone yet. With some medication, the rest was passed on Dec 27. Then I had another scan, and everything was clear.

Sorry for the long story. Maybe it makes your decision easier. I wish you lots of strength. It takes time, but it will find its place.

Lots of love

Hi Mechje,

How are you doing now? Are you starting to figure out which name you want to choose?

Strength and hugs

Hi Mechje, sending you a huge hug from here too!!! I think it's just awful for you! Hopefully, you find support in each other and get some good news soon when you're ready.

Big hug!

Hi Mechje,
That's absolutely terrible for you, girl!
Maybe one comfort: it's never nice to hear that your baby's heart has stopped beating, but it's still better in the early stages of pregnancy than at the end. I understood that you were 10 weeks pregnant... I got that news at 36 weeks of pregnancy, that his heart had stopped beating and no one saw it coming. Was almost at the end of the pregnancy. If they had found out earlier, he would have just been alive. I also had no symptoms, nothing and didn't notice anything, even got normal hard contractions. Had to go to the hospital afterwards for the birth of my deceased baby, because he was already a nicely grown baby. After that, things went wrong with me too and I almost died, lost over four and a half liters of blood. They managed to save me and my uterus in the OR. Now 2 years later I'm pregnant again and this time with twins too, just like it was a mistake and then I get 2 right away. So I just want to say hang in there and keep hope and talk a lot with your partner, girl, and you'll get through it. Lots of strength and stay tough, girl.
Lots of love, Ster

hey, I went through this 3 weeks ago too!! Lost a little bit of blood and went straight to the ER!! They also thought it was a burst blood vessel, but when she checked, she said it had already stopped at 8 weeks, and I was 11 weeks then. I had to wait 4 days and then had a D&C. I'm glad it didn't happen naturally; otherwise, seeing all that blood and clumps would have been even more painful!! And now we're starting from scratch again!! It's not fun, but we have to get through it!!

Strength...

Hey, I’ve also had a miscarriage, but it was completely unexpected... On May 1st I started bleeding and on May 8th I had my first ultrasound appointment. I did have the symptoms, but everyone told me it was normal to have some abdominal pain during pregnancy.... It was a horrible moment. My preference would be to have a D&C done because the actual process of the baby coming out is really painful. You experience it, but it really breaks you.... I actually collapsed from the pain... It’s really not nice to go through, and not nice afterwards either. I bled heavily all night. And a lot. The next day I immediately had a D&C because I was losing too much blood... I had to stay in the clinic for 4 days because I needed a blood transfusion... It was really intense.... So if I can give you a tip, I would definitely choose a D&C... It’s hard too, but I think it’s easier to get over it.

Best, Stefanie

Cindy, that's so heavy that you had to go through that. I completely understand that you're glad it didn't happen naturally; that sounds absolutely terrible. KleineDeine, that uncertainty from the doctor is painful. If you're in doubt, definitely give your GP or midwife a call for a second opinion. Find comfort with someone who understands.