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Partner can't do anything right anymore
Hulpeloze manGuest ·
Hi everyone,
Just to briefly outline my situation:
My girlfriend is now about 4 months pregnant and everything was fine for the first 2 months.
The baby is doing everything as it should and papa & mama were super proud.
After 3 months, my girlfriend suddenly starts bleeding.. both mom and especially dad are in a panic. From here on, things actually start to go downhill... according to my girlfriend, I'm being overprotective. But no worries, as a good expectant father, I promise to work on this.
Meanwhile, we are 3.5 months into the pregnancy and I notice that my girlfriend can't stand me at all anymore, both physically (kissing, hugging) and mentally (talking, being near her).
I decide to ask her if everything is still okay between us, to which she replies "I don't know".
In my head, all sorts of alarm bells start ringing because a man thinks that if you say "I don't know" to that question, it's basically the same as saying no. I decide to let it sink in for a day but notice that she's increasingly distancing herself from me. In panic (and here I'm making a mistake), I ask: "I'm worried, is there someone else?"
From here on, it all goes completely wrong! We are now 4 months along and we've barely spoken to each other in the past 2 weeks.. There was only 1 moment where I got a single kiss and even that didn't feel like it used to.
Meanwhile, there have already been harsh words from her side that I always try to understand and especially not to argue with.
Example A) If the baby is born, I'll stay with you for another 2 months and then I'm gone. Although I'd rather have the heart stop beating now so I can leave immediately.
Example B) You do nothing to me anymore, I've become a stone to you, you can't hurt me anymore.
Example C) I'll stay with you but only for the family because I'm disgusted by you, I'm sick of you and talking to you makes me furious, I hate you.
Now I've read a lot here on the forum about hormones and pregnancy depression.. but I still find the above examples quite 'extreme'. I also notice that her mood changes very quickly (see the difference between Ex A & Ex C) but it always remains negative.
Does anyone have an idea if this is pregnancy depression or is there something else going on?
It would be nice if you could help me further.
Because I myself am Tired, Helpless & Broken by this situation.
Thanks in advance!
Just to briefly outline my situation:
My girlfriend is now about 4 months pregnant and everything was fine for the first 2 months.
The baby is doing everything as it should and papa & mama were super proud.
After 3 months, my girlfriend suddenly starts bleeding.. both mom and especially dad are in a panic. From here on, things actually start to go downhill... according to my girlfriend, I'm being overprotective. But no worries, as a good expectant father, I promise to work on this.
Meanwhile, we are 3.5 months into the pregnancy and I notice that my girlfriend can't stand me at all anymore, both physically (kissing, hugging) and mentally (talking, being near her).
I decide to ask her if everything is still okay between us, to which she replies "I don't know".
In my head, all sorts of alarm bells start ringing because a man thinks that if you say "I don't know" to that question, it's basically the same as saying no. I decide to let it sink in for a day but notice that she's increasingly distancing herself from me. In panic (and here I'm making a mistake), I ask: "I'm worried, is there someone else?"
From here on, it all goes completely wrong! We are now 4 months along and we've barely spoken to each other in the past 2 weeks.. There was only 1 moment where I got a single kiss and even that didn't feel like it used to.
Meanwhile, there have already been harsh words from her side that I always try to understand and especially not to argue with.
Example A) If the baby is born, I'll stay with you for another 2 months and then I'm gone. Although I'd rather have the heart stop beating now so I can leave immediately.
Example B) You do nothing to me anymore, I've become a stone to you, you can't hurt me anymore.
Example C) I'll stay with you but only for the family because I'm disgusted by you, I'm sick of you and talking to you makes me furious, I hate you.
Now I've read a lot here on the forum about hormones and pregnancy depression.. but I still find the above examples quite 'extreme'. I also notice that her mood changes very quickly (see the difference between Ex A & Ex C) but it always remains negative.
Does anyone have an idea if this is pregnancy depression or is there something else going on?
It would be nice if you could help me further.
Because I myself am Tired, Helpless & Broken by this situation.
Thanks in advance!
Replies
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GEMMA #2
Hey, I don't think it's about hormones. I'm 7 months pregnant now and have never felt this way before. I think there's something going on in her head and she doesn't want to talk to you. I'd still try to have a calm talk with her and ask what she exactly wants. Does she want to leave you? You still have quite a lot of rights to see the baby. She doesn't realize how important family is because she has a chance to have you there for her, and she doesn't see that. Sometimes men leave their pregnant wives or girlfriends. If she didn't want to stay with you, why get pregnant? Was everything okay before? I understand how hard it is for you right now because there's a baby between you now, and that makes your situation very difficult. But try to talk to her. Maybe surprise her with a home-cooked dinner and a nice warm bath (37°C) hihi. And tell her how much you mean to her and to the baby too. Hope she opens her eyes and sees who is there for her. Pray that everything goes well between you, because raising a baby alone is hard. Good luck. -
GEMMA #3
Staying put just for family isn't a solution either because you'll feel bad anyway, and something could happen one day where a stranger comes in. I don't wish that on anyone either. I know I said that family is important, but staying put just because they expect a child from you and because they're no longer happy isn't a solution for me. Now, honestly, I had a tough period a few years ago with my husband; we were on the verge of splitting up, but he moved back in with his parents. We already had two kids together, but we both realized that this wasn't a solution and we couldn't leave each other. Luckily, that's in the past now; we've been married for 3 years, expecting our 4th child, and we're overjoyed. Unfortunately, during that corona time, we tried to stay strong, which I noticed among friends or family—people split up over the smallest things and don't want to understand each other, only realizing later that it was a mistake.
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