Postpartum period
Hospital visit during Corona
Lily35
Hi,
I'm 35 and have two daughters, one 3 and one 4. In the summer, we'll be adding a little brother.
My first daughter was a very calm and easy baby. My youngest was the complete opposite: a crying baby, and I didn't really get to enjoy that time. I don't have great memories of it. From the start, she cried a lot and barely wanted to drink, so she was admitted to the hospital for the first time a week after her birth... So I really hope this time goes more smoothly.
When we were home with our little family for the first time with my youngest, I was under so much stress because my in-laws were coming to visit just an hour and a half later. They'd booked a hotel since they live 2 hours away. So they ended up coming over two days in a row. We don't usually see them that often. I still remember how I was frantically unpacking my suitcase while the cleaner was cleaning, I was putting away laundry, paying attention to my daughters, my husband went to get bread... and I'd barely slept for days. When they visited, my husband and I still had to set the table, and while everyone was eating, I was sitting in the armchair with a baby who wouldn't drink... We really want to avoid this at all costs! So I was wondering what others do to prevent this.
First of all, the relationship with my in-laws isn't perfect. I'm polite and friendly, and I make sure they're well received. But they're the opposite of my own parents. I come from a loving, warm home, and my parents are very empathetic...
My husband and I were thinking of sending an SMS to our close family after the birth to share the happy news. And in that message, also mention that we want the first few days to rest and enjoy our little family. Something like: 'Mama and baby y are doing well, but are tired. We'd like to spend the next days, in the hospital and then at home, quietly enjoying our family.' After that, we'd love a short visit! Just keep in mind the 1.5-meter distance. For us, for you, for all of us.
Of course, the in-laws might still make a fuss about not being allowed to hold the baby right away because of Corona...
Just let off some steam ????. Looking forward to some tips...
Greetings,
Lily
I'm 35 and have two daughters, one 3 and one 4. In the summer, we'll be adding a little brother.
My first daughter was a very calm and easy baby. My youngest was the complete opposite: a crying baby, and I didn't really get to enjoy that time. I don't have great memories of it. From the start, she cried a lot and barely wanted to drink, so she was admitted to the hospital for the first time a week after her birth... So I really hope this time goes more smoothly.
When we were home with our little family for the first time with my youngest, I was under so much stress because my in-laws were coming to visit just an hour and a half later. They'd booked a hotel since they live 2 hours away. So they ended up coming over two days in a row. We don't usually see them that often. I still remember how I was frantically unpacking my suitcase while the cleaner was cleaning, I was putting away laundry, paying attention to my daughters, my husband went to get bread... and I'd barely slept for days. When they visited, my husband and I still had to set the table, and while everyone was eating, I was sitting in the armchair with a baby who wouldn't drink... We really want to avoid this at all costs! So I was wondering what others do to prevent this.
First of all, the relationship with my in-laws isn't perfect. I'm polite and friendly, and I make sure they're well received. But they're the opposite of my own parents. I come from a loving, warm home, and my parents are very empathetic...
My husband and I were thinking of sending an SMS to our close family after the birth to share the happy news. And in that message, also mention that we want the first few days to rest and enjoy our little family. Something like: 'Mama and baby y are doing well, but are tired. We'd like to spend the next days, in the hospital and then at home, quietly enjoying our family.' After that, we'd love a short visit! Just keep in mind the 1.5-meter distance. For us, for you, for all of us.
Of course, the in-laws might still make a fuss about not being allowed to hold the baby right away because of Corona...
Just let off some steam ????. Looking forward to some tips...
Greetings,
Lily
Replies
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Anonymous Guest #2
I gave birth myself 6 weeks ago and I called it the “advantage” of corona.. during the maternity leave period, no visitors are allowed due to the maternity care. So my problem was solved. -
Veraaa #3
Ohhhh.... especially do it like that!!
I was induced the first time and didn't tell anyone when. That way we didn't have to text the hospital either, didn't have to call right away. We enjoyed waiting a bit.
That'll be different now, though, because I have to give my daughter a sleeping spot. But... I'll definitely tell parents and grandparents beforehand that the maternity leave week will be a very quiet week. With maternity care, no visitors. I'm due in October.
I had a lot of trouble with my hormones, emotions... in the first months. I just need to protect myself and my family. I really don't want maternity visits like last time.
So... from my side, all praise for how you want to handle it. And... I'm shouting it out loud now that I'm going to do it that way, but knowing myself... I'll have to put in a lot of effort to say no during that period. I'm much more yielding than I'd like to be then.
You're handling it nicely. Good luck
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Anonymous Guest #4
I know it. The first week was fine because the maternity care nurses said no due to corona. I have two older kids, 6 and 4. I have a cousin I'm close with who let the kids sleep over. I was supposed to get an induction that evening but it happened naturally. We didn't tell anyone it was going to happen. Only after the baby was born. I also don't have a great relationship with my mother-in-law. My husband thought he was helping by having his mom come every other day to help 2 weeks after birth. I just got panic attacks from it even though I normally take her with a grain of salt. He thought your mom helps you too so she lives and works 80 km away. She's also a very negative person, for every solution she has 100 problems. My youngest has an evening crying spell, the others didn't. Instead of walking with him since he needs it or taking over with the other two. Like my own mom does... I got comments like your milk isn't good he's not getting enough blah blah. Normally I'd think whatever but with the hormones you're so messed up right now I got upset. I breastfed the other two for 2 years so insecurity won't get to me but it is irritating at most! Eventually I had an outburst with my husband and now he gets that I don't have the energy for it right now. Anyway, visiting because what you say you're full of hormones and emotions -
Lily35 started this #5
I found the following online: ‘Besides the immediate family, no visitors are allowed during the first week after birth and as long as maternity care is provided.’ Is that only the case in the Netherlands? I read nothing about this in Belgium. My maternity care organization also didn’t mention anything about it… It would be handy to be able to forward such a text in advance to the in-laws.
I’m also hoping that my husband will stand his ground with his parents and won’t be persuaded otherwise….
We’d also wait a bit with sending out the birth announcements. But it’s hard to only inform your parents a week later, right? They’d surely notice that something’s going on Haha. My parents would watch our kids if I’m giving birth, so they’ll know anyway. But they’re not difficult and help where they can. They’d also understand if they can’t hold the baby right away. And my husband thinks we can’t treat his parents differently by not informing them about the birth when my parents already know. I understand that too. -
Shanna Guest #6
That probably depends on the maternity care agency, or maybe the easing of restrictions is having an effect. With us, you're allowed to have two people from outside the family during the maternity care visits.
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