Forum Babbles

Contraception?

17 replies

ShannaGuest ·
Hi!

In about a month and a half, I’m due to give birth to our second child. I was recently talking with a friend about contraception because I don’t feel our family is complete with just two kids yet. We still need to discuss it, and we also want some time to relax and enjoy having two little ones. But what do you all do for contraception in the meantime?

I used to be on the pill. But looking back at my experiences after starting it, I don’t want to go back to that. The hormones made me feel different from who I am. I’m much happier and more stable now. Maybe that’s also due to my age and situation, but for me, it feels like the pill plays a role. I can feel it physically too; I have much more desire now and get wet more easily than when I was on the pill. All in all, I don’t want to go back to that.

And condoms; we really enjoy sex without them much more. Especially my husband notices the difference, but I also don’t find condoms very romantic. And wearing a condom means he finishes quicker. Now that might sound like a dream to some, but it wasn’t always a problem without one. With a condom, I sometimes feel like he should just finish at a good moment. But maybe I’m imagining that too much.

Then there’s the IUD, the cup, etc. I have no experience with those. And of course, there’s the “go straight out of the church” method. Only, I’m not sure if we have that kind of discipline

Long story short, my question is: what do you all think about this, and what choices do you make?

Replies

  1. Anonymous Guest #2

    My advice is to give birth first, let your cycle get back to normal, and then see what happens.
    I also think condoms are crap. Still, we used them for a while after the birth of our third. After a little search, we found a nice brand and model that worked best for both of us.

    Have a talk with your husband about your desire for children. That will also make it easier to make a choice. See how your sex life is after the baby arrives. Take your time.

  2. Shanna started this #3

    Thank you, anonymous! Are there other girls who can explain their choice?

  3. Ri Guest #4

    I'm actually in a similar situation. Even my husband says you're different without the pill, not so grumpy and also just in the mood for sex. I'm now 37 weeks pregnant with my third and think this might be the last one. I'm considering an IUD. I want as few hormones as possible in my body. But no idea how that works.

    Before singing hymns in church... what should I say. That's how I am now, pregnant with my third

  4. Veraaa #5

    Well, everyone's experiences are different and very personal, of course! I can't wait to start taking the pill again! My hormones are such a pain without it. I'm just more unstable, with mood swings, and really not the most pleasant person to be around. We're both looking forward to when I've given birth and done breastfeeding, and then hup... back on the pill!

    If you're not ready for a permanent procedure yet, I'd suggest making an appointment with your GP. They can really help you explore the options and figure out what suits you best. Maybe it's a good idea to schedule a consultation yourself first. Knowing the options and what they involve might make it easier for you both to decide together later on.

    Wishing you a smooth delivery!

  5. Shanna Guest #6

    Thanks Vera! What a difference that you want to start the pill again. Don't you notice that it makes you less interested in sex? And drier? I really find that such a difference!

    Ri, so you sang in church after all! It's really tough for a man, I realize! Maybe that cup?

  6. Liesbeth #7

    Hi there,
    After our four kids, our family is complete. After giving birth to the twins, my husband had himself sterilized. He suggested it himself because I had been on the pill for years, had pregnancies, hormones...

    He hasn't had much trouble with it himself. He was a bit sensitive after the surgery, but sex is still just as good, no difference from before.

  7. Veraaa #8

    Hey Shanna,
    I do notice a difference... namely that I'm quite wet without the pill and just let it drip out sorry for all this info, haha. And without the pill it's wet enough.
    I took the pill from around my 15th year or so... until my 35th when we had the desire for kids. My body and I just don't know any different. I feel like I'm balanced with the pill and not without it. But I completely understand that it can also be the other way around.
    You hear a lot of different stories about contraception... What one person likes, another doesn't. We're all women and yet so different!

  8. Shanna started this #9

    So relatable, Vera! What you're saying is spot on; it'll be different for every woman. I do notice that I was more emotionally "stable" with the pill. But besides dry/wet I also find there's a big difference in libido, and my husband doesn't want to lose that!

    Good suggestion to talk to the GP. I just find it pretty hard to make an appointment with her these days because they're so overwhelmed with Corona. And by the time I'm fertile again after giving birth, a few months will have passed anyway.

    Liesbeth, that's also a nice solution! Best of both worlds, of course. Did you also have a lot of trouble with the pill?

    Does anyone happen to use one of those cups?

  9. Veraaa #10

    I can also schedule a phone consultation with our GP. That takes a bit less time, and they can still give you a little guidance on your options. If the GP is really swamped and doesn't have time for it, they'll let you know. Just call and ask... that should still be possible these days.
    Good luck!

  10. Liesbeth #11

    @shanna: no, actually didn't have any issues. Only very early on when I picked him up

  11. Shanna started this #12

    And what did you notice, Elisabeth?

  12. Shanna started this #13

    Elisabeth has to be Liesbeth!

    Vera, great tip, I'll call next week!

  13. Veraaa #14

    That's great, Shanna! I'm curious to see what solution you'll come up with!

  14. Lianne Guest #15

    We now have two kids and are wondering if we're done. So we were also debating whether to go back on the pill or not. I really relate to most of the comments here. So we decided to take the risk and, well, stepped out of the church choir. Are there other girls who have done this for a long time without getting pregnant?

  15. lm #16

    I’ve had a lot of issues with the pill in terms of libido and mood (it was much flatter). I gave birth to a baby boy 7 weeks ago. Now, when my period comes back, I’m going to start the pill again, but my husband is getting sterilized next week. He’s wanted this for a long time, but I felt we weren’t done after having our daughter. I stopped taking the pill because I wanted to see what the difference was, and that’s how I got pregnant with our son (a bit silly, but we both chose not to take the morning-after pill). Now we’re truly complete, and I’m okay with him having the procedure done. But it takes a while for it to take effect. After our daughter, I had the Kyleena IUD, but it was too light on hormones, and I kept having bleeding. For now, the pill is fine until the procedure kicks in, which takes a few months.

  16. Shanna started this #17

    Yeah, we feel the same way about that. We want to know for sure if it's really okay like this. That's why I don't want to start the pill right away. But maybe what Lianne suggests is to try not getting pregnant for a while without using contraception...

  17. Shanna started this #18

    Are there any girls here who have experience with a cup like that?

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