Baby wish
How do I tell her?
EliseGuest ·
Hi,
I'm a 36-year-old woman and I already have a 5-year-old daughter. When we first tried for a second baby, it didn't work out. My husband's sperm turned out to be of very poor quality. We considered starting IVF but ultimately decided against it. The main reason is that I've been watching my best friend go from one disappointment to another for the past four years. Failed embryo transfers, miscarriages, procedures... She just can't get pregnant, and it's become incredibly hard for her.
This weekend, I discovered that, against all odds, I've spontaneously become pregnant. I'm very happy about it, of course, but what I'm mainly struggling with is when and how to tell her? Should I tell her before or after our appointment with the gynecologist (March 22)? I really don't know how to approach this. I don't want to lose my best friend.
Best, Elise
I'm a 36-year-old woman and I already have a 5-year-old daughter. When we first tried for a second baby, it didn't work out. My husband's sperm turned out to be of very poor quality. We considered starting IVF but ultimately decided against it. The main reason is that I've been watching my best friend go from one disappointment to another for the past four years. Failed embryo transfers, miscarriages, procedures... She just can't get pregnant, and it's become incredibly hard for her.
This weekend, I discovered that, against all odds, I've spontaneously become pregnant. I'm very happy about it, of course, but what I'm mainly struggling with is when and how to tell her? Should I tell her before or after our appointment with the gynecologist (March 22)? I really don't know how to approach this. I don't want to lose my best friend.
Best, Elise
Replies
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Ano Guest #2
Just tell her as soon as possible! If she's truly your best friend, she'll be happy for you
I was in a tough situation and had just been told that for my own health, I should probably never get pregnant again and should look into surrogacy/adoption, when my friend accidentally turned out to be pregnant! She immediately sent me a photo of her positive test in full panic (because her husband absolutely did not want a third child) and she needed my support. I never had a moment where I didn't wish it for her or anything like that, and was just genuinely happy for her (since she really wanted 3 kids)
In the end, against all expectations, I also tested positive naturally 3 weeks later, and we are now 3 weeks apart in our pregnancies hers for her third, mine for my first. -
Anonymous Guest #3
Tell her as soon as possible. I went through the same process myself, and I really wouldn't appreciate it if my best friend hid it from me for even a month.
She'll probably feel some pain, but she'll also be very happy for you both. Congratulations! -
Rien Guest #4
After trying to get pregnant for 3 years, my best friend got pregnant a month after stopping the pill. She told me two days after the test. Although I felt completely defeated, I was really glad she told me right away. I was happy for her, but also painfully jealous, which made me angry at myself. It’s not easy for every woman to just feel happy after years of disappointment. My friend understood my pain, and from month 6 onwards, I’ve been able to fully share in her joy. She’s now pregnant for the second time, and although I’m still jealous, the pain is much less, and there’s more room for happiness. My advice: let your friend know, and give space for her pain. You’ll get through this together too.
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