Doubtful moms

Being a mom...

People say a lot about being a mom. It’s beautiful, meaningful, hard, difficult, wonderful, exhausting, fulfilling...

All those things are true. I’ve been a ‘mom’ for 14 months now, soon double that.
Without a doubt, it’s the most beautiful role I’ve ever been given, an enormous blessing that I can’t possibly be grateful enough for. And precisely that’s what makes it so difficult sometimes. Because do I deserve this? Am I a ‘good’ mom, whatever that may mean?

You have that fear before you give birth too, and people often say that ‘once it’s time, you’ll just feel it’. From the moment that little baby is in your arms, everything feels right and you know what to do... uh... no!

As a mom, you doubt EVERYTHING. Is my baby drinking enough? Is he not too warm, or maybe too cold? Is this too much baby food? Should I talk to my child more? Does my baby get enough fresh air, and am I present enough?

But what people really mean when they want to reassure you before you give birth is this: it doesn’t matter. And it’ll be fine. Really. That doubt, it’s part of it. It shows that you’re doing your best. That you want the best for your child and will fight for it.

And sometimes you have those little moments of happiness. Like when I was lying on the sofa to rest, and my daughter suddenly crawled over to me and stroked my cheek with her little hand. Or when you walk into the room and your child sees you and starts to beam.
Or when my own mom, my strong, lovely, wonderful, one-of-a-kind mom, who in my eyes truly deserves the Oscar for Best Mom, puts her hand on my shoulder and suddenly says what a good mom I am... those are the moments when you feel that it’s all worth it and how beautiful it can all be.

To all the moms who are doubting again right now, wondering if they’re doing it right, and carrying around unnecessary guilt: you’re a fantastic mom! You rock ????

(By: a mom who wrote this at 12 AM because she couldn’t sleep and was looking for a distraction after an hour of Googling whether her little princess should already be saying words or not)