Baby wish
Acceptance
Curly
Hi everyone,
Nice to meet you. I’m Sannie, 28 years old, and I work as a high school teacher. I just signed up because I really want to share my story and I’d love to connect with others in the same boat. My story is a bit long, but I’ll try to keep it concise.
I’ve had a strong desire for children since I was around 20. My partner at the time wasn’t quite ready for it, so we waited another three years before trying. In early 2016, I stopped taking the pill, which already brought some difficulties: I didn’t get my period for half a year, and the next one took another five months to show up. The GP initially blamed it on coming off the pill, but when I’d only had two periods after a year, she referred me to the hospital. After some tests, I was diagnosed with PCOS, and we were told that conceiving naturally probably wouldn’t work. The gynecologist said we should take our time to think about what we wanted and could start with ovulation induction meds whenever we were ready. Once I was in the car on the way home, I was already buzzing with excitement because I really wanted to go all out. Unfortunately, my ex didn’t see it that way and didn’t want to go through a medical process. He insisted it had to happen naturally, or not at all. He also thought we should just “have sex more often, since it’s not him.” This hurt me so much that it marked the beginning of the end for our relationship. We broke up a year and a half later.
Half a year later, I met my current partner. It felt right immediately, and luckily, I also got along well with his two kids. I told him about the medical process right away because I wanted to be open and not spring it on him all at once. Fortunately, he was willing to try, so we did. Now, after three failed ovulation induction attempts with Letrozol 2.5 and 5mg, six successful ovulations with Letrozol 7.5mg, an HSG, and a semen analysis, it still hasn’t worked. The gynecologist suggested we continue with Letrozol 7.5mg for another half-year and then reassess how to proceed. Today, I got my period again, and I’m noticing that the whole situation is weighing heavier on me. It feels like such a failure that my body won’t cooperate despite the medical help. I know there are still plenty of options for us, but I feel so sad. My friends and colleagues seem to be getting pregnant in droves, and I’m genuinely happy for them, but I wish it for myself too... Does this resonate with you? Or do you have any tips on how to cope with this?
Love,
Nice to meet you. I’m Sannie, 28 years old, and I work as a high school teacher. I just signed up because I really want to share my story and I’d love to connect with others in the same boat. My story is a bit long, but I’ll try to keep it concise.
I’ve had a strong desire for children since I was around 20. My partner at the time wasn’t quite ready for it, so we waited another three years before trying. In early 2016, I stopped taking the pill, which already brought some difficulties: I didn’t get my period for half a year, and the next one took another five months to show up. The GP initially blamed it on coming off the pill, but when I’d only had two periods after a year, she referred me to the hospital. After some tests, I was diagnosed with PCOS, and we were told that conceiving naturally probably wouldn’t work. The gynecologist said we should take our time to think about what we wanted and could start with ovulation induction meds whenever we were ready. Once I was in the car on the way home, I was already buzzing with excitement because I really wanted to go all out. Unfortunately, my ex didn’t see it that way and didn’t want to go through a medical process. He insisted it had to happen naturally, or not at all. He also thought we should just “have sex more often, since it’s not him.” This hurt me so much that it marked the beginning of the end for our relationship. We broke up a year and a half later.
Half a year later, I met my current partner. It felt right immediately, and luckily, I also got along well with his two kids. I told him about the medical process right away because I wanted to be open and not spring it on him all at once. Fortunately, he was willing to try, so we did. Now, after three failed ovulation induction attempts with Letrozol 2.5 and 5mg, six successful ovulations with Letrozol 7.5mg, an HSG, and a semen analysis, it still hasn’t worked. The gynecologist suggested we continue with Letrozol 7.5mg for another half-year and then reassess how to proceed. Today, I got my period again, and I’m noticing that the whole situation is weighing heavier on me. It feels like such a failure that my body won’t cooperate despite the medical help. I know there are still plenty of options for us, but I feel so sad. My friends and colleagues seem to be getting pregnant in droves, and I’m genuinely happy for them, but I wish it for myself too... Does this resonate with you? Or do you have any tips on how to cope with this?
Love,
Replies
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Koala Guest #2
Hi Sannie,
I wrote something very similar in another topic "letting go" (fertility category). Today I also got my period after ovulation stimulants. My husband's sperm wasn't okay either
. Maybe we can talk more about this? -
shootingstar #3
Hi,
I indeed had a 3-year journey. First, inducing ovulation didn't do much. Then I had another round of Letrozole treatment, and they removed the follicles. After that, I did 6 IUIs, which also had no effect. Then I started an IVF/ICSI cycle, and it worked within half a year. Our little girl is now 1.5 years old, and the second one is on its way naturally after stopping the pill for 3 months! What helped me enormously was losing a lot of weight, which helped reduce my PCOS symptoms. I don't know if you struggle with being overweight?
Letting go isn't easy in such a journey! So you really have to push through, and after that, you'll forget about it all! -
Curly started this #4
Hi Shootingstar. Thanks for your reply! Wow, you've been through quite a process. My BMI is 20.6, so losing weight isn't an option. That's great that it worked out naturally for the second one! Wishing you lots of luck with those little ones. -
shootingstar #5
Yeah, it was definitely intense! But it's truly all worth it. You don't really have anything to worry about now, but keep pushing forward! -
DG Guest #6
Oh Sannie, that's really tough for you! I don't think anyone here can give you tips on how to deal with this. I think all the ladies here would love to have a baby. Every month that it doesn't work out is a disappointment. Seeing other people around you who do get pregnant is painful, even though you're happy for them. Because you want it too!
We have a 3.5-year-old daughter. When she was 1 year old, I started feeling the urge again. Unfortunately, my husband didn't. We waited until our daughter was 2.5 years old and then had the IUD removed. So we've been trying for a year now and still no second child. I had a lot of doubts about my body because our daughter was born via C-section. I was worried that I might have scar tissue. I had an HSG test two weeks ago and everything turned out fine. A huge relief, but it also brought up more questions. Why isn't it working now? We could do further tests if we wanted to, but I feel so much resistance. I'm not ready yet to undergo more tests. I hope it still happens naturally.
It's a very different story from yours, but I can totally understand how you feel! -
Curly started this #7
Hi DG. Thanks for your reply. I can totally understand why the tests bring up some resistance, especially since your first baby went smoothly. How did you experience the HSG? I found it quite intense, but that might just be me.
Lots of love
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