What if...

Hey Ikke

It's so hard...
I think you should definitely give your man some time, but I understand that it's tough.
Maybe you could take a weekend or an evening away to talk calmly about this?
Often, conversations go better when you have time to be there for each other.

Hi!
I’d still really talk it over with your husband. Because you really want a third child, I think he should listen to you for once. Especially since you both wanted three kids together. It’s a shame that your husband has suddenly changed his mind and feels like he’s done. So that he can have more time for himself and his hobbies.
Talk it through well before you end up regretting it!

So tricky! My girlfriend was in the same situation and handled it pretty radically.
She just stopped using contraception (with his knowledge). Her stance was: "If you take my third baby away from me, then you take responsibility too! So cut it or use condoms." She knew perfectly well that he's very careless with condoms, and tadaaaaa: 2 weeks later she was "accidentally" pregnant with the third!
Her man still wasn't happy about it after 7 months, but he's come to terms with it. And on top of that, it's a girl; he had secretly hoped the third would be a boy, but now he's "stuck" with 3 daughters.
Honestly, I don't see their marriage working out either...
So I wouldn't take that option if I were you, but keep talking.

Never, ever force a child on someone. That's so wrong. That child would always feel it.

There's something wrong in your relationship. I'd talk about that. And show him how it feels. Let him see what it does to you. Plan your time after his hours like he does his, and let him take care of the kids or sort it out. This doesn't sound like a healthy, harmonious relationship.

You can't force a third child just because he said he wanted one. Opinions and wishes can change.

First, sort out your problems, then see what's left.

Dear auntie,

That’s indeed annoying. But as was said to me before, it can’t be solved without a good conversation.
Tell him that you’re not happy if he wants to take up so many hobbies. Because then he’ll be less present for the family.
And that you also want to do something for yourself sometimes.
That you’d like it if he also enjoyed doing something with you, or the whole family.
Maybe a bit of reverse psychology would work, nothing extreme. But if you know what his objections are, delve into those. Does that make it difficult too? For example, yes, it is a bit more expensive, right? Or, well then we’re starting all over with diapers.
But when the baby walks for the first time, that was special, right, when baby 1 and 2 walked for the first time?
Something like that, and also what did you talk about first with 3 kids? What did you/him dream of with 3 kids. What made it complete?
I’d also say that it takes extra time. But also make it clear what it means for you, and how happy you’d be because of it.
In other words, first look at all the disadvantages yourself... and if you’re sure that you want it despite all the drawbacks.
Then mention those drawbacks before he does it.
But also try to counter each disadvantage.
Or, maybe he’ll do that himself.

I hope you figure it out.

Here we’re still dealing with the second one.
But my partner has already indicated that he doesn’t want any more. While I’ve always had 3 in mind. So no idea how that’s going to turn out.
Maybe he can be persuaded, and I’ll have to find a place for the other one. Which already makes me sad. So actually I’m hoping for a miracle... and that I suddenly get pregnant with twins.