Biechthoekje
Doubts
Koekblik9
Hi everyone,
I hope I can share my story here. I’m somewhere in my mid-20s and have always said since I was little that I don’t want kids. I never really had any desire for them, and honestly, I still don’t really.
On top of that, I never wanted to give up my freedom and had many other reasons. The biggest one was that I simply didn’t have a desire for children.
A few years back, I met my boyfriend. He’s 7 years older and used to have wanted kids, but not anymore.
We’ve decided to take over his parents’ business. The plan is that I’ll do the weekday work and he’ll help out on weekends.
Since the business runs 24/7, we’ve had to adjust our plans quite a bit.
And since then, I’ve started feeling a bit of a twinge. But I also have a lot of doubts.
Do I really want this? Can I handle it? Will I regret it, since I still don’t like other kids?
Besides that, I absolutely don’t want all the sentimental and dramatic stuff from people around us. In my opinion, having a child isn’t a miracle in most cases. And I definitely don’t want to hear all those comments like “see, now you want kids after all” etc.
So how do I deal with this? I’d rather just tell no one and hide for 9 months.
Of course, I’ll also talk to my boyfriend about it soon. We need to both be 100% on board.
The only thing we use as contraception is condoms. Since I don’t react well to hormones and I’m not keen on the copper IUD, I’m not looking forward to those options.
I hope you can give me some tips and advice.
I hope I can share my story here. I’m somewhere in my mid-20s and have always said since I was little that I don’t want kids. I never really had any desire for them, and honestly, I still don’t really.
On top of that, I never wanted to give up my freedom and had many other reasons. The biggest one was that I simply didn’t have a desire for children.
A few years back, I met my boyfriend. He’s 7 years older and used to have wanted kids, but not anymore.
We’ve decided to take over his parents’ business. The plan is that I’ll do the weekday work and he’ll help out on weekends.
Since the business runs 24/7, we’ve had to adjust our plans quite a bit.
And since then, I’ve started feeling a bit of a twinge. But I also have a lot of doubts.
Do I really want this? Can I handle it? Will I regret it, since I still don’t like other kids?
Besides that, I absolutely don’t want all the sentimental and dramatic stuff from people around us. In my opinion, having a child isn’t a miracle in most cases. And I definitely don’t want to hear all those comments like “see, now you want kids after all” etc.
So how do I deal with this? I’d rather just tell no one and hide for 9 months.
Of course, I’ll also talk to my boyfriend about it soon. We need to both be 100% on board.
The only thing we use as contraception is condoms. Since I don’t react well to hormones and I’m not keen on the copper IUD, I’m not looking forward to those options.
I hope you can give me some tips and advice.
Replies
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Anonymous Guest #2
Talking to your partner and having a trusted female friend in on it.
You don't sound very convinced yet. I suspect that deep down, you're not really a Kleef mom. Which is totally fine. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses.
Talking is really the best approach, and maybe writing down the pros and cons could help. -
Koekblik9 started this #3
Not sounding convincing, I think, is probably a bit of self-protection.
I've only been able to think about babies this past week. And that's totally not like me. I even find it a bit scary
izzy: -
Anonymous Guest #4
Haha, try to enjoy it. They can be quite nice
Talking and reading up on it can really help. It's not all rosy, though. ???? -
Elena #5
At a certain point, I really felt that urge. I want a child
Mother nature? 
People always make comments.
If you don't want/can't have kids, if you only want one, if there are many, if they're boys or girls...
Most people don't mean it badly and just want to see you happy.
Go for what you feel inside. Share it enthusiastically. With those who are also enthusiastic, you can share your happiness; ignore the rest.
It's okay to change your mind.
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