Stepfamily drama

I feel like I don't belong in my in-laws' family... We're also different; I don't often buy expensive things for myself, and I don't go out much, etc. But recently, a friend of mine told me how much she was looking forward to the "mother-in-law evening" with her mother-in-law and sisters-in-law. Those women get together once in a while to have something to eat and chat... This doesn't happen with us. They do this, but I'm never invited, which makes me sad. What hurts the most is that there's a chat group we're all in (my husband doesn't chat, so they added me to it). Something happened that I found strange because nothing was discussed about it in the group... My husband called his mom, and apparently, they were discussing it quite a bit, but in the chat group where I wasn't included... Honestly, I thought things would change now that I became a mom. They're a bit older than me, and I couldn't often join in the conversation before, but now I can... Still, I don't feel like I fit in or can rely on their support... For example, behind my back, they said I should stop breastfeeding and it was a pity that I was so stubborn and wanted to continue (because it wasn't always smooth, but isn't that true for every mom?) It doesn't help that my husband is blind to this... And he always says, "Oh, they didn't mean it that way," or "Do you really think they said that to hurt you?"

I don't know what I want to achieve with this. Maybe it's relatable for someone? It feels good to write it off once in a while.

Hi there,
It's tough, right? Dealing with in-laws. My partner and I had been together for years, and I spent more than half my time at his place instead of mine. His mom suggested I move in with them, and at the time, it seemed like a great idea because things clicked. But now that I’ve been living here for a while and we’re renovating a house, I can’t wait to leave.

We’re so different! We don’t click when it comes to eating, shopping, doing laundry, who buys what, or whether it gets reimbursed... basically, lots of frustrations.

When my sister-in-law got pregnant, she changed completely. My mother-in-law makes comments about pregnancy struggles ("Oh, it’s nothing"

and babies sleeping through the night ("That’s on the parents, not the baby"

, which I completely disagree with and feel so angry about. Her ideas are always treated as "the truth." Now that I’m pregnant myself and barely get out of bed because of nausea and exhaustion, I feel like I’m being called a slacker, and it hurts.

On top of that, my brother-in-law has a new girlfriend, and he’s completely changed. We used to get along well, but now... It’s always loud and obnoxious (or worse, sickening...).

I can talk to my parents about everything, and frustrations are resolved quickly, but here, people always talk behind each other’s backs while pretending to be nice to their faces. It’s exhausting!

And because we always try to be there when needed and adjust our plans, it often ends up that we’re the ones who can’t make it when everyone else gathers. Everyone else is always prioritized, but we’re expected to drop everything for them. And even when we can be there, I’d rather leave because I can’t stand the atmosphere.

It’s hard to talk to your partner about this, right? You can’t change blood ties. But writing it down helps let go of the frustrations

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