Babbles
My boyfriend doesn't do anything at all.
AnonymousGuest ·
Hi,
I have a kid who just turned 2, and my partner does absolutely nothing. In those 2 years, he’s never once gotten up for the child, only gave the kid a bath once because the maternity nurse insisted. I have to beg him to change a diaper, he doesn't help with the housework. I work, and in the mornings he works 40 hours while I only work 5 hours a day. And when I say something about it, he says, "Yeah, you only work 5 hours a day anyway." And then I have to drop the kid off at daycare after work, pick them up, do the housework, walk the dogs, etc. He does play with the little one, but when it comes to care, he does absolutely nothing. I'm on the verge of breaking down because the little one is going through another phase of bad sleep. When I mention it, he just complains that I'm nagging. Last night was a mess again, so I said something, and his reply was, "Oh, come on," to which I naturally replied, "No, then it's a poor kid." He plays the good father for other people, but he doesn't even know how to close a car seat properly. I really don't know what to do anymore, I'm tired, so tired. I'm getting more and more hate towards this man, which I don't want, but he just doesn't get that I need help with everything.
I have a kid who just turned 2, and my partner does absolutely nothing. In those 2 years, he’s never once gotten up for the child, only gave the kid a bath once because the maternity nurse insisted. I have to beg him to change a diaper, he doesn't help with the housework. I work, and in the mornings he works 40 hours while I only work 5 hours a day. And when I say something about it, he says, "Yeah, you only work 5 hours a day anyway." And then I have to drop the kid off at daycare after work, pick them up, do the housework, walk the dogs, etc. He does play with the little one, but when it comes to care, he does absolutely nothing. I'm on the verge of breaking down because the little one is going through another phase of bad sleep. When I mention it, he just complains that I'm nagging. Last night was a mess again, so I said something, and his reply was, "Oh, come on," to which I naturally replied, "No, then it's a poor kid." He plays the good father for other people, but he doesn't even know how to close a car seat properly. I really don't know what to do anymore, I'm tired, so tired. I'm getting more and more hate towards this man, which I don't want, but he just doesn't get that I need help with everything.
Replies
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pingu #2
Hi anonymous,
That sounds really tough, having to deal with it all on your own. It’s his kid just as much as it’s yours. I’m all about equality, so I think the dad should also be doing his share—waving his hands around, so to speak. He wanted a kid too, right?
I’d be really angry too. His answers are truly unacceptable. I’m not sure how to get him to step up. Have a good conversation? Clear division of tasks where he takes over one or two things so you get some more rest? Working one day less would help, but he probably won’t agree to that. -
Jo Guest #3
Sounds like someone I wouldn't see a future with. -
Susanna #4
To start, have a good conversation. If he still doesn't want to listen, then maybe with the help of someone else? Because this is really unacceptable since it's his child too!!! -
Most15 #5
Wow, I'm reading this with such astonishment. That there are still men like that out there.
One thing is certain: this is not normal behavior. I'd suggest that if I were you, you take some distance from him for a while. He needs to hit a wall before he realizes something needs to change. When you (temporarily) leave him, he'll finally experience what it's like to be alone, and you can hope that his eyes will be opened. I wouldn't want to have a future with a man like that.
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