Forum Baby wish

Baby wish

10 replies

KimmieGuest ·
Hi everyone,

Since December, I've had a strong desire for kids that seems to be growing stronger every other day. Before this, I was always a bit unsure about wanting children. My partner and I have been together for 10 years (I'm 28, he's 29), and we've obviously talked about it over the years. He wants kids, but I don't get the feeling that it's "from the heart." He also often says it'll take a while. Still, he's very sweet with kids and recently mentioned he was curious about how much a child would cost (a lot of our friends are becoming parents now). When he got a photo album from his grandma, he said, "Yeah, nice, your kid will look like that later too." Given my age (I'd really like to be a mom before I turn 30) and the feeling that it might take a while, I'd love to throw my pill down the drain this summer after the holidays... My problem: I have no idea how to start this conversation with my partner! I've literally been losing sleep over it for weeks and have read all the forums... still looking for that one golden tip. We're both not people who have deep conversations, so I find it really hard! I'm so "scared" of his reaction!

Replies

  1. Mila Guest #2

    Hi Kimmie, such a relatable story! I think a lot of girls have been there, I certainly did. I talked to my partner about how I was really fed up with the pill after so many years and wanted to stop to see how I’d feel without it. I mainly pointed out the benefits for me of not being on the pill. He thought it made sense that I wanted to get off it, and together we decided not to go for condoms (ugh!!) but to just “go for it...”. After a while, we decided to just stop worrying and when pregnancy didn’t happen for a while, we started trying harder. So it all went very naturally!

    What do you think he’d say if you told him you want to stop the pill and mentioned the benefits? Contraception is shared responsibility, of course. And he gets a lot back for it without the pill, haha

  2. Gwen #3

    We were lying in bed one evening, and I just asked him what he thought about it. I knew he really wanted kids, but he was still pretty shocked! This was in April. We agreed to enjoy one more summer of all the parties and for him to get used to the idea. In October, he came to me on his own saying, "I'm ready for this." We got pregnant in November. Bring up the question with him gently; don't scare him off by saying, "I've got egg-popping ovaries and want to go for it NOW." Haha. That'll definitely make him feel suffocated. Good luck!

  3. Mimi #4

    At some point, it came up. (Our parents aren’t the youngest, so we discussed that it would be nicer for them and for our kids if we went for it. Not necessarily a strong urge on my part, but we were ready.)
    And what Gwen said: At that time, she still went out partying every summer.

    I’d talk it over with him, even though you guys “don’t have deep conversations.” Maybe he’s thinking about it too, and if not, he can get used to the idea.

  4. Happy girl Guest #5

    We had been saying for years that we wanted to do it someday but not yet. And then one day I just randomly said: should I stop taking the pill? And he said: go ahead
    I got pregnant right away, and to this day, it's been the best decision ever!

  5. kimmie #6

    Test

  6. kimmie #7

    Hi Mila,
    It's nice that you recognize yourself in this too. What benefits have you mentioned to yourself when talking to your partner? For myself, I also have quite a few benefits if I were to stop.
    Right now, I think he might be quite shocked if I tell him I want to stop. So I want to give him a bit more time to think about it and maybe stop after the summer vacation (which would be in July for us).

  7. kimmie #8

    Thanks!
    I’ll indeed give him some time, because I think he’ll be startled. He knows that I’m really thinking about something at the moment!

  8. kimmie #9

    Special! I hope that's also going to be his reaction... He recently said that his little brother would probably be born earlier, and I made it clear that I don't think so...

  9. Mila Guest #10

    And Kimmie, did the test work?

    I had a lot of trouble with the hormones in the pill. After stopping, I had more desire, was happier, had fewer mood swings, etc. That really convinced him that the pill is crap, and after a few weeks he also wanted to ditch the condoms, haha!

    What step are you going to take now?

  10. Joy #11

    I wanted a baby for a while, he did too, but our house was really not suitable and somewhere he was also afraid of having a child. So we decided that I would stop taking the pill until we moved, and that he would take care of contraception until he was ready.
    After 6 months we moved (Aug 2015)... So said, so done. We had condom sex now and then. I had nothing against it. So for me we hadn't started yet. In Dec 2015 a positive test. And he was very happy about that. I was shocked at how fast it happened.
    For our 2nd we needed over 1 year and for our 3rd (after a miscarriage) 5 months.
    I would definitely talk about it. Most men are quite passive about this. And I really think that most women bring it up first.

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