Forum Baby wish

Third child, yes or no?

15 replies

DD
Hi,
After a lot of hassle, we now have three boys, one of whom unfortunately couldn’t stay with us..
I’m crazy about kids, always wanted a big family.
First pregnancy ended in miscarriage at 7 weeks.
Second pregnancy gave us our first boy.
Third pregnancy we had to terminate at 17 weeks due to a chromosomal abnormality.
Then fourth pregnancy via IVF (PGD) and our third beautiful boy was born.
I really want another child and know that no one can tell me what I should or shouldn’t do. It’ll all have to go through IVF again, but I won’t shy away from it if I get a little miracle in return.
But maybe some pros and cons from people who have three kids or those who have similar doubts?
Hopefully I’ll find some support/tips from other moms here.
Love, DD

Replies

  1. Joy #2

    I see that your 3rd little boy is only 4 months old. Maybe time will bring clarity?
    Since I think that if you really want another child, there's always room for one more in your house What does your husband think about it?

  2. DD started this #3

    @Joy;
    My youngest son is almost five months old now. He is indeed still small .. I always wanted a 'late addition' for our last child but my thoughts on that have changed now. Since we're still in the thick of diapers and bottles and baby food, I'd rather just do it all at once
    My husband follows my decision as long as we can financially provide everything our kids want. So I can't complain in that regard. Although I have the feeling he'd rather wait a bit 'longer'. But he says if you want it, I'll follow you (since I'm the one who takes care of the kids most, he works a lot).

  3. DD started this #4

    @Joy:
    Congratulations on your pregnancy. I see you've also been through some intense things. Are you feeling okay at the stage you're at? Since you're close to 34 weeks. May I ask what exactly happened?
    I hope everything goes smoothly for you and that you get to hold your sweet baby boy soon and safely in your arms

  4. Joy #5

    Thanks! Yes, indeed, these are mentally tough weeks... But for now, things are heading in the right direction this time. So we're hoping for a healthy baby boy soon
    With E, it turned out at 32 weeks that something was wrong with his brain. An MRI was done. It showed that he would be severely mentally and physically disabled with severe spasms. No quality of life. He would most likely die shortly after birth... So we decided to relieve him of his suffering.
    Regarding the kids themselves... I always wanted them close together. I'm upset that - due to circumstances - there will be almost 4 years between my children. So personally, I'd like to have them close together if possible

  5. 011543662 Guest #6

    I was also hesitating, not about whether we wanted it, but rather when.. now pregnant with number 3.. youngest is just 8 months old. Close together, so.. I'll just let things come to me.

  6. DD started this #7

    I can totally imagine these are tough weeks! It's awful having to make such a choice, but 'probably' the best one. Though sometimes I still have moments where I think, was that really the right choice, even though you know deep down it was the best one.

    Try to enjoy your pregnancy anyway! I didn't enjoy anything with my last little boy.. I sometimes regret that, although I didn't dwell on it, I was just so scared of having to give him up!

    I can believe you feel a bit sad that there's a four-year gap, but if they're healthy, that's the most important thing, right?

    Is there still talk of a third child with you guys?

  7. DD started this #8

    @011;
    Congrats! How far along are you now?
    Secretly a bit jealous. I think I'd also really prefer to have them close together now.

  8. Orchidea #9

    First off, a beautiful profile picture..!! What a handsome guy. ;-) It's so tough that you had to give him up.

    And I think you've already made up your mind, just go for it. My daughter was also 4/4.5 months old when we decided to try again, unfortunately not pregnant yet, we had a miscarriage in March. Now we hope our wish will be fulfilled soon too.

  9. Joy #10

    I don’t think there’s going to be another one. This pregnancy has been physically really tough. So much pain in my pelvis, lots of hard contractions, and migraine attacks. So I’m not seeing it happening anytime soon. I do want the baby though. Really badly. But another pregnancy? No thanks.

  10. DD started this #11

    @Orchidea;
    Thanks. He was indeed a handsome one. Crazy how perfect they already are at that stage! Nails, little lips... it was actually unbelievable. Every day I'm proud to be his mom.
    I hope you get pregnant again soon!! And then a permanent one.. it's a shame how nature sometimes works, isn't it.
    @Joy;
    Almost there and you'll be done. I understand your thoughts regarding pregnancy. It's a bit like that here too after everything, mentally very heavy to be pregnant but it still tickles And strange but true, I think I'll enjoy it a bit more now since I'll have less time to dwell on it with two little ones around me. But yeah, that's what I'm saying now of course

  11. Joy #12

    I really hope so for you!! It's your blessing, girl!

  12. Liesbeth #13

    We have two kids. A son and a daughter. Now we're going for a third and pregnant with twins
    When we first found out, I was in shock for a bit. But now I'm totally used to it and I'm looking forward to it so much!

  13. DD started this #14

    Thank you, Joy.

    Wow, Liesbeth, congratulations! Double congratulations!
    I've thought about that too, since we have to get pregnant through IVF. Secretly, I'd love that too (though I think it's tough). How old are your other kids?

  14. Liesbeth #15

    Haha thanks! Our daughter is 6 and our son is 4. It’ll definitely be an adjustment, but I hope it’ll work out well

  15. DD started this #16

    That'll be fine. And four helping hands

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