Forum Baby wish

Wanted baby but scared

5 replies

LineGuest ·
Hey ladies,

My partner and I are going to start trying for our first baby soon
I've had a strong desire for children for years and he does too. But I've been putting it off for years because I'm scared of the unknown.. Being pregnant, being responsible for someone else. I'm so afraid that everything is going to change and especially that I won't do it well and that I'll miss the time just the two of us. Because right now we're having such a great time with just the two of us
But anyway, we've finally made up our minds and the coil is coming out in May! I'm looking forward to it so much but I'm also getting more scared as the gynecologist appointment gets closer
My partner totally understands how I feel but is convinced that everything will turn out fine! Really such a sweetheart
Is it normal that I feel this way or is this a sign that I should probably (once again) put it off? :-(

Replies

  1. Lisa Guest #2

    Hi Line,
    How exciting, right!! I think it’s totally normal to feel a bit anxious. Having a child is kind of like taking a leap into the unknown anyway. No one knows exactly what’s coming, and that makes everything so thrilling and a bit scary... The fact that you’re feeling a bit “scared” about it, I think, is mainly a sign that you’re really thinking things through. If you’ve got a cozy house/apartment where the child can grow up, no financial worries, and you both really want it, then I wouldn’t put it off (again). What will come, will come, and once you’re pregnant, you’ll be looking forward to it anyway.
    We’re in a similar situation; we’re also starting to talk about having kids in a few months. I’ve had the same worries as you, and I still do! It’ll all work out. ???? Good luck.
    Love, Lisa

  2. Line started this #3

    Oh, how nice! Another person counting down (and feeling anxious)
    Yeah, somewhere in my mind I also think it’ll be normal, but still... It’s all so exciting
    Rationally, everything is as you mentioned. We just bought a nice apartment with a room for the future baby. Both have stable jobs with a really good income, so that’s definitely not a problem, thankfully
    Hopefully, you’ll be pregnant soon!!

  3. Floor Guest #4

    Wow, that sounds so intense! I had the exact same feeling, but only once I was already pregnant. Everything was absolutely perfect and I was super happy, but suddenly I got this really uncomfortable feeling like: ooooo noooo, what are we all going to add to our relationship that’s doing so well right now? Once the baby comes, everything will change and we can never go back. It’s just something so final that you get a kind of cold feet. If you hate your house? Then sell it. If you don’t like your partner anymore, you can break up. If you hate your job? Then find another one. But a child is forever. No way back. That really hit me hard. Eventually, though, it faded pretty quickly and we fell insanely in love with that little boy! He brings not only a lot of responsibilities, but also a new kind of love we didn’t know before: the love of a father and mother for a child. Very special. Now I’m pregnant with the second one, and again I’ve sometimes thought: what are we getting ourselves into now? With one kid we have so much routine and it’s so easy. But that works out too! I have full confidence in that. I think your feelings are normal, just realistic. But try to enjoy it too.

  4. Mila Guest #5

    Well said, Floor!

  5. Line started this #6

    Thanks, girls! I couldn't quite put it into words, but it's exactly as you wrote, Floor!! That feeling that there's no way back.
    But I'm already happy to hear that it's not abnormal. Now counting down to May!

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