Forum Baby wish

When are you going?

8 replies

LisaGuest ·
Hi everyone. My future husband and I decided a while back that we want kids. I've already stopped the pill and we're using a condom now, to get my cycle back on track and to learn it. We'd like to conceive as soon as possible, but we're getting married at the end of this year. You never know how a pregnancy will go, but would you wait until after the wedding or try earlier (max. 3 months so the wedding dress still fits)? The wait already feels endless, and it could be that we'll have to wait a long time before it works. Not drinking alcohol is the least of my worries, so for that reason I wouldn't wait. Thanks for your replies!

Replies

  1. Mila Guest #2

    Hi Lisa, how lovely that you're getting married and have a baby wish! If you're longing for a little one to be big enough, I'd just let nature do its thing. So no testing or lying around with your legs up, but just have sex when you feel like it. I'd definitely stop using condoms, but I've always thought they were smelly, worthless things, haha!

  2. Joy #3

    I'd just go for it. Very relaxing as mentioned above, and start your cycle etc. from the wedding. Then you're already busy for a while anyway. It could be that you're pregnant right away, but then you'll adjust quickly anyway. Or maybe you're round 6 pregnant. Then you have a nice announcement at your wedding. If there's something you can't plan, it's a baby. There will always be something on the road where you say 'hmm, maybe better to delay.' But if you already have a child, you'll take that hurdle with the kid. Of course, you do need to have a stable relationship (you're getting married so that seems fine ), and preferably some financial means too.

  3. Mimi #4

    If you're ready for it: I'd just go for it now! You can also buy a nice dress for pregnant women, right?
    A pregnant bride is beautiful!
    Like Mila says, just start without any pressure.

    One more thing from my own experience. If you're in the first 3 months, you might have severe nausea and extreme fatigue, so maybe it's better to be further along (if you're lucky enough to conceive quickly). We waited until after the wedding, and it was a mega beautiful but also exhausting day. I wouldn't have lasted through that with the nausea I had during the past 8 weeks. Although later in pregnancy there are other issues sometimes...

    It can all work out fine, so my advice is: go for it if the desire for a child is strong

    Bonus: then you'll hopefully have passed the uncertain first weeks (where the chance of miscarriage is still quite high and you can't have an ultrasound yet).

  4. Lisa started this #5

    Oh, thanks in advance for your advice! The only thing that might 'hold us back' is the risk of morning sickness or a miscarriage. We've been together for quite a few years, built our own home, and have already gone through a tough period together, so our relationship is definitely solid. Financially, we're also in a good place: a cozy home (with just some finishing touches left to do here and there) and nice savings for the future. We're not 'rich', but we certainly have a good foundation and both have permanent jobs. The future grandparents would also always be there for us. The wedding dress is already bought, so it still needs to fit ???? A little baby bump is fine since it's not super tight. For that reason, we'd still like to wait a bit anyway, so the bump isn't too big yet. All very exciting!

  5. Floor Guest #6

    What an exciting time for you two! How lovely! I think it's really a personal choice. When I look back at the first trimester of my own pregnancies, I would have absolutely NOT wanted to get married. I was sooo nauseous and tired that I would have found it truly awful. I don't know how old you are, but I'd personally wait a bit until after the wedding. A bit of doom thinking maybe, but what if you get a severe pregnancy and have to vomit all day long? Etc. Etc. You can't control when you get pregnant, and I understand you want it ASAP, but I'd really feel it's a waste of my day.

  6. Lisa started this #7

    Thanks also, Floor, for your reply! I'm having a pretty tough time right now. Good friends (same age) already have a second child, one pregnancy announcement or birth after another... "My ovaries are rattling," as they say. I try to distract myself, but I'm still thinking about it every day. Sometimes I just get a headache or cry because I wish I could just put the desire aside for a bit... Of course, that's not possible. We want a great wedding day, so it would be a shame if I were feeling nauseous or something on that day, but the wait is so long. The thought that it might be a long wait again before it works doesn't help either. None of you have a crystal ball or a solution, I know, but it feels good to let it out for a bit.

  7. Zusss #8

    I was pregnant before my wedding but had a miscarriage shortly before. It didn’t take away from the festive day, my day was fantastic!

  8. Mila Guest #9

    Maybe you should just let it happen if you want it that much? Why not just toss out those condoms and have sex whenever you both feel like it, without worrying about your cycle? If it works out, great! If not, well, marriage is still on the table, and that’s fine too. Don’t make it too heavy—you can’t time everything perfectly!

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