Forum Baby wish

Sudden erectile problems

5 replies

IlseGuest ·
Hi everyone,

My husband and I have been trying for almost a year to conceive. The last time we had sex, he suddenly went soft towards the end. He did come, though. Last night we wanted to have sex again, and he got hard, but after a minute he suddenly went soft. He was very emotional, and because of that, we couldn't have sex. In his entire life—he's 32 years old—he's never had this happen before. He says he still has a strong desire and that there's nothing wrong with our relationship. He's now extremely insecure.

My question is, has anyone else experienced this themselves? And what could be the cause? How should we best handle this? We've been trying for quite a while, and I think the pressure might be related, but I'm worried it could also be something physical...

Ilse

Replies

  1. Anonymous Guest #2

    I totally relate to this. When I first started dating my boyfriend, we were having sex every day. Then, about three months later, his erections started becoming weak during sex, and I suddenly started having a bad smell down there. He was only 19, so we both got tested.

    Turns out I had chlamydia and had passed it on to him. That caused his erection problems. After a course of antibiotics, we were both free of STIs.

    I don't know if that's possible in your case, but I know chlamydia can sometimes stay hidden for a while.

  2. Ilse started this #3

    Thanks for your reply! I'm sure I don't have chlamydia, since I already had a blood test before we wanted to get pregnant. We've been together for 6 years, so I assume he doesn't have it either, because otherwise I would have caught it too. Unless he's been cheating... It doesn't smell like that, though...

  3. KittyCat #4

    Hi Ilse,
    I don't have any experience with this, but I think it's more likely that the pressure is making your man a bit nervous. He feels like he has to perform at the right moment because you both want it so much, which might be causing him some stress.
    And maybe the fact that it happened the second time is because he's afraid it will happen again. He might think, 'Oh no, I hope it doesn't happen again!' And precisely because of these thoughts, he gets distracted, and that's exactly what happens!
    I think it's best not to worry too much, relax together, and not put too much pressure on it!

  4. Anonymous Guest #5

    Hey Ilse,

    I follow what KittyCat says. My husband also had trouble with this from time to time when we’d been trying for a while. It really came down to the mental pressure of having to perform because my ovulation was approaching. And once it didn’t work out one time, he’d have twice as much stress the next time, worrying it wouldn’t work again.

    I tried not to tell him anymore when my ovulation was, so that at least it seemed more spontaneous for him. (Although that didn’t always work, since he kept track of it himself too.) We also took a much longer approach, trying to really enjoy it again instead of mainly seeing it as a means to an end for having that baby.

  5. Ilse started this #6

    Hi everyone,
    Thank you so much for your responses. We haven't tried to have sex again since the last time; he didn't want to. I told him he should take the initiative so it feels less pressured. Now he says he's been experiencing a burning sensation when urinating over the last few days. That sounds like a bladder infection or something similar? He's now saying he wants to make an appointment with the GP next week. He says he didn't really feel much pressure to perform before, but now he does because things went wrong last time.
    Best,
    Ilse

Add your reply

Share what helped you, or ask a question.

Sign in to join the conversation.

Continue with Google

Takes a moment. You’ll come straight back here to reply.