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He's leaving me hanging.

8 replies

Anoniem
This is my second baby, and the father of my first child resents me for getting pregnant by another man. My daughter is 5 now, and I've taken everyone and everything into consideration for years. Now, the current father is giving up, and he's not even contacting me anymore. It's so contradictory because he always said he'd be there for us, but that wasn't true. It was already tough because a week before I found out I was pregnant, it turned out he had lied about a lot of things. I was already done with him because I don't like lies. My trust in him was gone. Anyway, over the weekend, we were supposed to meet and be honest about everything. One lie he told was about an accident he supposedly caused, where a 16-year-old girl was run over and died in his arms. He also lied about an ex and another girl he was seeing, and that girl turned out to be married, etc., and she was cheating on her husband with him, and there was a whole string of lies like that. So, we found out I was pregnant, and he wanted to do everything possible, blah blah blah, and now he's not responding to anything, and I've also sent him a message saying I don't want any more contact. He has already spent a few hundred euros on baby stuff. Anyway, then I have the father of my first child calling me selfish because I'm keeping this baby and saying it's not right, etc. And well, it's a tough situation. My ex wants me to have an abortion, and I won't do that. That's the long story, very shortened. Greetings, Kar.

Replies

  1. * #2

    @Karina,
    What a terribly complex situation, and I really admire that you want to share all this... What terrible people you've got around you. I find it hard for you. Your ex has no say in whether you should have an abortion, yes or no...

    As for your current ex, I think it's best to stay away from someone like that pathological liar... But I imagine it must also be sad for you, isn't it? It's a tough spot, so just let it all out, girl. I hope you find some support in sharing your stories...

    Love, Ju

  2. Anoniem started this #3

    Hey Ju, thanks for your message. Yeah, I'm having a pretty tough time with it, but my baby and my child keep me going, and I have lovely friends around me who help me out. Yeah, the father of my current ex just called too, and he finds it difficult for both sides as well, but well, his parents are such kind, good people, and that's really sad. But he said his father too, he's very immature, throwing away his phone since yesterday, not responding to anything anymore, then you're a coward in my eyes. And my trust in him is completely gone. I'm also going to try to distract myself with other things because I need to be strong for my child and baby. Love, Karien. Thanks again for your message xxx

  3. evelien #4

    Oh wow, what a story. How can something so beautiful have such an impact :-(
    I completely agree with Ju. It's your baby, and no one has the right to tell you that you should have an abortion.

  4. Mommy-Of-Nyana #5

    Hi girls, oh my, what a difficult and complex situation this must be for you.
    It's very brave of you to share your story like this! And it can only do you good!
    Now, as far as I'm concerned, you'd be better off avoiding your current ex if he always tells lies... and since he's not answering you now either, it's better to have no more contact with him...
    Your ex-husband, as you said earlier, has absolutely no say in your choice whether to have an abortion or not! This is completely your choice! Or does he secretly regret not having you anymore? Because that's a very jealous reaction from him, I think. You're not selfish at all, girl! In such situations, you should first think about yourself and decide what you want or don't want to do! And if you choose to keep the baby, that means you're not just thinking about yourself but also about the growing little being in your belly! Your 5-year-old daughter won't cry about whether the baby is her dad's or not! She'll be so happy to have a brother or sister
    And even if you choose an abortion, girl, you're not just thinking about yourself! Because you'll be deciding whether it's financially feasible and so on... So on that level, you're never just thinking about yourself!

    I speak from experience, girls! I had an abortion at 16 for financial reasons, and my then boyfriend had left me hanging, and I felt I was too young. I just couldn't give that baby the life it deserved! So you think about yourself but also about the baby you'll have to raise!

    I think it's super of you to go all out for your little girl and your little bump that's now starting to grow... Don't let yourself get too stressed, girl, and just enjoy your little bump!! I'm sure he/she will have a beautiful future ahead with you and his/her big sister!
    It's just a pity that there are such guys in the world!! When they can have fun, they're happy until they have to take responsibility... then they're like little kids and real cowards!
    Well, girl, lots of strength and incredible success with your pregnancy, and enjoy it!!
    Lots of love

  5. * #6

    @Karina,
    I'll send you a PM, okay..

    Love Ju

  6. Kelly #7

    Wow, what a story, Karina! I'm actually speechless, but I want to let you know that I think it's really brave of you to share your story and handle things this way! I hope that, despite everything, you still enjoy your pregnancy because it remains a miracle, of course. I think you're going to be a fantastic mother!

  7. Dani #8

    Hi Karina,

    Oh my goodness, that's quite a situation you're in.
    A lot has already been written, and honestly, I don't have much to add.
    Kudos to you for keeping it up with your kids! Let's be honest, what kind of fathers are those?
    But I can understand that you're having a hard time with it.

    I wish you lots of strength and success, keep writing and sharing your story here, and I hope you have enough loving, reliable, and helpful people around you.

    Warm regards,
    Dani

  8. Anoniem started this #9

    Thanks for the sweet replies. Yes, my daughter isn't getting any of this right now, and I'll explain it to her once I've passed the 12-week mark. You have to keep smiling, not just for your child but for yourself too. But I do notice that I'm pretty tired. Hope this gets better again. Yesterday I went to the ultrasound alone because he had to work so he couldn't come with me. But I was happy again and felt good with the thought that everything is okay with my baby. Otherwise, there will be some ups and downs, I hope more ups than downs. Just took the little girl to judo, tomorrow to swimming lessons, this just goes on and I want to do everything as well as possible. I find it nice to read the sweet messages from all of you, then I can also write my thoughts off my mind. I don't feel like a victim or anything, but it does lighten the load. Sometimes it all becomes a bit too much for me, but well, what comes will also go again if it's good. And I'm normally very positive and also quite nervous, but now that I'm pregnant I don't feel so nervous as I was before. I'm just incredibly tired .... Love, Karina

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