Baby wish
Sharing experiences
Chanti
Hi ladies,
I've been reading along for a while, but I really wanted to share my story for a moment. I hope this is the right place for it
Back in January this year, my partner and I decided to try for a baby. Getting pregnant wasn't an issue because I already had a positive test in February. After some bleeding and the first ultrasound, we found out there was a gestational sac without an embryo. A few days later, the miscarriage started naturally. It was a really sad experience, but four months later, I got another positive test! I was a bit unsure going into the ultrasound, but at the first scan, we saw a beating heart, though the baby was almost two weeks behind in growth. Two weeks later, we were called back for a check-up. I went home feeling a bit sad, but at least there was a heartbeat. That gave us some hope. But at that second ultrasound, we found out the heartbeat had stopped, and the world fell out from under our feet.
I had convinced myself that my body would recognize if something wasn't right, but unfortunately, a few days later, I induced the miscarriage with Cytotec.
It's been a month now, and I've had my first period again. Luckily, my cycle is back haha.
Right now, I'm noticing feelings I haven't experienced before. Women around me are getting pregnant, and when I hear that news, I get a kind of stabbing sensation. Anger, jealousy, sadness. Why didn't it work out for me? Twice in a row?!
I still smile and congratulate them at that moment and am happy for them (which I truly am for that person), but at home, I completely break down, and all those emotions come pouring out.
I'm sure I'm not the only one going through this, unfortunately
I've been reading along for a while, but I really wanted to share my story for a moment. I hope this is the right place for it
Back in January this year, my partner and I decided to try for a baby. Getting pregnant wasn't an issue because I already had a positive test in February. After some bleeding and the first ultrasound, we found out there was a gestational sac without an embryo. A few days later, the miscarriage started naturally. It was a really sad experience, but four months later, I got another positive test! I was a bit unsure going into the ultrasound, but at the first scan, we saw a beating heart, though the baby was almost two weeks behind in growth. Two weeks later, we were called back for a check-up. I went home feeling a bit sad, but at least there was a heartbeat. That gave us some hope. But at that second ultrasound, we found out the heartbeat had stopped, and the world fell out from under our feet.
I had convinced myself that my body would recognize if something wasn't right, but unfortunately, a few days later, I induced the miscarriage with Cytotec.
It's been a month now, and I've had my first period again. Luckily, my cycle is back haha.
Right now, I'm noticing feelings I haven't experienced before. Women around me are getting pregnant, and when I hear that news, I get a kind of stabbing sensation. Anger, jealousy, sadness. Why didn't it work out for me? Twice in a row?!
I still smile and congratulate them at that moment and am happy for them (which I truly am for that person), but at home, I completely break down, and all those emotions come pouring out.
I'm sure I'm not the only one going through this, unfortunately
Replies
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Anne #2
I think those feelings/thoughts are pretty normal, it's not nothing what you went through. Even if it was still early, once you have a test in your hand you start dreaming anyway etc.. I had a miscarriage myself last September, a bit over a month later my brother had a son. I was happy for them but I also found it hard at that moment. Especially in the beginning, I didn't have much desire to hold him while normally I'm crazy about babies. But looking back, I'm glad I did hold him every now and then and didn't show too much of my feelings to them at that moment. It can exist side by side, being happy for someone but also feeling your own grief. You should do what feels right for you. Hopefully happiness will smile on you soon and you'll have your little miracle too. At the time it felt like it took forever, but a year and two weeks after the miscarriage I gave birth to my son now. And it was worth the wait, although unfortunately I wasn't as carefree during the pregnancy as with the first one because you know the downside now. Hopefully good news soon and lots of strength, talk about it with people you feel comfortable with. -
Chanti #3
@ Anne: Congratulations on the birth of your son! So glad he's here! It's so sweet that you wanted to share your story!
@ Puck: Our stories sound so similar! The first one hasn't even been processed yet, and then the second blow comes
I'm so sad that you had to go through that too; I also read about what's happening to you now, it must be incredibly intense for you! I wish you all the best!
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