crushing on a taken colleague

Keeping your distance without a reason, or just ignoring your feelings. I wouldn't tell him about it because that would only cause unrest if you don't want to do anything about it anyway.

Take responsibility! You also have a family, and if you're not happy there, wrap that up neatly first. Then you can look for someone else. Otherwise, you'll end up breaking up two families.

First, you need to figure out if it's just a crush or real love. Do you still feel something with your husband? Do you want to fight for it? No? Be honest, and decide to go your own separate ways.

Besides, I don't think you have the right to break up a family. Your colleague has a family, so leave it as it is. If he takes the step to become single on his own, then you can consider moving forward.

Suppose you go after a taken man anyway. What do you expect? That he'll give up everything for you? That could turn out ugly. Then you'll end up alone and might wish you hadn't been so foolish to believe in a crush.

If he suddenly sees you as more than just a colleague, like a mistress, you'll also face a tough time. Just starting out together, and you have to manage everything for four kids and coordinate with two exes. I'm not saying it can't work. I'm just saying... realize what you're getting into. This isn't something you can just try out casually.

I once read an article by an 87-year-old lady with a very long and happy marriage. She wrote that over all those years of marriage, she had indeed found someone else interesting or even fallen in love. It's almost inevitable, but - as she said - you push it aside, ignore it, avoid it, and then it really passes. That's always stayed with me. And of course, it's easier said than done. I would create distance without saying it. Apart from your own situation, he's also not a free man, and a woman often ends up on the short end of the stick when someone has to leave for work due to complicated relationships. I hope you manage to create distance.

thanks for the advice, I'll try to fight the attraction.

Oh, what a hassle.
I have experience with this—it’s happened to me twice. I agree with what’s been said above, but the question is: if you were to tell him, what would you hope to achieve by it?
If you let him know, things could also become awkward, especially if it’s not mutual.

My colleague is leaving soon and moving on to a new job. I was thinking maybe I could give him something and wish him lots of luck in his future life. What do you all think?
Or just do nothing?

Telling my husband isn't a good idea because I don't want to do anything further with it. These are feelings I also feel guilty about, and I thought that by sharing them here, I could give them a place without unnecessarily hurting people around me. The comment he made isn't the reason for my feelings toward him. I do appreciate your advice and understand your comment.

Hope you find the right way to deal with your feelings. Suppressing or ignoring emotions is, in my opinion, unhealthy for both body and mind in the long run. Keep it light, don't be too hard on yourself. Take care!