Forum Baby wish

Pregnant with the first after 3.5 years, now trying for a second.

7 replies

Carpje
Hi everyone,
We've been trying for a second baby for 10 months now. With our first, I ended up getting pregnant spontaneously after 3.5 years.
I'm finding the process pretty tough again this time. I had hoped a second would happen quicker, but I'm afraid we might end up back at the hospital in a few months.
My cycle has been a bit weird this month too. I'm on day 33 and it seems like I might be ovulating now, and the ovulation test is positive. While I had the feeling I ovulated 10 days ago. Has anyone experienced this before?
Or any other mums trying for a second baby, where it also took a while to get pregnant with the first?

Replies

  1. starz #2

    Dear Carpje,
    That's great to hear that it worked out spontaneously after 3.5 years. How old is your child?
    We've been trying for 5 years and had a lot of ICSI treatments. After that, we became spontaneously pregnant with our daughter, who is now 9.5 months old. Now we're pregnant again, almost 2 months along.
    I read that you've been trying for 10 months now, and I hope it works out again. You mention being afraid of being back in the fertility clinic in a few months. Is it about fertility treatment?

  2. Carpje started this #3

    Hi! Thanks for your message. Our son is now 2.5 years old. So you've had a whole journey and then got pregnant spontaneously. That's great! And super nice that you're pregnant again! Congratulations! So it worked spontaneously this time too? How did you experience the process at the hospital? With our first, we were busy for a total of 3.5 years. Since there was nothing wrong with either of us, we had to try on our own for 2 years first. After that, we had 6 IUI treatments, and then, just before we were going to start IVF, I found out I was pregnant. Extremely happy! I think I'm mainly afraid that it will take longer this time. The age gap with the first is getting bigger. And before I was pregnant, I was very sad that it wasn't working, sometimes that feeling comes back a bit. I really wish my son had a brother or sister. And around me, there are also many pregnant with their second. I'm genuinely happy for them, but sometimes I find it difficult too.

  3. starz #4

    Here I am pregnant too, spontaneously.
    The journey to pregnancy was tough. Besides being physically demanding, it was mentally even harder. I couldn't stand seeing pregnant women anymore, and I didn't understand why it had to be so hard for us. But the desire was so strong that I quickly started a new treatment each time. IVF wasn't an option for us due to my partner's sperm quality. Now that we have our little girl, I often think back to that time and realize I was on autopilot. Giving up was never an option for me.

    We both know the feeling that getting pregnant isn't just a given. Although in our case, it worked out naturally. I'll cheer for you both! And giving up is not an option! I hope that the whole IVF process won't be necessary for you. And don't forget, it CAN happen! Our children are proof of that!

  4. Emmy #5

    Why do you wait so long to seek help? A medical process isn't exactly fun, but if it helps or speeds things up, it might be the nicest option.

  5. Carpje started this #6

    @stars; I completely understand. And that's just how it is, you go for it. But such a journey is really intense! Thanks for your encouragement. I need to keep believing that it can work!
    @emmy; thanks for your message. Unfortunately, we had no say in the matter the first time. We were required to try on our own for 2 years first because there was nothing medically wrong with either of us. And because I got pregnant spontaneously after 3.5 years, we're only getting a referral now after a year. I don't know what to do next. Have you had experience with this?

  6. Emmy #7

    Yes, with the first one, we were quickly in a medical trajectory after the first miscarriage. That trajectory also took a long time before we could proceed after the first IUI and then after two ICSI treatments. With the second one, we went straight to ICSI.
    I really pushed hard for it myself.

  7. Carpje started this #8

    Good that you sat in on so many of those yourself! I’m going to call the GP after all soon!

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