Unplanned pregnancy, now miscarriage

I hope you have experience with multiple miscarriages, but not unplanned and then not anymore.

A big hug for you. Lots of strength. Keep talking and expressing yourself so you can hopefully give it a place.

Planned doesn't mean unwanted. It's easier for your husband. It's your body. For him, nothing has changed. Yes, you were pregnant... Fuck, not planned, and before he could get used to it, everything was back to normal... That's different for you. I would bring that up and say... OK, it was unplanned and I don't want a third, but I'm quite sad. That's separate from wanting children, right?

It’s not nothing to go through, and I can even imagine that your desire for a child might have been rekindled by this. It’s just a matter of getting used to the idea of a third child, and now suddenly it’s not happening. And indeed, a miscarriage is incredibly hard to go through no matter what. Our second pregnancy ended in a miscarriage. "Planned" and wanted, and immense grief. My husband was sad too, but he was much more composed about it. Not that he didn’t care, but he processed it differently. I can imagine that your husband wasn’t even used to the idea, and now it’s already over (probably). It’s also possible that he’s keeping it more to himself. Maybe discuss with him how it is for you and ask him how it is for him? And what he thinks/feels about it?

Meanwhile, I had a D&C after it was confirmed that there was no growth. It's still really hard, and my partner doesn't see it. For him, life just goes on as if nothing happened.
I did schedule a session with a psychologist, on the recommendation of the midwife. Hopefully, things will get better after that.