Biechthoekje
Argument with the father of my unborn daughter
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I don't know what to do, so here's my story.
My relationship with my boyfriend was just fine, no issues at all. Now, he was arrested 2 months ago and went to prison for 60 days. I visited him every day during that time, we called each other several times a day, I sent him cards telling him I missed him and how much I loved him.
He was supposed to be released last Sunday, but they let him go 2 days early. He didn't tell me anything, and then on Friday night I got a call telling me to look carefully because there was a photo of him with another girl. Because of this stress, I ended up in the hospital on Friday night (I'm 28 weeks pregnant) because I had such bad stomach pains. They informed him about this, and then I heard nothing from him. Now, today I casually get a message saying he wants to acknowledge our daughter, that he understands I'm angry but still wants to be there for me. You can understand that I'm thinking, what the hell, how does he dare? I did everything for you, our relationship was fine, and now you just show up with another girl. As you can understand, I feel completely screwed over. This must have been going on for a while, right? I don't want to see him, I don't want to talk to him. Is this really that strange? And is it really that strange that I don't want him to acknowledge our daughter at all right now? I did everything alone. I paid for everything for my daughter, all the furniture, painted the room. He didn't lift a finger. Now he's just casually drinking and partying since Friday, and now he thinks, oh wait, I still have someone carrying my daughter around. I'm so angry, so sad, that I don't know what to do.
My relationship with my boyfriend was just fine, no issues at all. Now, he was arrested 2 months ago and went to prison for 60 days. I visited him every day during that time, we called each other several times a day, I sent him cards telling him I missed him and how much I loved him.
He was supposed to be released last Sunday, but they let him go 2 days early. He didn't tell me anything, and then on Friday night I got a call telling me to look carefully because there was a photo of him with another girl. Because of this stress, I ended up in the hospital on Friday night (I'm 28 weeks pregnant) because I had such bad stomach pains. They informed him about this, and then I heard nothing from him. Now, today I casually get a message saying he wants to acknowledge our daughter, that he understands I'm angry but still wants to be there for me. You can understand that I'm thinking, what the hell, how does he dare? I did everything for you, our relationship was fine, and now you just show up with another girl. As you can understand, I feel completely screwed over. This must have been going on for a while, right? I don't want to see him, I don't want to talk to him. Is this really that strange? And is it really that strange that I don't want him to acknowledge our daughter at all right now? I did everything alone. I paid for everything for my daughter, all the furniture, painted the room. He didn't lift a finger. Now he's just casually drinking and partying since Friday, and now he thinks, oh wait, I still have someone carrying my daughter around. I'm so angry, so sad, that I don't know what to do.
Replies
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Anonymous Guest #2
Don't let him acknowledge or claim anything. Stay as far away from this guy as possible. -
Anonymous Guest #3
Doesn't sound like a responsible guy if he had to spend 60 days in jail. That's quite a record. Acknowledgment isn't necessary for child support, only if you want him to be the legal father in addition to the biological one. Then he'd also have custody rights over your child. Based on what you've written, I wouldn't choose that myself. -
Puck #4
That he's acting weird is a problem, but that he has to spend 60 days in jail, right? Okay....
It seems to me that your daughter doesn't need this man. -
Jo Guest #5
You can never say that. A child always needs their father! -
Anonymous Guest #6
Wow, what a stupid reaction saying that it should be just as bad for 60 days as if your man was cheating on you. Such stupidity. -
Anonymous Guest #7
Do you know what really happened? One thing is clear: if she knows her guy is cheating on her, that he’s in bed with someone else, but what you don’t know is why he had to sit in jail for 60 days. So what are you basing your assumption that it’s at least equally bad on? -
Puck #8
Generally, you don’t need to go to jail for sweaty feet.
You really have to do something serious in this country before you end up behind bars. It’s funny that there are people who think differently and find my response dumb. I can’t imagine people not seeing a 2-month prison sentence as a problem, but apparently, that’s just how it is for me. -
Kaja #9
Off-topic... I can understand some people's reactions regarding the prison sentence. You don't know what he was imprisoned for. It's true that you shouldn't just assume things, but it could easily be embezzlement or something similar, and that's not okay either. For clarity, though, I find cheating even worse than that. As said, you don't know why. But if I were the topic starter, I'd look at how the father treats the baby after birth. I understand your anger and frustration. No matter how bad he treats you, if he wants to be there for the child after birth and help out, I'd allow it on your terms, but that's just my opinion. Have you talked to him yet, or are you trying to talk about how you feel about everything? You mentioned he wants to be there. I'd also say actions speak louder than words.
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