Forum Nice chat

Every other day?

15 replies

MarjoooGuest ·
Hi! We're now in round 8, but unfortunately no success yet. Normally we'd have sex about twice a week, but not during my fertile week. I have two things I'm wondering about and would love your opinions. Sorry for the TMI, but everyone here wants to get pregnant
1-My HA says every other day is best. So we're being good and doing that, but is it really the best? I notice that when I'm not fertile and we do it every 3/4 days, there's much more of him coming out. Wouldn't that mean a better chance? Do you guys do it every other day around your egg or differently and why, on whose advice?
2-Because we normally have less sex, I notice that from the third time my boyfriend finds it a bit difficult. It works, but he feels less into it than in other weeks, you know. Do you relate to this and how do you handle it?
It's frustrating that after 8 rounds you start doubting everything, so sorry for these questions! Would love serious responses!! Just curious if it's like this for you too?

Replies

  1. Falca #2

    Having sex every other day during the fertile window is recommended because the man will have fresh sperm. A man is constantly producing new sperm, but if he hasn't ejaculated recently, the quality may be lower. By going every other day, you're prioritizing quality over quantity. The sperm is fresh and lively. Older sperm loses quality, and there are more dead ones mixed in; the volume might be higher, but it's not as useful. Plus, the amount of fluid doesn't necessarily indicate the number of healthy sperm.

    Commando sex can also be tricky. Ovulation tests can help by allowing you to time intercourse more accurately, hopefully leading to a quicker pregnancy and letting you return to regular, desire-driven sex. Talk about it, but try to avoid adding pressure.

  2. Marjooo started this #3

    Thanks for the quick reply! That about quantity and quality does sound logical, so every other day is probably the best? Do you also find that when you do it on demand, it goes worse for him after a couple of times? It's pretty tricky; if I tell him when my egg is, he feels the pressure, but if I tell him then we naturally have too little sex.

  3. liesje #4

    It worked out when we had sex for 6 days in a row during the most fertile days. We really wanted it, but I can give you a tip to mix things up: give each other a massage, shower together, or wear sexy lingerie. After those 6 days, we were pretty much done with it, and luckily it worked! I think even if it hadn't worked out, we would have continued every other day.

  4. Falca #5

    I didn't tell him when I was ovulating. I just tried to seduce him into having sex. If that didn't work, well, too bad. I did tell him regularly that if he wanted to become a dad, he'd have to put in some effort. Babies aren't brought by the stork
    We now have a healthy daughter and it doesn't matter as much to me anymore if another one comes along. But given that my husband doesn't have a particularly high libido either, I don't think it's going to happen anymore.

  5. floydi #6

    Hi there!
    Would you mind sharing that I'm convinced you're not doing anything wrong! It's really just a matter of luck. Sperm can live up to a week, so even if you only do it twice a week, it can still work out perfectly. We felt the same way back then—nature didn't really cooperate often, and it didn't get any easier just because we forced ourselves to do it. But well, you do it anyway because you want a baby. We tried every day, every other day, everything for 7 months, nothing happened. Then one month we were really fed up. You do your best, take everything into account, and still no result. I know some ladies wait literally forever, and 7 months isn't much, but it felt that way back then. In the 8th month, it happened once during the fertile week, about 4 days before my ovulation, and you guessed it, there's a healthy little girl crawling around here now. I thought, how on earth? We didn't do anything special, not even "enough" effort. Sometimes it really is just a matter of luck... unfortunately! Hope you get good results soon!

  6. Marjooo started this #7

    Oh my, when I read the replies I first thought: “we have to do this every day all week long” and then I read that it’s actually just pure coincidence! So just follow your gut, but thanks for all your experiences!

    The tips about lingerie and massages are good ones. Do you all always make time for sex during the fertile week, or is it often more just functional?

  7. Wendy Guest #8

    We’re mostly leaving it up to nature in the first year, and maybe talk to Ha about it after that. I do notice that I’m extra horny as my ovulation approaches, and there’s more moisture down under. So sex definitely happens for us! Does anyone else relate to this, or is everyone already using test kits?

  8. LoesJ #9

    Hi ladies,

    We were also being good and did it missionary every day because I had read that was best. But when it wasn't happening, we changed our approach. We ended up doing it 5 days in a row in the position my partner likes best (so he can finish better?). Sorry for the details haha, but that's when it finally worked!

    We had heard that rumor about my partner having really good sperm, which is why we felt comfortable trying for several days in a row.

    Good luck to everyone trying to conceive!

  9. Angelajj #10

    Hi Hi,

    Having sex every other day is indeed best for the sperm, but as mentioned above, it's really a matter of luck.
    I myself never got a positive test for 20 months. All tests came back normal, but it just wouldn't happen.
    Then last month, 3 days before my period (on Mother's Day!), I suddenly got a very clear positive test out of nowhere.

    This is what we did:
    April 26: sex
    April 27: nothing
    April 28: sex
    April 29: positive ovulation test
    April 30: positive ovulation test + sex
    May 1: sex
    May 2: sex.

    But I should also mention that we usually have sex often, and this month we had completely given up hope after such a long time.

    Regarding your second question.
    My fiancé also had too much pressure for a while. He wanted me to get pregnant so badly that sex eventually stopped working for him. But luckily he got over it quickly.
    My tip: turn each other on. Don't see it as a chore, but do it because it feels good.
    I've seen often enough that people only have sex on the day of a positive ovulation test, and that turned out to be enough.

    Stay positive! It will happen! We went through 21 cycles and I'm now 4w1d pregnant

  10. kruimel #11

    Oh well, it depends on so much more. We did it whenever we wanted during the (stimulated) cycle. Once it came to that, three days in a row. The day before ovulation, the day itself, and the day after. It helped that I knew when it was because I had to inject Pregnyl to induce ovulation.

    No exciting sex, but with some Pre-Seed/Conceive Plus lubricant, some manual work, in and out... hahahaha. That worked 3 times 2 daughters and 1 son.

  11. Wendy Guest #12

    That's so lovely, all those different stories and "approaches"!

    LoesJ; what was the method your partner found most comfortable? And congratulations on the pregnancy! How far along are you?

    Kruimel, was that three times in a row also a tip from the OB-GYN?

    AngelaJ, congratulations! Happen to be related to LoesJ? And did you still take special positions into account when the test was positive?

    By the way, are you still lying down?

  12. Angelajj #13

    @wendy, thanks. No, I don't think so

    We basically only did missionary and spooning.
    I also stayed lying down for another quarter of an hour with a pillow under my hips.

  13. kruimel #14

    That's right, Wendy, all 3 times on the recommendation of the gynecologists

  14. Wendy Guest #15

    How crazy that the OB-GYN then recommends doing chores every day while you often read that taking turns is better? Did she give any other tips?

  15. LoesJ #16

    @wendy, that was the one time I was on top, the other time it was doggystyle . Then I quickly lay on my back and stayed there for 20 minutes (with a cushion under my bottom).

    No family of AngelaJ, I guess haha!

    I'm now 11 weeks, super exciting

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