Forum Biechthoekje

Thoughts

27 replies · page 1 of 2

Angiie
I'm so ashamed of this.. I feel terrible.. my little girl is almost 8 weeks old.. because I have to do everything on my own during the week since my partner works for the military and sleeps at the barracks because it's two hours from our house, I'm completely exhausted. When she gets out of the bath, she screams and cries the whole time. I always wrap her up and dry her off piece by piece. But no matter what I do, I can't calm her down..
At one point, she screams and cries so loudly that I want to press her mouth shut and even give her a smack.. I don't do it because I can control myself..
I feel so ashamed of that thought.. I really feel like a terrible mother..

Replies

Page 1 of 2

  1. Amy #2

    You're NOT a bad mother!!!!
    I think you're just an exhausted mother. Do you have support from people around you who can help out? Ask for help! If needed, go to your GP or the child health clinic and explain what you're struggling with!
    Don't be afraid to ask for help if things aren't working out. Asking for help when you're overwhelmed doesn't make you a bad mother.

  2. Angiie started this #3

    My grandma lives just next door and she's already helping so much.. the little one is also sleeping through almost every night.. I just don't know anymore..

  3. Mama vanJ #4

    Hi, can I give you a tip? My maternity nurse gave me this one: bathe the baby around bottle time. Give half the bottle/breast before the bath. Then enjoy the bath, and after the bath, give the rest of the milk. I bottle-fed and kept that half warm by placing the bottle in a cup with just-boiled water. That worked perfectly. If I didn't do that, it was drama after the bath.

  4. Angiie started this #5

    That's a good tip. I'll try that next time. Normally, I'd give her a bath an hour after her bottle. Thanks for the tip!

  5. Hartje #6

    And if the bath is such a drama, don't do it every day. It doesn't hinder anything.

  6. Angiie started this #7

    I’ve been putting her in the bath every other day. On weekends, she always goes under the shower with papa. Then it’s never a drama haha

  7. Mama vanJ #8

    You're welcome for the tip! Hopefully it works just as well for you as it did for me.

  8. Amy #9

    Do you also shower with her? You can buy special long washcloths that have a bit more grip if you're worried it might get slippery. My second child often joined me in the shower from birth (filling and emptying the bath was quite a lot of work).

  9. Anonymous Guest #10

    Oh, that's so sad for you. I know exactly how you feel. I still have that, but not like you do. I just want to say... my son is almost a year old, and because I was extremely exhausted from the start of my labor and NEVER slept next to him again, simply because it didn't work out, I'm just as tired now as I was during my postpartum week.

  10. zwanger31W Guest #11

    Dearest. Ask for help!
    Don't be ashamed to ask for help because the shame that comes later, when you really do something silly, is still 1000x worse.
    We of course don't know your situation, but take a look at your social network. Friends? Family? Aunts?
    I am also a very proud woman and I always want to do everything myself. But I just hope that when I reach the end of my tether, I recognize this and ask for help. There is truly no shame in admitting that you can't do it alone for a while.
    Strength!

  11. Anonymous Guest #12

    I know about it, but I don't really believe you'd actually do that, but okay.

  12. Angiie started this #13

    We do have that long washcloth for a while now, but I find it quite nerve-wracking to shower with her alone.

    I'm still tired from before the birth. I had hard contractions for weeks beforehand, which meant I barely slept. And since then, I haven't been able to catch up on sleep either.

    I was honest today about how I'm feeling with my grandma and what's been going through my head. She offered to help more around the house and to look after the little one for two days a week, so I can get some extra sleep. The little one is almost always awake during the day, so it's really nice that grandma can step in like this.

    Thank you all, ladies, for these tips.

  13. Anonymous Guest #14

    I also found it scary at first to shower, but it's so much faster. You should just try it out, maybe with someone around at first. By the way, I used a hydrophilic cloth because I didn't have one of those washcloths. I did start showering after a few weeks though.

    That tip about drinking seems like a good one too. Good luck with it!

  14. Angiie started this #15

    I'm going to shower with the little one this weekend. My partner will be there. It mainly feels like a hassle once I'm done showering because I need to dry the baby off and dress her quickly, otherwise she'll get cold, obviously.
    But I'm still bleeding from the birth (I can only see the gynecologist next week), so I need to dry myself off first so I don't end up with blood all over the shower. How should I best handle this if I'm alone with her? I always wrap her up in a towel anyway.

  15. Hartje #16

    Make sure your shower is warm and you have everything ready. She probably can't roll over yet, otherwise you could always put her in a laundry basket. You shower, wrap her up nicely in a towel/cloths, give her a pacifier, whatever it is, and take care of yourself. Then you cuddle her, dry her off, and dress her. Your little one can really wait a little while. Even if she grumbles a bit, that's okay, but taking care of yourself is also important. You wouldn't, of course, do your makeup first, and if you really want to be quicker, you can just put on a diaper with gauze and a bathrobe.

  16. Angiie started this #17

    Oh, great! Thanks for the tips. I already feel much more relieved with your words and advice.

  17. Anonymous Guest #18

    You can also put a changing mat on the bathroom floor, lay out a bath cape, and wrap your baby up once you're done showering. Taking care of yourself is incredibly important; it makes you a happier mom! No matter how hard it gets....

  18. Anonymous Guest #19

    Yeah, I always make sure the bathroom and his room are warm. I lay out the changing mat and bath cape + big hydrophilic cloth (to dry off) + extra towel for keeping warm. Often I dry him off a bit, then myself. Put on my bathrobe and lift him (often with the changing mat on, he loves it) to the changing table and do the rest there.

  19. Angiie started this #20

    I followed all the tips, but it's still screaming after the bath/shower. Luckily, I was a bit more rested now and didn't have any weird thoughts.

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