Biechthoekje
I think my daughter is too chubby.
She did get breasts and hips quite early on, but it was all in good proportion.
But over the past year and a half, she's gained so much weight. I estimate it's around 20 kg.
I often try to talk to her about it, but then she just walks away and spends the night at her boyfriend's or a friend's place.
It seems to hardly bother her; in fact, it looks like she's never been happier.
My daughter suffered from anorexia for years, and it was really on the edge; otherwise, she wouldn't have been here anymore.
But when I see her now, I just think, how is it possible that you've become so fat?
And I feel ashamed of that thought, especially because things are finally going well for her.
Replies
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Selgomez #2
Is there a case of obesity? Is there a risk to her health? -
Anonymous Guest #3
Read your own post again. Your child is happy!!!!!! Isn't that what matters most right now?!?! Especially after anorexia.
Have the problems that led to her anorexia been resolved? I'd be very careful about bringing it up.
You think she's too fat, but she doesn't seem to care. Let it be.
I suspect there's a lot more going on for you. Once you bring it up, she'll start sleeping somewhere else.
What I'd do is let her know you want to talk, have an open and honest conversation. Express your concerns. And make it clear that you'll drop it after this talk. Let her know she can always come to you if she wants to talk about it. And then leave it at that. She's 17. -
Stef #4
How much weight did she gain? I had a friend who was 16 and pregnant, and she gained a whopping 30kg. She hid it all the time and of course didn't tell her parents either. She also hid it from us or from her boyfriend. Don't say your daughter is pregnant, eh
but it could be 
and just share an experience I've been through. -
Stef #5
But seriously now!!! Having anorexia and gaining 20kg seems to me like just having a healthy weight now! Maybe you should feel ashamed for her... -
Selgomez #6
As long as her health isn't at risk, I think it's highly irresponsible to do or say anything about it. It's also pretty clear where the concerns about her weight came from. Unfortunately... -
kruimel #7
People, don't take it so seriously.. this is probably yet another fake post.. Brabbels is full of them these days.
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Anne #8
I hope it's indeed a fake post! Better than a mother convincing her child she has an eating problem. -
Anonymous Guest #9
No, but overweight. -
Anonymous Guest #10
I meant from the moment she had a healthy weight again. She had stayed at the same weight (50 kg) for about two years, and then suddenly gained another 20 kg in a year and a half. -
Anonymous Guest #11
What do you mean by that?
My daughter gained 20 kg in a year and a half. It's strange that she now has excess weight after such a time, especially since she was on the brink of death. So I'm going to check if there's something more behind it... like an eating disorder or something.... -
Ikke Guest #12
Alright....here speaks the daughter who has been overweight for years. Whose mother once dared to say "soon 100 kilos, huh?" And you know what? I dare to say with pride that I, in my circle, stand as one of the strongest of them all! Stop thinking that all overweight people are unhappy, that they eat out of problems. I bet that you, with your perfect figure, are more insecure than your slightly overweight daughter.
If my mom had brought up my weight, it was always nagging. Me angry, her angry, days of cold war. Is that better? It doesn't help. Do you really think she'll lose weight because you always complain about it? Hahaha, definitely not. She'll lose weight when she wants to herself. When she decides this for herself.
My mom eventually gave up on it. Because she saw how happy I was in life. And look... I've lost almost 30 kilos. Not because of her... but because of myself. Because I wanted it!
Now I'm pregnant and she recently asked... "how's your weight?" I looked at her once "Mom, don't start" We both laughed and that was it. I love seeing my mom and I'm so glad she finally left me alone. I wouldn't want to know what kind of relationship we would have had if she had kept pursuing me with her weight-loss nagging. -
Joyce2018 #13
The only thing I want to say: be happy with how she feels, happy! 70 kilos is really not too heavy. -
Anonymous Guest #14
There's not really anything meaningful to say about this topic. The mother thinks her daughter is too chubby and wants our opinion... nice, but we can't really give one because there's no objective information. And even then, it's questionable whether we should even weigh in. But it's nice to hear that the girl is happy, that's what matters most. 70 kg doesn't have to be heavy at all if you're 1.70 or 1.80 m tall. In that case, 50 kg would even be too light. -
Janne Guest #15
This is truly bizarre. Please go to therapy yourself! How you deal with food, weight, emotions, and relaxation sets the example for how your daughter will handle it.
I myself have a long history of eating disorders, losing weight, gaining it back, and the same old story every time. I had orthorexia and BED. It's still a huge struggle; I'm currently at my heaviest weight ever.
And it was caused by my own mother and grandmother. I always got comments about my weight and eating habits, and it only made me insecure, hyper-focused on appearance, and caused me to gain even more weight. My mother was also always on a diet, even though she was never overweight. So, as a daughter, you learn that no matter what, you're never good enough. And indeed, even when I was at my slimmest, I was still depressed and had insecurities about my breasts, hair, and nose.
It's terrible and has left me marked for the rest of my life.
So take my advice: work on yourself, go to therapy yourself, and leave your daughter alone. Just support her and be kind to her. Be happy that she's still alive and that she's happy.
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