Forum Baby wish

Sister is pregnant

13 replies

BabyBoo
Since late 2017, my partner and I have been trying to get pregnant. So far, it hasn’t worked out. A few weeks ago, I found out that my sister is pregnant. I know I should be happy for her and that I’m going to be an aunt for the first time, but I just can’t. Every time I’m at my parents’ house and she’s there, the conversation is all about pregnancy. They share ultrasound pictures, talk about which baby clothes they’ve bought, and mention that the baby will get the bathtub we used to play in as kids. I did say at first that I’m finding it hard. Now I’m putting on a show every time and trying to react positively to what they share. But I leave with tears in my eyes, heading back home. When people around me were pregnant, I could brush it off, but now it’s so close to home that I find it really confronting. Are there others in a similar situation or who have been? I feel so stupid for not being able to be happy, but I’m falling apart inside...

Replies

  1. Verwijderd ! #2

    Hi hi ,

    I have exactly the same experience and I can relate to everything. The only difference is that my sister-in-law is pregnant. They already have a 2-year-old child. We've been going through fertility treatments for years, and before that, we tried on our own. So we've been trying for a really long time, and now we can only hope.
    And with her, everything seems to be going smoothly. Of course, you're happy for them, but you naturally want it even more for yourself.
    One day, you'll also have a beautiful baby growing in your belly. Stay strong, girl, and I'll do the same.

    Love

  2. Selgomez #3

    Hi,
    Totally relatable here. I’ve wanted kids since I was little, while my friends were talking about never wanting children... Two of them got unexpectedly pregnant in the last two years... (Also quite unwanted), and another friend had an abortion... At times like these, you don’t want to be angry, or let your emotions take control. But that’s easier said than done. Especially when you want this so much....

  3. Verwijderd ! #4

    Hi,

    Oh no, that's so sad. I always wanted that too. I always wanted kids at 23/24. But well, it's better that it never happened. Because now I've met the love of my life, and with my ex... I wouldn't have had a life.

    But now you really want it so much, yes, exactly like the people around you who never wanted kids, or supposedly weren't into it, or indeed had them aborted... ooh, you don't understand that if you yourself really want a little one. And preferably more than one.

    Where are you in the process right now?

    Love

  4. Selgomez #5

    I'm currently in my second-to-last round of Clomid... On 3/26, I have an appointment with my OB-GYN to find out if I'm going to step into the medical mill (if I'm not already in it, haha). We'll have to wait a little longer. I really wished it would have been natural...
    Where are you located?

  5. Verwijderd ! #6

    Hope it hits the mark for you/you all soon.
    We've already had 6 iuis, and were going to go for ivf now but had too few big eggs. So it became an escape iui.
    Can test tomorrow but just had a bit of brown discharge and now have cramps in waves.. so I think it failed again
    If that's the case, we'll have to wait for my next period so say we'll go for ivf again in late April (with a bit of luck).
    Really girl, I hope all this is spared for you and you'll soon have a nice test in your hands

  6. Selgomez #7

    Hey poppie,
    What exactly does that involve? I've heard a lot about IUI, but I don't really know what it entails, and we're going to talk about it with the gynecologist on 3/26. Exciting! Pfff, I find it tough for you... I know what kind of disappointment that is every time all over again. What does your doctor say about your situation? And your partner?
    I hope it'll be soon for you too...

  7. Verwijderd ! #8

    Oh, you're taking Clomid in your own cycle now?
    IUI is insemination, which can be done with or without hormones. We started with Clomid first and then moved to Gonal F (a hormone you have to inject).
    We're both healthy, and they couldn't give us a reason.
    I also had an ultrasound early on to check my fallopian tubes; one was a bit blocked, but they flushed it open.
    Then they sent us home for a few months because they couldn't find anything else wrong with us. After that, we started the IUIs.
    And what about you? When can you test?
    Love you, rooting for you too

  8. BabyBoo started this #9

    Thank you so much, sweetie, for the encouraging words! I’m trying to keep my spirits up, and to comfort myself, I got a kitten and an aquarium last year to bring some life into the house. My partner and I both got checked out, and everything looked fine. If it’s still not happening after a few months, I’ll go back to the GP for a referral. I’ll be 31 in May, and I’d be totally fine with becoming a mom in two years, for example. But I can feel the clock ticking, and you never know how long it’ll take. I’m really afraid of never having kids—it’s my worst nightmare.

  9. skybles #10

    You don't have to feel silly for being sad that someone else is pregnant. I also had a sister who got pregnant while we were just starting our own medical journey. I've never felt real jealousy in my life except then. Luckily it only lasted 10 minutes and then I could be really happy for her.

    I can totally understand that your sister talks a lot about the pregnancy. When we finally got pregnant after our 3 IUIs I was overjoyed and could only talk about nothing else ???? I think your sister can't help it.

    I hope you can give your sadness a place. Knowing that there's still a loooong way to go with all the possibilities in fertility. Really, hold on to hope and know that it will definitely work out someday. A year after my nephew was born, I held our son in my arms. A miracle, and definitely one that can happen to you too!

  10. Fabienne Guest #11

    hi girls!
    I can totally relate to your situation, BabyBoo. We've been trying for a while now too. My sister gave birth last year, and my two sisters-in-law are both pregnant now (within 2 months). I'm happy for them, but I also feel our sadness!
    When you want something so badly, every day of waiting feels too long.. I wish you all lots of success! X

  11. BabyBoo started this #12

    It’s incredible! But I’m pregnant too now!

  12. Macky #13

    Hi,

    I totally get it. We’ve been trying for a while now to conceive baby #2.
    My younger sister is 22 weeks pregnant with her first, and my older sister is 19 weeks pregnant with her second.
    It would be nice to be pregnant at the same time as them, but the chances are getting slimmer.
    Congratulations, Babyboo! Enjoy your pregnancy!

    Best, Macky

  13. Maria #14

    Babyboo, what a wonderful message that you're pregnant! Then you can both have the babies in the same bath later on, just like you and your sister did

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