Biechthoekje
Getting pregnant with an older partner
I'm 26 and my partner is 60. We've been in a stable relationship for a year. He already has two kids, but I'd really like to have one more. We decided yesterday to go for it!
He's not getting any younger, and we're worried it might not work anymore or be harder?
I've searched the whole internet, but apparently a man of 45 is already considered old when it comes to getting someone pregnant.
Anyone with experience or stories?
Greetings!
Replies
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Anonymous Guest #2
My opinion: don't do it. 60 is really too old; he might still be lively and vital now. In 15 years (if he's still around), he'll really have no interest in dealing with a teenager. And the teenager will definitely have no interest in having grandpa/dad home all day long. Read up on experiences online.
From age 45 onwards, sperm quality can start to decline. -
Anonymous Guest #3
We've both been talking about this for days and hours. We've all had our doubts too. But now we're sure of our choice.
I could be 35 and get paralyzed while driving a car (just to give an example), while he could be 80 and still jump out of a plane. And then later regret it?
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Anonymous Guest #4
Yeah, there are a lot of things like that. Still, I really recommend you read stories about large age gaps.
My husband is the youngest of 4, and there's a 12-year gap between him and the oldest. Both my husband and his dad found retirement and the teenage years really tough. His dad isn't even 80 yet. -
Katje1982 #5
Hi ladies,
He’s indeed quite a bit older. But I think you can still get pregnant just fine. My partner is almost 49 and is becoming a father for the first time too. If you’ve both thought it through carefully, I’d say go for it. That’s what we did too. -
Anonymous Guest #6
What a big age difference! How did you meet him? I always find it quite special. -
floydi #7
Honestly, I wonder how a 26-year-old girl can have a relationship with a 60-year-old man. That just doesn't seem sustainable or healthy to me. Do you have a healthy relationship with your parents yourself? Think about the future, especially your own and your baby's. Good luck with your choice. -
Anonymous Guest #8
I'm 26 too, and I don't even want to think about it—being that old already! -
Falca #9
If the topic starter is happy with her partner, why should the age difference matter? In my family, I have an aunt who is now in her second relationship after her first husband passed away. They had a 30-year age gap. She never had her own children because my uncle felt he was too old. On my husband's side, he has an uncle and aunt where the woman is 30 and the man is nearly 70. They have two children, with the eldest just starting secondary school. Although sperm quality may decline, a man can still impregnate a woman well into old age. Getting pregnant isn't really the issue, but how vital are you at an older age to do the things you want to do with your kids? My husband's uncle, for example, is quite fit and retired, so he has plenty of time for his children. But given his age, the risk that he won't live to see their 18th birthday is higher than if his wife were to pass away. But like everything in life, these are choices and considerations that you and your partner need to make together. -
Anonymous Guest #10
Why is it that a man can become a father at an older age, but a woman can't?
I find it selfish. -
Falca #11
It has nothing to do with selfishness. A woman simply can't get pregnant naturally at an older age due to menopause because she no longer has eggs. A man produces sperm his whole life, though the quality may decline. That's just how nature works. -
Anoniem Guest #12
hahaha; 60+ and then having sex with a 26-year-old girl every other day. If that also lasts on average a year, I hope he survives it! -
Anonymous Guest #13
Oh, there are plenty of women over 40 here who still want to and can get pregnant, and they get a lot of comments. Just like those in their early 20s.
I don't think it's fair to the child. And not to the man either. And the woman is probably very much on her own. With a bit of luck, she'll have to care for a child/teenager and a grandpa in diapers. -
Anonymous Guest #14
As for how I got to know him: through a friend, we started chatting and it just went from there...
Otherwise, I'm really happy with all the positive comments. We've thought about it very carefully!
Thanks! -
FiFi #15
Hey anon,
It's your choice whether you want to have a kid with a 60-year-old man or not. I have my opinion on it, and so do other ladies, but it's your life, and you have to make that decision
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My best friend was born when her dad was 66. Her mom was 33 at the time. So, a big age gap. They're still married. He's now 93 and she's turning 60 soon. My best friend is 27 now.
Her dad is super healthy for 93, apart from some age-related dementia. Her mom, on the other hand, has been battling cancer for 2 years and will probably pass away before her dad. So I think excuses like "you'll have to say goodbye to him sooner" are bullshit. The chance is indeed higher, but that doesn't always mean it'll happen.
My best friend herself did indeed have a tough childhood. Her dad was almost 80 when she started her teenage years. This caused quite a few problems, and she even stayed with me for a while because things weren't working out with her dad. As you get older, you can't handle all the hustle and bustle anymore, and teens naturally bring a lot of that. Just think about how we were.
She's also very lucky that her dad got to live so old. Most men only live to around 80, so she's already gotten more than 10 extra years.
Think it over really carefully, and definitely discuss it again. But anyway, it's your decision. Just keep all scenarios in mind and know exactly what you're getting into.
Good luck!
FiFi xx -
Anonymous Guest #16
What Fifi says. Seriously, take it with you.
Of course, the woman could still go into labor earlier. And if the father is also much older, pfff. -
Kat #17
Fifi (and others), you shouldn't take this too seriously. The first 4 posts in this topic are from the topic starter herself. (Wherever it just says "anonymous," it's the same person.) And she just opened another topic where she says her boyfriend is 50 and they already have a 3-year-old son together. So it's a completely different story... -
kirstnn #18
How bizarre, you're just having a conversation with yourself and how
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Betty #19
Haha, yeah, I only just noticed now
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Anonymous Guest #20
Don't want to sound too silly, but posts 1 and 3 are from me. Beertje. Probably because we're posting as guests, the little anonymous tag shows up.
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