Hesitant about having a second child

I think it's a personal choice. There's 2 years and 11 months between my son and daughter. Now I'm pregnant with my current partner, and there'll be more than 15 and 12 years between them, hihi. And my stepdaughter is 8. They're making it very conscious, but I always say go with your gut feeling. If it tickles, it's good, right? And if it takes a bit longer, at least you won't have such a big age gap.

I would definitely do it. We didn't want a long gap either, so we started right after the first one. No luck though. We've been trying for a second child for 4 years now So I say go for it!!

Oh, that's really tough for you, Tina. I can imagine how frustrating that must be. You should never... and I mean never, ever doubt yourself because you're afraid of what others think. Just live your life the way you want to. You're old enough for that.

On the other hand, you just gave birth. Your body needs about 9 months to recover properly. It’s not weird at all to get pregnant again after 14 months. And you’re only 22, so you don’t need to worry about fertility issues for the next 10 years. You might get pregnant again after 14 months, but it could also happen after just one month.

I totally understand your wish to have more children and not have too much age between them. My kid is also very easygoing and almost 6 months old. I’d love to have a second one, but I’ve decided to look into it next year (my age does play a role unfortunately, since I’m closer to 42 than to 22 :-)). This is also because of recovery reasons, and because I want to spend some time with the little one until their first year, hopefully with fewer broken nights (they do sleep through often). Having two kids so close together seems really tough to me. (Okay, I don’t have any help). But anyway, good luck with whatever you decide. I’d definitely ask a doctor for advice regarding a pregnancy soon after the previous one.

@Anoniem I think it's a bit easy to say she still has all the time. Theoretically that might be true, but please also understand that you don't want a huge age gap between the kids ;-)
I'm 23 myself and have been trying for our first baby for almost 2 years. I also get regular comments from people (who know we're trying) like "you still have all the time," "you're still young," etc. And maybe that's true, but it doesn't make our desire any less than that of an older woman. Unfortunately, it turned out that we can never conceive naturally, neither now nor in 10 years, so we're completely dependent on the hospital, which is quite frustrating. Especially when people make those kinds of remarks; they don't know what they're talking about.
Yes, we're still young (23 & 28), but we're ready and set ;-) We're getting married in 12 days, have a house with 4 bedrooms, stable jobs, and savings, so everything is in place for a little one
@Tulp if you're unsure yourself, I'd say wait a little bit longer, but don't let others influence you, even though that can be hard sometimes ;-) I think you're doing a great job with your child, and if you're ready (and your partner), then the second one will surely work out fine too

If you feel physically and mentally ready for it, and you're both ready together: what's holding you back?

One thing to keep in mind with two kids close together, depending on how your pregnancy went: if you get pregnant quickly, you'll have to lift a lot in the beginning because your baby won't be able to walk yet. She's probably still fairly still now, but once she starts crawling, creeping around, and taking her first steps, you'll have to constantly pick her up, take things away from her, put her down, etc. That can be quite exhausting (even without being pregnant).

That said: who says you'll get pregnant quickly (I hope you do!). And if that happens, you'll figure out your problems then too.

Go with what your heart tells you!

When I gave birth to my first daughter at 22 after a medical journey of 2 years to get pregnant, I immediately said, “I want another one, and soon!”

We then figured out the minimum age gap we ‘wanted’ between them and decided to go for it again, another hospital journey. That was when my daughter was 9 months old. And this time, it was the first attempt that worked! There’s now an 19-month gap between my two girls, and it’s busy but fun.. I was lucky that the oldest started walking super quickly, even climbing stairs etc., because that can be quite tough. The second pregnancy was also a lot heavier, and I think that had to do with the fact that I hadn’t fully ‘unpregnanted’ yet, but hey, I survived haha!

Who cares what others think, this is your life, your choice!

I’m now pregnant with number 3, and if everything goes well, there will be a 2.5-year gap between 2 and 3 (another hospital journey). It does have its perks; the oldest will be in school, and the second one will already be a bit more independent..

Good luck with your choice, and hopefully, you won’t have to wait so long for the next pregnancy!

Tulp, we have 2 kids fairly close together. They are now 22 months and 3 months old. I have to say it's really nice to have 2 closer together (18 months), but also quite challenging. The oldest is now in the "no" phase and trying everything. I'm lucky that the youngest is really very easy.
What I do find pleasant is that the oldest was already walking. Otherwise, it would get heavier, I think, if you had to lift 2 of them.
I wouldn't want anything else and would also like to have a 3rd one soon.
When it comes to age, don't worry if it feels right for you. People always have something to complain about. Try to let that go as much as possible, even if it's very difficult.

@Tulp thank you! I really hope we'll have it in September for our first ICSI I feel like we'll finally be able to do something (besides just waiting). I'm trying not to set my expectations too high, otherwise the disappointment will only be more intense, and unfortunately, we've already had a lot of disappointments in our lives But we're going to make the best of it First, we're getting married in 12 days, then going on a trip for 22 days (I'll start my injections on the last few days of the trip). It's all super exciting, but I'm also really looking forward to it I always find it annoying when people think they should meddle in E's business and judge without knowing what they're talking about ;-) Just follow your heart, Meis And unfortunately, you can't plan how long (hopefully short) it'll take until you're pregnant ;-) (We also would've loved to have a baby at the wedding, but we had 2 years and still didn't succeed.) But I'm sure everything will work out fine And the upside is that thanks to your age, you'll recover faster Good luck!

I'm in a huge dilemma. My daughter will be 7 in September; we've been together for 9 years and married for 1. I used to swear I'd never have a second child if my partner wasn't fully on board. Lately, though, I've been thinking about it more and we've talked about it a few times. I feel ready to go for a second, but the doubts keep coming. Can we handle this as a couple? Finances, the chaos, adjustments... We think we can, but I keep doubting, and it's driving me crazy. My daughter is all for it, and my partner is convinced we should go for a second. I'm afraid I'll make the decision and then regret it. Also, my first birth was a C-section, and it wasn't a great experience. Maybe that's what's holding me back? Tips and tricks are welcome!