Forum Nice chat

Sadness....

3 replies

lena
Hey ladies..
I'm dealing with a problem and a lot of sadness
Got married at 19 and became proud mom of Skye at 20. At 25, proud mom of Storm..
At 26, I fell into a black hole.. Skye was only 6 and Storm was just 5 months old.. I had to go to the police station... My partner of 7 years had a serious accident and unfortunately passed away My whole world collapsed....
Now it's been 7 years, and Storm wants to go to his dad... I've explained to him many times that this sadly isn't possible anymore because something happened to their dad But he can't grasp it very well and wants to go to his dad... But how do I explain to an 8-year-old that his dad had a serious accident when he was 5 months old and is no longer alive …. My heart is breaking
He sees my new partner (who I've been married to for 5 months now) as his new dad but knows it can't be his dad (He is Turkish) and my kids are half Bosnian half Polish..

Who can help me with this...

Replies

  1. Dorien Guest #2

    I can't give you any tips, unfortunately. I really wish you lots of strength!! It's absolutely awful that you're going through this..

  2. Anonymous Guest #3

    That's just awful that you had to go through this.
    Did your husband get buried or cremated back then (maybe scattered or interred later)? Otherwise, you could maybe go there to make it a bit more tangible for your child. Then you'd have a place to go. You could also make a little ritual there, like a flower, a written letter with a message for papa, or lighting a candle.
    Another option is to tell him that papa is in heaven or among the stars (whatever feels right for you) that he can't visit but can, for example, send a message to papa with a helium balloon. And that papa will always love him and therefore watches over him from above or something like that.
    There are also picture books for young children about the death of a loved one, maybe that helps make the concept of being dead clearer.
    It'll be tough anyway, and I can imagine you want to protect him from this grief, but if he thinks he can go to his father, it's also very frustrating for him if no one wants to take him there. It would be even worse if he gets wild ideas because of that, thinking his father wouldn't want him or wouldn't love him. You never know what's going on in such a little head.

  3. lena started this #4

    He was buried in the meantime.. The only problem is that we live 45 minutes away from the cemetery..
    He knows that I really wanted him to go to his father... (if he were still alive) but it just doesn't work out

Add your reply

Share what helped you, or ask a question.

Sign in to join the conversation.

Continue with Google

Takes a moment. You’ll come straight back here to reply.