Baby wish
My boyfriend is slowly driving me crazy.
JlGuest ·
Hi everyone.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years.
After 2 years, I knew I really wanted a child with him.
He keeps hesitating and putting it off.
I'm 31 now and he's 35.
He goes crazy over every baby he sees and always brings it up to me, saying how cute they are.
And when I ask if he wants one of his own now, he says he doesn't know.
I've been off the pill for 2 months now, told him, and left a box of condoms on his nightstand.
So far, none have been used. But when I ask him if he wants one now, he says he doesn't know.
It's so frustrating.
Sometimes he jokes that if it's a boy, he'll sell the baby (sorry, that's our humor), and other times he makes it clear he doesn't know.
What should I do?
Is he just scared and doesn't want to make a decision?
I'm starting to get scared that it might happen and he won't want it then.
But there are condoms there, so he can choose to take no risk.
Should I go back on the pill until he really wants it? But I'm already 31.
Best, Jessy, who's slowly going crazy????
My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years.
After 2 years, I knew I really wanted a child with him.
He keeps hesitating and putting it off.
I'm 31 now and he's 35.
He goes crazy over every baby he sees and always brings it up to me, saying how cute they are.
And when I ask if he wants one of his own now, he says he doesn't know.
I've been off the pill for 2 months now, told him, and left a box of condoms on his nightstand.
So far, none have been used. But when I ask him if he wants one now, he says he doesn't know.
It's so frustrating.
Sometimes he jokes that if it's a boy, he'll sell the baby (sorry, that's our humor), and other times he makes it clear he doesn't know.
What should I do?
Is he just scared and doesn't want to make a decision?
I'm starting to get scared that it might happen and he won't want it then.
But there are condoms there, so he can choose to take no risk.
Should I go back on the pill until he really wants it? But I'm already 31.
Best, Jessy, who's slowly going crazy????
Replies
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Meid22 Guest #2
@Jessy sounds like a tough situation you're in. I've never been in it myself, so I don't know exactly how it would feel, but I do have a desire for a child (my partner does too, and we've been trying for almost 2 years now, unfortunately without results).
You're right that he might choose the safe option, but I can imagine he doesn't want to hurt you either, which is why maybe he doesn't use it?
I know you can't force someone to be ready for it; no one knows better than the person themselves, and some people are ready sooner than others.
I completely understand that you'd like to have a baby as soon as possible due to your age, though I don't think 31 is really old yet (a colleague had her first child at 38 and the second at 41). I get that you'd prefer to do it sooner because you feel ready.
It might sound harsh, but if I were you, I'd think about what you'd do if you got pregnant and he didn't want it—whether you'd keep the baby (maybe hoping he changes his mind later) or choose to terminate it for him ;-)
Personally, I also find jokes about having a son quite weird. I wouldn't really laugh at them, partly because we've been hoping for a baby for almost 2 years and we'd be happy with anything ;-)
Imagine you get pregnant, and at the 20-week scan it turns out to be a girl. What if he's not happy about that? What would you do then?
I think you'd be best off taking some time to think it over and maybe discussing it with him again about how he feels ;-) -
Jl started this #3
Hi there!
That joke comes mostly because in the past two years, only girls have been born in our family and friend circle.
An abortion is definitely not coming up.
Half a year ago, I was extremely nauseous in the mornings. Then he asked me if it was time already. I told him that couldn't be because I had taken my pill every day.
And I told him that if it were so, there would always be a solution.
To which he immediately replied that that wasn't an option and that the baby would simply be welcome.
Sometimes I really don't know anymore.
Could it just be cold water fear?
And I completely understand your reaction to that joke. WOOs sometimes just have weird humor and that wasn't meant in any bad way. -
Anonymous Guest #4
When I read it like this, it does seem like cold water fear. If he was really against it, he would have taken action by now, I think. Some men are only ready when the baby is in their arms.
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