Biechthoekje
Hesitant about having a third baby
Onzekere mama
Hi everyone,
Here’s mom of 2 girls (2 and 3 years old). They’re exactly 9 months apart, due to the premature birth of the second (30+2).
After my partner’s sterilization, I got pregnant anyway. After holding a positive test in my hands, I was secretly happy!
Had to tell my partner over the phone; he’s always away for work for 6 weeks and home for 6 weeks. He was quite shocked! Due to the conscious choice for sterilization. I immediately told him this was a gift!
But my partner has strong arguments to terminate the pregnancy. Like: we’re already complete with two kids and a dog. It doesn’t fit in the car, financially, hard to arrange babysitting for an overnight trip, my pelvic instability, and fear of PND (which I got after the second due to prematurity).
Yes, indeed, in many things he said, I can really agree with him. But where two can eat, the third doesn’t make a difference. Maybe later with studies. And my pelvis is already giving me more trouble, and I’m only 4 weeks pregnant. Also, I’ll be alone for 6 weeks, and it’s already pretty tough! I work just 1 day a week for distraction.
But I’ve always said no to abortion. Yes, it might fit now and. Measuring is measuring with a third. But we’re not the only ones, right?
If we carry the pregnancy to term, I’m afraid of big consequences due to my pelvis.
If we terminate the pregnancy, I’m really afraid of regret.
Anyone who can help?
Here’s mom of 2 girls (2 and 3 years old). They’re exactly 9 months apart, due to the premature birth of the second (30+2).
After my partner’s sterilization, I got pregnant anyway. After holding a positive test in my hands, I was secretly happy!
Had to tell my partner over the phone; he’s always away for work for 6 weeks and home for 6 weeks. He was quite shocked! Due to the conscious choice for sterilization. I immediately told him this was a gift!
But my partner has strong arguments to terminate the pregnancy. Like: we’re already complete with two kids and a dog. It doesn’t fit in the car, financially, hard to arrange babysitting for an overnight trip, my pelvic instability, and fear of PND (which I got after the second due to prematurity).
Yes, indeed, in many things he said, I can really agree with him. But where two can eat, the third doesn’t make a difference. Maybe later with studies. And my pelvis is already giving me more trouble, and I’m only 4 weeks pregnant. Also, I’ll be alone for 6 weeks, and it’s already pretty tough! I work just 1 day a week for distraction.
But I’ve always said no to abortion. Yes, it might fit now and. Measuring is measuring with a third. But we’re not the only ones, right?
If we carry the pregnancy to term, I’m afraid of big consequences due to my pelvis.
If we terminate the pregnancy, I’m really afraid of regret.
Anyone who can help?
Replies
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Anonymous Guest #2
I think you'll always regret it if you end the pregnancy for these reasons. There's always a way to work things out, right? And yes, you have to get through it—it's not easy—but you'll get a little miracle in return! -
Onzekere mama started this #3
Thanks for the reply!! I'm also scared of that! Only my partner thinks differently.
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Hartje #4
We got the third one here, in connection with the twin pregnancy. Only then do you really realize that abortion stops a life, because which life would you have to stop? The smallest or the biggest? The noisiest or the quietest?
But for you it will be a tough pregnancy, I believe that too. Is it still possible to arrange (more) help?
If you read about the grief of the ladies whose hearts stopped in the past weeks (miscarriage), then I think that is not an option.
I wish you lots of success, and our house is now upside down (but only 2 bedrooms), but it will surely work out! It's tough, but will I even remember that in a year's time? -
Onzekere mama started this #5
Super fun, but also quite spicy with twins!
I just think it's important that my partner and I are on the same page!
As for help... yeah, the grandmas also have their own lives! They'll surely help out more, but for them, this is also very busy!
Sometimes they find it tiring just to babysit two kids, let alone three.
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