Biechthoekje
Cravings
DomoorGuest ·
Hi everyone,
I need to get something off my chest.
I gave birth to a beautiful, healthy daughter last March. Unfortunately, the father left me halfway through the pregnancy and I haven't heard from him since. For the past 4 months, I've had a lovely friend who gets along really well with my daughter and is already like a real father to her, taking care of her when I'm busy. I have my own business and do most of it myself, so you can imagine how hectic it is with the business and the baby.
With all this in mind, I know very well that getting pregnant right now is anything but smart. 1) young child, not even a year old yet 2) own business 3) relationship of only 4 months.
And yet... I still have that desire for a pregnancy. After giving birth, I didn't go back on the pill, partly because it wasn't needed at the time. My cycle isn't very regular, so it has happened that I was "overdue." It turned out there was nothing wrong and my ovulation was just a bit later than the handy app I use predicted. But I have to be honest and admit that I feel a slight disappointment when the tests are negative and after days of waiting and secretly testing, my period finally starts.
And then I'm angry and disappointed in myself. Angry because I know better and fully understand that now is not the right time, and at the same time disappointed that the tests are negative.
I need to get something off my chest.
I gave birth to a beautiful, healthy daughter last March. Unfortunately, the father left me halfway through the pregnancy and I haven't heard from him since. For the past 4 months, I've had a lovely friend who gets along really well with my daughter and is already like a real father to her, taking care of her when I'm busy. I have my own business and do most of it myself, so you can imagine how hectic it is with the business and the baby.
With all this in mind, I know very well that getting pregnant right now is anything but smart. 1) young child, not even a year old yet 2) own business 3) relationship of only 4 months.
And yet... I still have that desire for a pregnancy. After giving birth, I didn't go back on the pill, partly because it wasn't needed at the time. My cycle isn't very regular, so it has happened that I was "overdue." It turned out there was nothing wrong and my ovulation was just a bit later than the handy app I use predicted. But I have to be honest and admit that I feel a slight disappointment when the tests are negative and after days of waiting and secretly testing, my period finally starts.
And then I'm angry and disappointed in myself. Angry because I know better and fully understand that now is not the right time, and at the same time disappointed that the tests are negative.
Replies
-
Hartje #2
How does your partner feel about it? -
Anonymous Guest #3
I would have waited a bit longer myself. Your baby is still less than a year old and your relationship is still new. You can never know for sure if you’ll stay together forever. But you do have a responsibility to your child. In my opinion, four months is a bit short to decide whether you’re meant to be together, especially with a baby involved. I’d usually wait a year; by then, the “rose-tinted glasses” have usually worn off, and if you still like each other, you can start thinking more seriously about the future. -
Domoor started this #4
My boyfriend wants kids, but thinks it's a bit too early right now, which I totally get. Despite that, we often have unprotected sex. There are condoms, but they're more often not used than used. I'm not actively trying to get pregnant, but I'm not doing my best to prevent it either.
I agree with the above, and I have to sometimes really try to keep my head in the game, but this is sometimes difficult. -
Anonymous Guest #5
You're both responsible when it comes to contraception. Whether you use the pill, a condom, an IUD, or something else. You'll either need to choose something that works for you both or accept the risk of pregnancy. This applies to both you and your boyfriend.
Add your reply
Share what helped you, or ask a question.
Sign in to join the conversation.
Continue with GoogleTakes a moment. You’ll come straight back here to reply.