Forum Nice chat

So much fear

8 replies

Famke31Guest ·
Hi everyone,
I'm now 17 weeks pregnant, 31 years old, and living with a muscle disease called MDC. I can't stand or walk, I struggle to lift my arms, and I'm very dependent on care. I wasn't planning on getting pregnant, but apparently, the pill isn't working optimally.

My family has completely abandoned me because they don't approve of my relationship and don't see it working out well with the little girl. We've known for a few days that it's a girl. I don't think clearly; I wouldn't be able to take good care of my child, and they don't trust my partner. But they're also not there for me now, in terms of supporting me or helping think of solutions. My little brother doesn't even want to visit anymore! I have faith, but the family watches with clenched buttocks and really doesn't want to know anything about it.

I'd love to enjoy my pregnancy, but I don't even dare anymore... The baby moves a lot in my belly, but then I quickly think... Oh, those are just my intestines. Have you also experienced that many people don't support your decision?

Replies

  1. Anoniem Guest #2

    That's awful that your family is letting you down. I'd talk to them and tell them how this is affecting you. I'm really sorry they're treating you like this. Why can't they accept your partner? Even if they don't like him, they should still support you. If they don't, I'd keep my distance. Right now, you should be enjoying your pregnancy. It might get tough once the baby arrives, especially with a muscle disease. But the most important thing a child needs is help. And you can always bring in outside help if needed.

  2. Anoniem Guest #3

    Meaning that the most important thing a child needs is love.

  3. Famke31 started this #4

    My mom also said... what can you offer a child?? (thanks mom) I'm also really scared that my body won't be able to handle it... A lot has happened between me and my boyfriend, that someone stepped in to ensure safety at home. Yeah, I don't see that as a problem, I'll just do everything I can and make sure that what a child will need in the future is taken care of. Think about help from third parties, in terms of taking care of the baby... My boyfriend says he can handle everything on his own, but I'm not willing to take that risk and want to show everyone that I'm not just doing anything lightly! I've even made an appointment at an adoption agency, because suppose my family is right and everything goes wrong... I don't want my child to suffer because of arguments, lack of proper care or other circumstances. My relationship isn't exactly optimal either, but we're going to talk to someone about that soon.

    That way, the adoption agency knows my story and I don't have to worry about everything going wrong and having to sort out so much. Of course, I really want to do this with my boyfriend, but the little one comes first and as painful as it is... If it can't work out with us, then maybe with other parents who have wanted a child for years.

  4. Lena #5

    Oh wow, that sounds really tough! As for your physical condition; the most important thing a baby needs is attention and love. And that's something you can definitely provide. There are also support agencies out there for a reason that can help with physical care.

    When I hear you, you're being quite realistic about your own situation, so I don't understand why your family is being so silly. Of course, they're allowed to have an opinion about your boyfriend, and reading between the lines, it doesn't seem entirely unfounded, but still, they should be supporting you. Instead of offering help themselves, they're just telling you that the baby would be better off with someone else.
    This situation is really difficult. But as I read it, the baby comes first, so it'll work out in the end!
    I hope your family comes around, and if they don't, believe in yourself anyway.

  5. Saar Guest #6

    I have no experience with this, but I want to wish you strength! It seems really hard to me if your family is acting like that! I hope you'll be able to enjoy the miracle growing inside you more soon!

  6. Anonymous #7

    Super sad that your family is letting you down right now . Hopefully they'll come around once the baby is here...
    I think it's really super brave of you to put your baby first and even consider adoption if it doesn't work out.
    Wishing you lots of strength and hope you can enjoy your pregnancy.
    Greetings,
    Nathalie
    www.littlejack.be

  7. Famke31 started this #8

    Thanks for the supportive replies!

  8. Famke31 started this #9

    Today was really awful, hot and cold... palpitations and I'm restless. Because of the palpitations, I get worried again, which makes me feel panicked. I'm 18 weeks pregnant now and so anxious that something will go wrong, even more panic! If I call a doctor now, I think I should go straight to the hospital because I have a weak body. But I think it's purely the panic right now, it's driving me crazy! Do you recognize this? Panic?

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