Forum Biechthoekje

I think it's not my child.

15 replies

AnonymousGuest ·
My wife and I have 6 girls and 1 boy together: J (22), M and S (20), R (17), G (14), E (10) and U (7).

I'm just afraid that R isn't my child. She's the only one with blonde hair and blue eyes, light skin, 178 cm tall, and very slim, while my other kids are quite petite, curvier, with dark brown hair, dark eyes, and a slightly tanned complexion. They definitely don't look 100% Dutch either, but R looks 100% Dutch.

My wife herself has green/blue-ish eyes and light hair (but not blonde, more light brown), so I genuinely wonder how R got blonde hair since no one in either family has blonde hair...

I've also been asked many times if R is really my child.

What do you think? Is there a chance she's not my daughter, and should I confront my wife about this?

Replies

  1. Anonymous Guest #2

    Do you have any reason besides looks to think R isn't your child? Do you suspect your wife cheated or there was a medical mix-up? Do you not trust her completely? Only then would I bring it up. I understand it's striking that your daughter is the only one who doesn't look like the rest, but looks can be quite unpredictable. They look exactly like one parent and the next like the other, or they're so mixed that you barely recognize either parent. Sometimes a child also has a (striking) trait from an ancestor. Facial features can also appear that none of the family members have, because by chance a certain combination forms, causing recessive genes to express themselves. Plus, a lot can change over time; I myself was very blonde for a long time, even platinum blonde as a kid, but my hair is now truly brown and keeps getting darker. Does she resemble you both, apart from eye and hair color? Pay attention to the shape of the face, nose, or mouth, or the shape of hands and feet, for example? Do baby photos of the kids perhaps look alike or like yours? Maybe you're letting hair color and such distract you too much, and she looks more like the others and you than you think.

  2. ---- #3

    Just because she's blonde with blue eyes doesn't necessarily mean she's not your daughter. I have acquaintances who are both dark-haired with dark eyes but have a blonde son with blue eyes. There are always exceptions, and especially since your wife herself has light eyes and isn't really dark-haired, I wouldn't doubt it personally!

  3. AJ #4

    Indeed, the fact that she's blonde and has blue eyes doesn't mean anything! I have 4 daughters, and 3 of them have (dark brown) hair and dark eyes, while the other has light eyes with light blonde/light brown hair. Furthermore, my daughters don't resemble each other in character or build, but they are all my (and my husband's) daughters.

  4. Hartje #5

    Indeed, it doesn't have to be that way appearance-wise. My son has blue eyes, and we both have brown. I was really looking forward to a brown-eyed child but it's definitely our son! When you bring up these things, you stir up a lot of trouble, I think, is it worth it to you? You've been a father to your child for so long, whether you really are or not... But that feeling is really unpleasant, I can imagine.

  5. Hartje #6

    There’s even a twin set with dark-skinned parents, one dark, one fair. Monozygotic!

  6. Evangely #7

    Have you considered getting a test done? Then you'll know for sure and won't have to feel gross and uncertain anymore.

  7. Yvonne1975 #8

    My sister is about 155 cm and I'm 1.70. She's dark, with dark hair and eyes and a lightly tinted skin, and I'm blonde with blue eyes. Still, we're 100% the same blood.

  8. Maranne #9

    I’d definitely want to be sure first, before I bring it up with my partner. When trust is damaged, it can sometimes be hard to rebuild. My advice: take a paternity test, and only confront your partner if your suspicions turn out to be true.

  9. Red_tears #10

    Eye color is related to genetics. I learned this back in biology class. Brown is often dominant. Two brown-eyed parents can have a blue-eyed child.

    Let's say dad has brown eyes (this can be indicated as BB or Bb)
    Mom has brown eyes (so BB or Bb)
    The child can then be (BB ? brown-eyed, Bb ? brown-eyed or bb ? blue-eyed or light-colored)

    Let's say dad is brown-eyed (BB or Bb)
    Mom is blue-eyed (bb)
    The child is then Bb ? brown-eyed or bb ? blue-eyed

    I did learn that two blue-eyed parents (let's really talk about blue eyes here) can never have a brown-eyed child. Since brown (B) is dominant over blue (b).
    So blue-eyed dad (bb)
    Blue-eyed mom (bb)
    Child is bb

    I don't remember exactly how it works with green and gray eyes.

    So yes, your daughter could be yours.

  10. Red_tears #11

    The previous post is from me. Those question marks are arrows.

  11. Angiie #12

    I'm really curious how this actually turned out.

  12. Proudmommy #13

    I'm curious too.. how is your situation now?

  13. Hartje #14

    If I remember correctly, this post is from 11-2017, so it's over a year old.

  14. Anonymous Guest #15

    Annoying that no one's replying anymore, hehe

  15. Angiie #16

    Yeah, indeed, hahaha. Maarja didn't realize the post was so old. That's hard to see on Brabbels. Only the day and month are shown, not the year.

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