Forum Nice chat

Big family

8 replies

Nika
Hi ladies,
I'm a mom of 4 kids. Actually, I was completely done with my family. Three beautiful boys and the last one was supposed to be a little gift—a girl—but now I'm unexpectedly pregnant with the 5th. Although I really didn't want this, I've decided to go for it. I just find it hard to be truly happy about it yet. It's still quite early, almost 8 weeks, so I haven't told anyone really. I'm already 37 and my oldest is 13!
Are there more ladies with a large family? Help me out a bit and show me the benefits and fun sides of having a 5th child????
Love, Nika

Replies

  1. Anoniem Guest #2

    Hi

    First of all, congratulations on your pregnancy!
    I can imagine it's a shock, but I think you just need to give it some time to sink in. Try to see it as a gift that is simply "meant to be"!
    I have 3 brothers myself and I think it's amazing and I'm so grateful to be part of a big family. Maybe it'll be a shock and take some getting used to for the kids at first, but I'm sure they'll love it too! In my opinion, your age isn't a problem. I know people who are still trying to get pregnant at your age and hope that this blessing will be granted to them one day.
    And you don't have to tell anyone until you're ready yourself.

  2. Anonymous Guest #3

    Nika, congratulations on your pregnancy! How do you think your youngest children will feel about having a brother or sister? It must be exciting, right? Maybe your oldest will need some time to adjust, but you're still pregnant for now. Maybe it's fun to involve the whole family in the preparations? You can still enjoy this last pregnancy!

  3. Hummeltje #4

    Hi! I'm pregnant with my 4th myself, and the idea was also a big adjustment for me. My husband really wanted it, but before that, I was fine with things as they were. But I went for it too, though all I could think of were the downsides back then. My oldest is 10, turning 11 shortly after the little one is born, but she actually loves it and is very involved! The benefits.. a big family! A big family where everyone hopefully can support each other in tough times. And especially when you're no longer around! More love that you get back. (what do you think of more help around the house haha) coziness and warmth! The bigger the family, the cozier it gets. Kids usually find it really nice when there's life and activity in the house! It's just a big adjustment to the idea, and you're probably really struggling with the pregnancy right now (I was too), but now, after the beautiful scans and some nice shopping in good weather, I'm really happy with my choice. And I can't wait to hold him/her in my arms! Give it some time, it's not just anything, it's a significant change where you, in particular, have to give up a lot. Good luck!

  4. Nika started this #5

    Thanks for the replies. I think it’s mostly really hard for me because I really closed off everything consciously during my last pregnancy. I enjoyed every little bit of it, made a plaster belly, did belly painting, had a photoshoot, etc. And now it’s starting all over again. On the other hand, my youngest isn’t even 2 yet, and in a little while there’ll be about 2.5 years between the youngest and the next one. So I’m still in the young kids phase. I normally find pregnancy something beautiful, but given how this one started, I’m afraid it’s going to be quite tough. Plus, we’re not exactly financially comfortable either. Although I know we’ll manage and don’t place much value on material things, I’m (how silly that is) scared of my circle’s reactions.

    Sigh... It’ll probably be fine again, but unfortunately the joy with which I welcomed the pregnancy last time isn’t there now. (Although I’ll admit I’m secretly looking forward to having another tiny cute little fishy ????)

  5. mona #6

    Hi Nika,

    I'm pregnant again with my fourth child. I'm 25 weeks now, but I have to say, everything still goes on, of course—school, appointments, sports, etc... I've always been quite busy by nature, and I actually like it that way. But I have to admit that I'm often reminded that I really get tired in the afternoons and need to rest for a bit.

    You have less time to truly enjoy the moment, if you know what I mean, hehe. Relatable?

  6. Nika started this #7

    Hi Mona (late reply but better late than never),
    Yesss, so relatable. I’m also a very active person, but every pregnancy since my second one seems to get heavier. With my second, I studied full-time until week 37 and even stood with a little one on my shoulders at the Sinterklaas parade the day before my delivery (at 41 weeks). But with my fourth, I really had to take an hour-long nap every afternoon starting from week 20. And now... Pffff, at 10 weeks I’m already napping for 3 hours every afternoon, and I’m completely useless the rest of the day. It’s really annoying because the kids don’t know anything yet and don’t understand why mom is so tired.
    Well, just listen to my body and it’ll be fine again.
    Love

  7. Merel #8

    Sounds super fun, a big family, I say!!

  8. mona #9

    Hi Nika,

    Sorry for the late reply! Hihi, but busy, busy—you know how it is.

    Yeah, I'm now 26 weeks and so far, it's going pretty well. ... There are days when my energy is literally drained, which also depends on whether I sleep well at night. If I do, I can handle things better during the day I have co-parenting, so when the kids aren't with me during the week, it's nice to finally get some rest!

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