Baby wish
Our big dream..
Bdb
We are Jef and Kevin, a young couple (31 & 29), together for 14 years, married for 10, with a big desire for children. About 5 years ago, it started in our circle of friends, brothers, sisters... The big baby boom. We were then fully busy with starting our own business and our renovation, but we were aware that we really had to wait until we were ready. Our outings with friends have then also been adjusted to the children, which made the desire grow even bigger.
Last year, we have considered everything and it has almost become a daily routine to find more information. Adoption is still not easy for a gay couple and takes a very long time, so our preference also goes to a surrogate mother.
Finding a surrogate mother seems not very difficult at first, many friends want to do this, but when it becomes concrete, the partner does not want to participate, is afraid of the reaction of their own children, too old, ... And all of this is certainly justified.
In our further search, we have also come across mothers who urgently need financial means, drug users, other addictions, ...
However much we want this, this should not just happen for our own benefit or that of the surrogate mother. And we are really looking for someone who means it sincerely and also wants to go through all the procedures.
All tips and advice are welcome here. We have time, patience, ... But we have already received enough criticism.
Thanks in advance!
Last year, we have considered everything and it has almost become a daily routine to find more information. Adoption is still not easy for a gay couple and takes a very long time, so our preference also goes to a surrogate mother.
Finding a surrogate mother seems not very difficult at first, many friends want to do this, but when it becomes concrete, the partner does not want to participate, is afraid of the reaction of their own children, too old, ... And all of this is certainly justified.
In our further search, we have also come across mothers who urgently need financial means, drug users, other addictions, ...
However much we want this, this should not just happen for our own benefit or that of the surrogate mother. And we are really looking for someone who means it sincerely and also wants to go through all the procedures.
All tips and advice are welcome here. We have time, patience, ... But we have already received enough criticism.
Thanks in advance!
Replies
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Ster #2
Hey guys,
I've seen requests for surrogates here before, and as far as I can tell, it's not easy to find one. It's a huge sacrifice that's being asked. I also know from research (I wanted to adopt myself) that this path isn't exactly straightforward either. Especially if you want a 'healthy' baby. Kids with special needs are easier to get, but then again, is that something you can handle and dare to do? Personally, I couldn't. Just the idea makes me afraid of losing them. I've heard a lot about lesbian and gay couples sharing children through co-parenting. Have you thought about that? Or becoming foster parents? If you don't do crisis care, they stay with you for the rest of their childhood. I know there's a lot of demand for foster parents; maybe that's an option. Good luck, and I hope your wish comes true in any way possible. -
An1990 Guest #3
Hello Jef and Kevin,
Unfortunately, I can't give you any advice because I wouldn't have a clue how to handle this myself.
I just want to give you a little encouragement! I can imagine that the challenges with your child are just as big for you as they would be for a couple consisting of a man and a woman. I also hope that a solution will present itself for you and that you'll eventually get to enjoy your own little child!
Best wishes,
An
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