Forum Biechthoekje

whether to go ahead or not

7 replies

Natasja
My partner and I have been trying to conceive for over 4 years now, and unfortunately, I’ve already had 2 miscarriages. This year alone, I’ve had 4 surgeries to figure out the best way to get pregnant. Our gynecologist eventually advised us to start with IUI.

We’ve already done 2 rounds of IUI, and I had a lot of side effects from Clomid and Pregnyl. I wanted to do another IUI round this time, but my partner wasn’t really keen on it. Since we’re going on vacation, we weren’t sure if we could finish the treatment before leaving. The hospital advised us to handle this round on our own because they wanted to play it safe with the timing of the treatment and our vacation.

Now I know I’m probably on my fertile days this week. I don’t test with ovulation kits because it drives me crazy. My partner is very casual about it when I bring up that we should try to make it happen. He thinks I’m nagging and says it’ll happen when it happens. He doesn’t want me to hope for positive news... His reactions have left me completely confused.

I asked him if he still wants to continue with this or not, but I don’t get an answer from him. Because of this, I’m starting to doubt whether I should continue or not. Did I go through all those surgeries and tests for nothing??

Replies

  1. Natasja started this #2

    I forgot to mention that I'm already 37 and we're having our first baby...

  2. floydi #3

    Little anonymous one, I fear no one can think for you in this situation. It's your choice, and it doesn't help that men are strange creatures, hehe. Emotionally, they express themselves very differently or not at all. It's a heavy question, of course, but how are you feeling right now?

  3. Natasja started this #4

    I'm struggling with it. I feel torn. I've been at this for 14 years in total. And I want to do it before the end of this year. Otherwise, I feel like I'm too old. The worst part is that I can't talk to my partner about it.

  4. ... #5

    I wonder why your friend doesn't give a clear answer to your question and is so nonchalant about it. Although men are naturally different in their reactions than we women

  5. Anonymous Guest #6

    If you've indeed been dealing with this for years, I can totally imagine that your friend has maybe just accepted that he'll remain fatherless. And he might be okay with that. Maybe you should rephrase the question.

  6. skybles #7

    Hi,
    14 years is quite a long time, isn't it? Why did they only start with IUI now? And why 4 surgeries? What did they do to you?

    It's tough dealing with the hormones. Maybe you can ask if you can try something else. Gonal-F or Menopur are also sometimes used for IUI. How have your ovulation and such been otherwise? If everything else was going well, why stop after just 2 IUI treatments?

  7. Natasja started this #8

    First 10 years with my ex. Now over 4 years with my current partner.
    They removed a septum in my uterus and adhesions. It took a total of 4 surgeries to do that.
    We decided together to go ahead anyway...

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