Forum Nice chat

Mother vs mother-in-law

5 replies

Roosje
Hey everyone! To make a very long story short... I'm home with the baby but my mother-in-law isn't working (she's bored, has no hobbies) and wants to visit constantly. I was wondering how often you guys let your mother-in-law visit at home?
I actually find it nicer that my own mom comes by, she doesn't push herself on us. Is it okay if I spend more time with the baby and my mom than with my mother-in-law? Of course I don't want to deny her her grandson.. Our relationship is just not good.
We see my in-laws at least 1x, sometimes 3x per week.
Thanks in advance for your replies.

Replies

  1. MamaN #2

    Hi Mommy,

    I don't think it's weird at all that you'd rather go out with your own mom than your mother-in-law. I only ever have my mother-in-law over when my husband is there too; I don't feel like going to her place or having her come over if he's not around. After all, she's my husband's mom, not mine. I also don't have a great bond with my mother-in-law, which naturally plays a role. I'd rather not see her at all than see her... Well, she is my husband's mother. I think my husband is responsible for building the bond between his mom and our kids. If she comes over, fine, I'll be there if I'm there, and I'll teach our kids that she's grandma, and maybe go visit her occasionally, but that's about it.

  2. Hato #3

    It's up to you to decide when and how often your MIL can come by by letting her know you're home when she calls to ask if she can drop by. I totally get her if she doesn't have much to do and misses/wants to see her grandchild, but everything has its time, right I wouldn't like it either if my MIL came over every day or every two days. But on the other hand, if she's very polite and there are no problems or arguments/discussions when she's with you, or if she's not too meddlesome about the upbringing of MY child, then I wouldn't mind too much if she came over a few times (2-3) a week. My MIL is a sweetheart, but I'm still glad she lives abroad. And by the way, if I were you, I wouldn't feel guilty about spending a lot of time with your own mom. After all, she gave birth to you and raised you. It goes without saying that you'd want to spend more time with her than with your MIL.

  3. Roosje started this #4

    Ok, that's already a bit reassuring Thanks for your answers.

  4. nata #5

    I have a good relationship with my mother-in-law and see her every day, more often than my own mom, who I see once every two weeks or so.
    When the baby is born, she would be welcome to visit every day, and I have no problem with that. But if you do have a problem with it, you should just say that you'd rather not. But hey, if she's not causing any trouble or anything, I'd be like, let her enjoy visiting her grandchild.

  5. Roosje started this #6

    Thanks Nata for your reply.

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