Babbles
Smoking and baby
Mama87
Hi ladies,
I want to share my story with you all. (No need to judge)
I have a son who is 4.5 months old. Everything is going well, thank goodness.
I've been having constant arguments with my partner for the past few weeks. It's driving me crazy. I'll explain the situation.
My mom comes over twice a week to babysit. She smokes. The evening before the little one comes and the day he's there, she DOES NOT smoke inside the house. She always opens the windows, cleans up, and makes sure it smells fresh inside.
Now he wants her to smoke outside 7 days a week, otherwise, she won't get to see the little one anymore.
I know that it smells fresh when my little one is there and that she doesn't smoke where he is. But here's the thing:
We also smoke ourselves and do it outside. I know that it lingers on our clothes and hair, so I feel like he's exposed to our smoke more than to my mom's inside the house. I always take a sip of water and chew some gum after smoking, and I don't pick him up right away, but my partner kisses him immediately after his cigarette. My partner vapes every day and smokes too, and believe me, I've been trying for a long time to get him to stop. The smell that lingers on him is worse than what happens in my mom's house.
You might think she's a bad mother. My partner makes me doubt that too. But is it really so wrong that I say he should just keep coming to my mom's place? Again, my mom DOES NOT smoke in the presence of my baby!!
If I want to talk about it, everyone is bad except for him, so there's no point in talking to him because he's the "perfect" dad and doesn't need anyone.
Thank you for your time, and if anyone has a similar situation, I'd love to hear about it.
I want to share my story with you all. (No need to judge)
I have a son who is 4.5 months old. Everything is going well, thank goodness.
I've been having constant arguments with my partner for the past few weeks. It's driving me crazy. I'll explain the situation.
My mom comes over twice a week to babysit. She smokes. The evening before the little one comes and the day he's there, she DOES NOT smoke inside the house. She always opens the windows, cleans up, and makes sure it smells fresh inside.
Now he wants her to smoke outside 7 days a week, otherwise, she won't get to see the little one anymore.
I know that it smells fresh when my little one is there and that she doesn't smoke where he is. But here's the thing:
We also smoke ourselves and do it outside. I know that it lingers on our clothes and hair, so I feel like he's exposed to our smoke more than to my mom's inside the house. I always take a sip of water and chew some gum after smoking, and I don't pick him up right away, but my partner kisses him immediately after his cigarette. My partner vapes every day and smokes too, and believe me, I've been trying for a long time to get him to stop. The smell that lingers on him is worse than what happens in my mom's house.
You might think she's a bad mother. My partner makes me doubt that too. But is it really so wrong that I say he should just keep coming to my mom's place? Again, my mom DOES NOT smoke in the presence of my baby!!
If I want to talk about it, everyone is bad except for him, so there's no point in talking to him because he's the "perfect" dad and doesn't need anyone.
Thank you for your time, and if anyone has a similar situation, I'd love to hear about it.
Replies
-
Jackie #2
Hey, what a tough situation.
I personally think he shouldn't expect your mom to act differently in her own house.
What you do—drinking and chewing gum after smoking—I've done that myself and always smoked outside too. And maybe it's a weird question, but are you sure you want to stay with your partner? It sounds like you've had enough. Personally, I wouldn't let someone who just smoked around my kid.
But ultimately, you have to do what you think is best for your child. -
Mama87 started this #3
Hi Jackie,
That's something I've been wondering since my little one was born. There are weeks when I'm truly happy with him again, and then there are days when I just wish he'd pack his stuff and leave. You don't just throw away 10 years, and you're right about the smoking—I'm always glad that, most of the time, the little one is in bed during the day. I make sure he's not left alone with him during the day. -
Jackie #4
10 years is also quite a lot, you're right. Maybe you should try talking to him with someone he trusts, who he might actually listen to.
Anyway, good luck!
Add your reply
Share what helped you, or ask a question.
Sign in to join the conversation.
Continue with GoogleTakes a moment. You’ll come straight back here to reply.