unfair maternity leave

 

Phew!!! After 39 weeks of pregnancy, I finally have my last day of work today!

I have to say I’m quite “proud of myself for working until I drop after 50 years,” because, let’s be honest, not everyone can do that. It was tough, very tough, really not in line with modern times. All professors agree that a minimum of 4 weeks of prenatal rest is the ideal period for mother and child.

But could I do otherwise?

No – not if I wanted to give my baby the best start possible.

Because …. Mothers normally get 15 weeks of maternity leave. Yesss, you can take max. 6 weeks before the birth….. but then you still have 9 weeks left with your baby – I repeat, 9 – (and you have to request them properly because actually there are only 8). How INHUMAN is that? After 8 or 9 weeks (yes, you read that right!) you have to hand over your newborn, without any time to build a bond, let alone get to know each other and adjust to the new situation.

Countries like Poland, which are not always a shining example, offer 6 months at 100% pay or 12 months at 50% pay. In Germany/Austria, mothers stay home until the kids go to school at 2.5 years old. – I’m not saying it needs to be that long, personally I’m not a stay-at-home mom type.

Aside from the fact that it’s generally too short and that it was sometimes very tough, what bothered me most was the incredible unfairness of the Belgian system. You’d think that ALL mothers are equal before the law and thus ALL “only have 15 weeks,” but nothing could be further from the truth.

I’m unlucky enough to work in a well-paid, but unfortunately, unfriendly-to-women, bottleneck profession (during my first pregnancy I worked as a buyer in the metal industry, and now, 6 years later, during my 2nd pregnancy as an SAP consultant in the IT world).

I have many friends in female-friendly sectors who are removed from work due to risks from 3 months of pregnancy (or even earlier). I fully understand that. Fortunately, they then have more than 8 weeks of postnatal rest, because again, that would truly be inhumane. They have agreements in their sector allowing them to take (partially paid) breastfeeding leave and other legal frameworks to extend their maternity leave. In practice, this means my pregnant friends have around 50 weeks of maternity leave (a good 6 months before and a good 6 months after the birth). I’m happy for them, but it does sting a bit that I have to go back to work after barely 15 weeks.

Unfortunately, I can’t enjoy breastfeeding leave because there are no agreements within my sector. I would fall completely without income, and I don’t even have the “right” to it… I could try to ask nicely…

Which minister ever decided that I (15 vs +/- 50 weeks) should be 70% less of a brand-new mom? Which minister ever decided that I “only have the right” to about 30% of what others have? I’m not asking for much, and I don’t expect much here either, just that people realize that any form of “equality” or “fairness” in Belgium has been non-existent since the cradle.

Within 15 weeks, my child will be at the doorstep of a (fortunately fantastic) daycare mom, while my friend’s child can still lie in her arms for at least 10 more weeks….

I pay just as much (with my “well-paid job” even more taxes), but my rights as a mother…..  

Now I’m going to enjoy my one week of prenatal rest, if I’m allowed to, because if my baby comes earlier, I’ll lose that too… and I’ll only have 14 weeks of postnatal rest. And why? Because neither I nor my doctors are clairvoyant… yes, you have to stay home 1 week before the actual due date – not the estimated date - (and unfortunately, no one can predict that), so they think it’s fair to “take away” that week if the birth happens earlier.

Congratulations to the best leaders, whole books have been written on this topic, but maybe, very very maybe, the words of someone with firsthand experience will touch someone’s heart to think deeply about this.

In France, they have the motto Liberté, égalité, fraternité – in Belgium, this is a farce! à la tête du client seems more applicable here.

 

Working moms: feel free to share!