After 8 months, still not pregnant

Charly, it’s tough, isn’t it? Especially when it seems like it’s all so easy for others. For me/us, it took over a year (and now we’re hoping things keep going well). I actually talked about this with a friend two months ago who also really wanted to get pregnant (with her first one it happened right away, but this time it took longer). She found it frustrating too.

Part of what I did, which definitely didn’t help, was putting my life on hold because I wanted to get pregnant. So, for example, not booking that faraway vacation to a country with higher infection risks, because what if you suddenly turn out to be pregnant in three months? (This time, though, we actually booked that long trip because we thought “now’s the time, it could still happen.”) I also skipped a few sports competitions because the training would be intense and last a few months, and I couldn’t train at half strength while having the idea that I could get pregnant “any moment.” I’d do things differently next time. From the moment I started making plans for six months down the line, I could let go of the pressure to get pregnant a bit more, and suddenly I was pregnant. I’m not saying this is THE answer, but maybe it helps. Keep living your life and enjoy everything you can do now that you won’t be able to do anymore with a little bundle of joy. And plans can always be adjusted; once you’re pregnant, you’ll find a solution for everything.

And let your heart out every now and then. I had one friend who knew, and one colleague (because there are certain things I can’t do at work when I’m pregnant, and I was worried about that). It helped just to chat with them for a bit.

(Last tip: read up on what you shouldn’t eat when pregnant and eat whatever you want in a roundabout way. I’m craving sushi, smoked salmon, toasts with salami… and a glass of wine at Christmas would be nice too )

Good morning Charly, I understand how you feel. I've been at it for 6 months. Not a long time, but it's always a downer when I get my period. Are you using ovulation tests?

I totally get it. We're starting round 7 now. At first, I thought I wouldn't let it get to me too much and that whatever comes, comes. But this turns out to be much harder than I thought. Every month feels like a real letdown. Especially when I know that my egg is due next week, because then I already know beforehand that it won't happen. At work, there's a colleague who's also trying to get pregnant, so we can support each other.

Hi everyone,

I stopped taking the pill at the end of May 2016 because we were both ready for a (second) baby.
My previous pregnancy came completely out of the blue (I was just taking the pill), so we expected it might happen quickly the second time around, but now (over 7 months later) still nothing, unfortunately!

So relatable reading this back. I had my hormone IUD removed in December 2015 and consciously decided not to plan for the first few months because we wanted to just let nature take its course.
Of course, after a while (4 months later) we started tracking our cycles properly because we were both curious. My cycles varied between 23 and 36 days, so it was pretty tricky to plan. I started counting days, then tracked my temperature for a month (which was sometimes forgotten because you have to take it before getting out of bed). With this method I could clearly determine my ovulation, so I did my thing around those days.. unfortunately resulting in multiple negative tests. You secretly hope to see that second line appear! But I got discouraged by my period that took a day (or more) to show up.
Trying to conceive started occupying my thoughts more and more, sometimes pleasantly (am I now pregnant at work? Daydreaming about what will come..) but sometimes less pleasantly because there was an unconscious element of planning and trying that we would rather just let happen spontaneously.
At one point I did a mucus check (cervical mucus) and coincidentally that day there were very clear egg-white-like thin strands! Naturally, I did my thing with pleasure and indeed, after 36 days and still no period, I took a test (just to be sure), positive!! It took a while for it to really sink in since I had prepared myself for a negative test... now in week 10 and everything is going well!
I also heard a lot from friends/acquaintances about: it happened right away, but also contradictory reports that it didn't work after 2 years..
My tip for you (which is of course easier said than done): try not to focus too much on it, enjoy the moments together as a couple and keep in mind that there are many other couples experiencing exactly the same thing. Keep enjoying life and try out multiple methods to determine your fertile days. Let yourself dream and make sure you stay relaxed..

Hey everyone,

This is so relatable! We've been at it for 6 months now too, even though this is our 3rd child. Still, I hate how long it takes and the disappointment every time you get your period back. But don't lose hope! xp

Hey Charly, it took 8 months for us, but every body is different, and it's very normal until a year. Don't worry too much about it and try to enjoy each other too. Constantly thinking about it isn't so good either, even though it's quite difficult! Our gynecologist gave us the tip: one day on, one day off. After 7 months, the doctor said maybe you should take a month off from counting every day and just do it when you feel like it. And sure enough! I'm already 28 weeks pregnant! Good luck!