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Trying to get pregnant is becoming an obsession.

14 replies

AnonymousGuest ·
I totally relate to constantly being busy with this. I was too before it finally worked out. But I was busy for a bit longer than you, namely 4 years. Try to really let it go, even though 6 months doesn't feel like long enough. Go do fun things with your husband. Try to have sex on your fertile days but don't make it a chore. Sex should remain fun, otherwise your relationship will also come under pressure.

Replies

  1. JojoB #2

    Hi! I totally get it. I had to wait a year and a half for my first pregnancy. In the end, it worked out with the help of the hospital. The second one happened right away, but the third one took its time again. I already had an appointment scheduled at the hospital. So I started trying on my own with ovulation tests and realized we were doing it at the wrong times... So just before the hospital appointment, I tested positive.

    It's really important that you and your partner are on the same page. Like, when you're fertile, he shouldn't suddenly lose interest... Maybe you can at least make some arrangements about that? Besides, it's really about being patient. Stay healthy and keep hoping. Good luck with it!

  2. D. #3

    Yeah, I’m really trying to let it go. It became a real obligation at some point, but after lots of tears and talking, we both feel like we don’t want it to be a must anymore. These past few days have been lovely—enjoying each other without feeling like we had to. Luckily, I’ve got long days at work over the next two weeks, and the holidays are coming up, which hopefully will provide some distraction. Around New Year’s Eve, I’ll be on leave. How did you all keep yourselves distracted? I can imagine it gets pretty tough at some point.

  3. JojoB #4

    That’s definitely true at a certain point. Especially for me. I guess that’s just how women are. I did seek a lot of distraction back then—through work, doing fun things with my partner, or hanging out with friends. But once that fertile window had passed, I still found myself focusing on every little physical change. I really thought I was pregnant every single time. And yet... when I was actually pregnant, those physical changes were so much more obvious than in the months leading up to it. It’s just hard to stay relaxed about it all.

  4. JojoB #5

    Hard to describe those early pregnancy symptoms well... I suddenly had really dry hands that were flaking all over. My nipples changed. A certain heaviness... But it was also a feeling inside that I hadn't had in the previous weeks.
    Yeah, and now indeed the final stretch. 37 weeks now, so it can come anytime. We're expecting a girl! ????

  5. D. #6

    Aaah how nice, girl! How are you feeling otherwise? Would you like another little one after this? This is your 3rd if I read correctly, right?

  6. JojoB #7

    Hahaha... I don't rule anything out... but I'm already 36... and with my friend's daughter, we're already 4 kids every other week.
    Let's just get this one into the world first.
    How are your little ailments today? Anything different than usual?

  7. D. #8

    Well, it's a cozy bunch, right? I don't have any discomfort anywhere. And I'm trying not to focus too much on symptoms. I've had it twice where I felt everything and really thought it was a hit. The blow when it turns out it wasn't a hit is just so big. This month I'm very busy at work and we're away for the holidays. There are also birthdays and such in between, so that's really good for me. That's how I'm trying to wrap up this year. Of course, I do have moments when I think about it. Tonight I'm alone. Just got back from work and going to the bathroom, my slip is wet and there's white discharge. Well, that could be anything, so don't get your hopes up.

  8. Raisa #9

    Hi D. I can totally relate to how much you're thinking about this, just like me. I use ovulation tests and have told my husband that this means we might need to plan for "having fun" once or twice, and then we can just relax and do whatever we want around that time.
    My husband also often says... it'll happen, take it easy. I'm mostly focused on it when ovulation hasn't happened yet. After that, it's 14 days of waiting, and you can't influence it anymore.

  9. JojoB #10

    What I found really tough during that waiting period was whether or not to have, say, a glass of wine. Not that I'm some kind of alcoholic or anything... but at parties or birthdays, I'd often find myself in a bit of a pickle. Especially since others didn't know we were trying. Luckily, I always managed to arrange it so I was the designated driver. But last Christmas, for example, I was also on the waiting bench and ended up having a few glasses of wine anyway, which I felt super guilty about later. Luckily, I got my period then! Do you guys experience that now too?

  10. Raisa #11

    So relatable, Joltjeb! I’d rather not drink and sometimes even doubt during the two-week wait whether I want to eat, for example, carpaccio

  11. JojoB #12

    Hahaha, I had that too! I’d think ahead... what if I turned out to be pregnant... Would I feel guilty afterwards? As soon as the answer was yes, I didn’t do it. We’ve been waiting a long time for this pregnancy, so in that regard, I’ve already given up a lot of things.

  12. D. #13

    Oooohhh jaaa I feel that so much too! I had cappuccino last week and we’re going to have it at Christmas while I’m sitting on the waiting bench!! I try to be good every time, but if I can’t resist, I drink 2 or 3 glasses of wine and then I stop! Haha!

  13. Raisa #14

    But on the other hand, if you don’t know, other women just eat normally and sometimes even drink wine. So I’m aware of it, but sometimes I just go for what I’m craving.

  14. D. #15

    Yeah, that's why, you got it right too.

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