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Guys?

19 replies

Marc
Hi,

I searched for a forum about becoming new parents but only came across women writing here! The site describes itself as being for people who are or want to become parents!

No interest in men's perspectives on this?

Marc!

Replies

  1. Anonymous Guest #2

    There are some men on the forum, but indeed, there aren't many. I don't know if that's due to the site or the men. My husband, for example, never visits these kinds of sites simply because he's not interested. If he wants to know something about the baby, he just asks me.

  2. Marc started this #3

    Thanks for your reply! Of course, I’ll ask her too! But I also like knowing things myself or having answers ready for her! You don’t talk about this kind of stuff with guys at the bar, so it’s nice to have a forum like this!

  3. Vlinder87 #4

    Hey Marc!
    You're the first guy I've come across. I think that's super!!
    My boyfriend doesn't say or ask much. If something's up, I'll just tell him. If it were up to him, he'd skip the whole 9 months. I don't really like the hormones
    It's nice that you're more into it!
    Keep chatting with the ladies!! And if I may congratulate you, CONGRATULATIONS on the pregnancy!

  4. Marc started this #5

    Haha, so sweet of your butterfly! She was worried about bleeding, and before you know it, you're here!

    How's your story going, and do you think it's a shame that he doesn't get involved as much? Thanks for the congratulations!!

  5. Vlinder87 #6

    I'm 29 and my partner is 30. We have a 14-month-old son and now I'm pregnant with our second. It's all quite exciting again. My partner is too. We had two miscarriages for our son, so he's a bit hesitant about it. I completely understand, but sometimes I wish he'd show a bit more. He gets that too.
    Had an ultrasound yesterday and everything is fine!
    Oh, bleeding is not fun!!! How are you doing now?
    What's your story?

  6. Anonymous Guest #7

    I wish my husband would do more. I mean, do what you do: have him take the initiative to learn about what’s normal during pregnancy and what’s normal for our little one now that she’s born. Sometimes he makes comments that are completely unfounded, and then I have to explain how things really work. During my pregnancy, he wouldn’t let me do anything—he was very sweet, but way overprotective. I’m not made of porcelain! Now he gets anxious when she cries for a bit longer and immediately worries we have a “crying baby,” even though the crying is really not that bad. But well, as brand-new parents, everything is still exciting and new.

  7. Vlinder87 #8

    Can imagine you weren't exactly dying to get a pack of condoms haha
    Glad it's going well now! When is the due date?
    What I'd like more of? Maybe a bit more understanding, or something? Like if I have a day where I'm really tired and feeling down and don't get much done, maybe a bit more understanding? Maybe I'm asking for too much .
    14 months is indeed fast. It took 9 months for me to get pregnant with our son and we didn't dare hope to hit it on the first try. Due date July 14th and our son's birthday is September 29th, he'll be 2 then.

  8. Marc started this #9

    Does that feel a bit like he’s not really involved? I mainly let her decide what she thinks she can handle and encourage her to take action. But she doesn’t really need me to push her—she’s already doing her own thing! I came here mainly because I couldn’t reassure myself about the bleeding. But do you share those things with him, or do you also keep quiet?
    And you, how quickly did it happen for the second one?

  9. Vlinder87 #10

    I do share things, indeed. It'll be different once we're past the first trimester. He's super sweet and does his best. I really hit the jackpot with him.
    Our second baby was on board right away in the first month.

    You can always call your midwife if you're worried! I think the first bleeding, implantation bleeding, and the second could indeed be due to sex. Everything is much more blood-rich now, and a small blood vessel can burst quickly. As long as there are no cramps and no heavy bright red bleeding, there's nothing to worry about.

  10. Vuurdraak #11

    Amai, a man with so much interest... he deserves at least a round of applause - I wish mine was a bit more interested and would look things up and stuff, but it doesn't seem to interest him much

  11. Marc started this #12

    Hahaha, no need for applause! I’m partly to blame anyway, If she hadn’t lost blood, I probably wouldn’t have come here either! And now I find it quite interesting and nice to be able to answer her questions!

    Butterfly; you’re pregnant, so overall you’re not asking too much! We don’t have to do anything else, so if we can help out a bit now, that’s great! And I think it’s really special that something of ours is growing in her belly! So I’d say take advantage of it too and rest well! It’s good for the little one, as far as I know!

    And no, condoms are really not enjoyable for men at all—that was the only tricky part of this plan! Is it less of an issue for women?

  12. Vlinder87 #13

    For women, that's not so nice either. That's my personal opinion.
    How is it for the man as a "bystander"? Seems not easy all the time. The woman with those lovely pregnancy hormones...
    I sometimes say: otherwise you carry it! Including the hormones.

  13. Marc started this #14

    Hahaha! How is it being a spectator, good question! It's still quite new for us, so I find it hard to answer yet. Maybe you feel a bit jealous? Like; she feels everything and quickly builds a bond, while for me it's not much different from a few weeks ago! And I naturally have to take more care of her, arrange things... makes sense?

  14. Vlinder87 #15

    Hahaha, logical!!!

  15. Marc started this #16

    By the way, I didn't know that condoms also make it less pleasurable for women. What's the difference there then? I actually only heard that she found it took much longer! Sometimes that's not so nice either...

    Vlinder, was getting pregnant as easy for you with both as it was for me?

  16. Vlinder87 #17

    That's right. You feel less.
    It actually went pretty fast! It took 9 months for me to get pregnant with our son. Including 2 miscarriages.
    With this baby, I got pregnant right away. Since July, the planning was out of the way, so I had been without any mess in my body for a few months already.
    They say the second time goes faster because your body knows how to get pregnant. I don't fully believe that.
    And with you guys?

  17. Marc started this #18

    Hi Vlinder, shall we schedule it? Something else came up, haha!
    She stopped taking the pill around springtime, then wanted to use condoms for a month so she could have her first period without the pill. What a mess those hormones are, I can really tell the difference now that she's off them! What did you use and did you notice a big difference? After that month, they just started trying and it took from May/June until last month, with no success. That's pretty frustrating, especially since she could feel her ovulation. The last month, I got strict instructions and it worked out, super nice! Now she probably thinks she knows the trick to getting pregnant, but I think it's pure luck (and of course, some skill on my part ).

  18. Vlinder87 #19

    Hahaha yeah, I had an Implanon. Hormone implant in my arm. It has fewer hormones than the pill. It's and remains a mess and I've changed too.
    I also felt my ovulation but then it still has to implant properly.
    It is indeed lucky. Good sperm is indeed not entirely unimportant
    My boyfriend also had to eat tomatoes and eggs because of me with the first one. Haha searched the whole internet for tips to get pregnant haha.

  19. Marc started this #20

    Too bad butterfly,

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