Looking for a midwife who pays attention to the mom-to-be

I’m trying to conceive, but I’m also really scared of getting pregnant and giving birth. I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but all I hear and see are horror stories or just silence among my friends, which isn’t exactly reassuring. On top of that, I’ve been looking for a good gynecologist for a while now (always keeping in mind: who do I want to guide me through a possible pregnancy?), and my last consultation with a doctor wasn’t very pleasant either. Personally, I felt the conversation went like this: “This is how I want to give birth, and I’m not going to negotiate about it. I’ll make sure the baby comes out healthy, and how you look afterward is completely secondary.” I had a list of questions ready, and the doctor said it was way too early to be thinking about that, that I should just start trying first (and I was like: hello! I want to be prepared!). I know the most important thing is that the baby is healthy, but am I really too arrogant to expect a doctor to care about how the mom-to-be feels after giving birth? Anyway, maybe I’m just looking in the wrong place, because I recently heard someone talk about being supported by a midwife. Does anyone have experience with the difference in care between a gynecologist and a midwife, or maybe know a doctor/midwife pair in the Antwerp area who also pays attention to your body and self-worth?