Nice chat
Sometimes just time for yourself?
IngeGuest ·
Good morning,
Since I feel a bit guilty and might get a lot of criticism, I was curious what you all think about this:
I gave birth to a beautiful daughter almost 8 weeks ago. The whole pregnancy was uncertain due to various medical issues, so I couldn't fully enjoy it. To top it all off, the birth was induced and was extremely hard for me, but also for our daughter who barely made it.
I was quite battered and after a few days we were allowed to go home. I was full of adrenaline and kept going, doing things like going to the store and wanting to do everything myself. But recovery was difficult and there were many complaints. I also had to get used to my new role as a mom. Everything was different suddenly, but we are so proud and happy with our girl who is really so sweet and easy.
But I notice that I'm tired and don't have much time to recharge. Because of this, I can sometimes have little patience for the little girl, and I dropped her off at my parents' place this morning. My mom really wanted to babysit and was glowing, and our little girl also loves being there.
This way I can do things around the house and take a nap this afternoon, but it still feels like I'm 'dumping' my little one, to put it briefly.
Are there more people who also sometimes quickly put their little one somewhere for a few hours to just get back to themselves? Don't misunderstand me, I'm so happy with our baby, but being a mom is also just plain hard. Her smile makes everything better, but now I'm home with mixed feelings.
What do you all think about this? And please be honest!
Since I feel a bit guilty and might get a lot of criticism, I was curious what you all think about this:
I gave birth to a beautiful daughter almost 8 weeks ago. The whole pregnancy was uncertain due to various medical issues, so I couldn't fully enjoy it. To top it all off, the birth was induced and was extremely hard for me, but also for our daughter who barely made it.
I was quite battered and after a few days we were allowed to go home. I was full of adrenaline and kept going, doing things like going to the store and wanting to do everything myself. But recovery was difficult and there were many complaints. I also had to get used to my new role as a mom. Everything was different suddenly, but we are so proud and happy with our girl who is really so sweet and easy.
But I notice that I'm tired and don't have much time to recharge. Because of this, I can sometimes have little patience for the little girl, and I dropped her off at my parents' place this morning. My mom really wanted to babysit and was glowing, and our little girl also loves being there.
This way I can do things around the house and take a nap this afternoon, but it still feels like I'm 'dumping' my little one, to put it briefly.
Are there more people who also sometimes quickly put their little one somewhere for a few hours to just get back to themselves? Don't misunderstand me, I'm so happy with our baby, but being a mom is also just plain hard. Her smile makes everything better, but now I'm home with mixed feelings.
What do you all think about this? And please be honest!
Replies
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Poesh #2
If it works for you, just do it. You really don't need to care what others think.
I know several women who do this, even when they work. They might work 3/5 but have their kid in childcare 4/5 days so they can get everything sorted at home.
There are women who never leave their kids during the day, but sometimes send them to a sleepover at night..
So, if you feel a need for that and it makes you feel good, just do it.
I can't do it myself. I just can't bring myself to do it. I work 4/5 days, and my daughter is only in childcare when I work.. But that's really each to their own! -
Justme #3
Don't feel guilty! I think it's actually great what you're doing. This way you can recharge a bit and will have more energy again, so you can enjoy your girl more. And grandma and granddaughter will build a bond too. No one will be worse off, right? -
Amy #4
Right after giving birth, I didn’t know about it, but I haven’t had such a tough pregnancy and birth as you have. I’m now 35 weeks pregnant with my second and have had more issues and ailments during this pregnancy, plus a toddler running around. Although I’ve been on sick leave for 4 months, my son starts going to my mom on Monday and has recently started going to the toddler playgroup twice a week. And I love it! It’s nice to recharge, have some time for myself, and get some chores done.
If you also need this right now, just do it and enjoy it without feeling guilty. If you’re feeling good in your own skin, you’ll only be a better mom.
And most grandmas love having uninterrupted time alone with their grandchildren. My mom also watches him when I’m working, and my son absolutely adores his grandparents.
So just go for it and enjoy it. -
Anonymous #5
You don't need to feel guilty. If I had such an opportunity, I'd just take it. Unfortunately, both grandmas of my twins are no longer with us...
You gave birth only 8 weeks ago. It takes time to recover from pregnancy. And that's after such a difficult birth...
I found breastfeeding really hard at first until it got going. I got no sleep because after breastfeeding the 2 babies I still had to pump. I couldn't enjoy them. Luckily, with the help of the lovely maternity nurse, it got easier.
Soon when your baby sleeps through the night, you'll also have more rest and energy during the day. But I'd still ask for help if needed. For example, I ask a friend of mine to walk with the stroller for an hour. Then I do my housework or shopping. There's nothing wrong with that, right?
Moms, motherhood isn't easy. You don't need to feel ashamed. Fortunately, you're not alone.
Good luck!
Sophia
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