Babbles
Sister-in-law
Mama met veel liefde
Hi, I’m Valerie, mom of 4 beautiful kids!
When my sister-in-law became a mom in March 2013 and her daughter came to sleep over after a year, I got a detailed list of how and what I should do for everything, even though I already have 4 kids.
She wrote down in detail how I should wash her baby!!
She said I wasn’t allowed to warm her baby’s bottle in the microwave because, according to her, the vitamins in the milk would be destroyed!
I’ve never heard of milk having vitamins!
Also, when I gave advice if she asked something, it wasn’t right because it’s not in the books!!
Does she see me as a bad mom or am I seeing this wrong?
Then the second point: after her parents’ divorce, she didn’t talk to her dad for 7 years and didn’t talk to her sister for 5 years!
So our bond was super strong and we often got together.
We also often said she should make it up with her dad and sister.
A year after the birth of her first daughter, they made up and everything was fine, and I? I became the fifth wheel on the wagon.
When she announced at the baptism that she was pregnant with her second, she also said that her sister, whom she hadn’t spoken to for 5 years, would be the godmother!
This was a knife in my back!
I was just stunned.
Also because her sister lost her first child to SIDS and hadn’t done much to come or support her sister!
No, her words to us were, 'I wouldn’t be surprised if she did something to her child herself.'
With all those words in my head, I just find it hypocritical that she makes her sister the godmother!
Or am I wrong?
I told her that I was sorry and really disappointed because I really thought we had a good bond!!
She then said, 'I don’t take a godmother or godfather whose partner is already a godmother or godfather to their first.'
According to her, I was frustrated and angry because I couldn’t be the godmother!
I’m still disappointed but it’s their choice, I just find it really ugly that you treated your sister so badly, didn’t talk to her for 5 years, and then a month after reconciling, you make her the godmother!
She is also the godmother of our two boys and her husband is the godfather of our daughter.
So I hoped she would also take me as the godmother of one of her children.
While I was the person you called if something happened or listened if you were troubled with something!
Yes, this hurts!
Or am I seeing everything in black and white?
When my sister-in-law became a mom in March 2013 and her daughter came to sleep over after a year, I got a detailed list of how and what I should do for everything, even though I already have 4 kids.
She wrote down in detail how I should wash her baby!!
She said I wasn’t allowed to warm her baby’s bottle in the microwave because, according to her, the vitamins in the milk would be destroyed!
I’ve never heard of milk having vitamins!
Also, when I gave advice if she asked something, it wasn’t right because it’s not in the books!!
Does she see me as a bad mom or am I seeing this wrong?
Then the second point: after her parents’ divorce, she didn’t talk to her dad for 7 years and didn’t talk to her sister for 5 years!
So our bond was super strong and we often got together.
We also often said she should make it up with her dad and sister.
A year after the birth of her first daughter, they made up and everything was fine, and I? I became the fifth wheel on the wagon.
When she announced at the baptism that she was pregnant with her second, she also said that her sister, whom she hadn’t spoken to for 5 years, would be the godmother!
This was a knife in my back!
I was just stunned.
Also because her sister lost her first child to SIDS and hadn’t done much to come or support her sister!
No, her words to us were, 'I wouldn’t be surprised if she did something to her child herself.'
With all those words in my head, I just find it hypocritical that she makes her sister the godmother!
Or am I wrong?
I told her that I was sorry and really disappointed because I really thought we had a good bond!!
She then said, 'I don’t take a godmother or godfather whose partner is already a godmother or godfather to their first.'
According to her, I was frustrated and angry because I couldn’t be the godmother!
I’m still disappointed but it’s their choice, I just find it really ugly that you treated your sister so badly, didn’t talk to her for 5 years, and then a month after reconciling, you make her the godmother!
She is also the godmother of our two boys and her husband is the godfather of our daughter.
So I hoped she would also take me as the godmother of one of her children.
While I was the person you called if something happened or listened if you were troubled with something!
Yes, this hurts!
Or am I seeing everything in black and white?
Replies
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*Lotus* #2
Hi TinoValerie, that's really tough what you're going through. There's no right or wrong here, just basic decency and values, if you ask me.
Your sister-in-law is someone who drops people fast and is quite the gossip. Anyway, that's beside the point... It's really unpleasant that she's saddling you with all the negativity and then even implying that your other sister-in-law did something to her own child, just to make her feel better.
I wouldn't accept any more stories from her anyway...
She needs to sort this out herself now. Just enjoy your own family and don't get dragged into the negative behavior of your in-laws. I also read the other part about paying money... how crazy can you be to ask for money for that? But that's another topic altogether.
Good luck with everything. -
Anonymous Guest #3
As for the list from your sister-in-law, don't stress too much about it. She's probably just worried about her little sprout and maybe finds it hard to let go. Think of it more as her way of feeling in control rather than an attack on your parenting. There are just more ways to raise kids, and she sticks to her book. Nice for her, not your problem. Try not to see her choices as an attack on you. Maybe her choice for Meeter was also to strengthen the bond with her sister. It's just a title and doesn't determine the final relationship between niece and aunt. -
Mama met veel liefde started this #4
I think she just made up her choice of godmother to soothe her conscience!!
How sad is that!!
She always wants to be the center of attention! And what she’s going through is always the worst, blah blah blah -
Anonymous Guest #5
You have four kids and you have so much fun with them and so much love, they're not worth stressing over! As far as grandma is concerned, if she doesn't want to babysit, she can spoil her other grandchild until the kid gets tired of her! Then you won't be waiting on her anymore! And about that 10€ – doesn't that woman have any shame? You'd expect to offer 12€ before and during childbirth to clear out the house and give it a quick refresh! Really frustrating! -
Anonymous Guest #6
And what a complaining sister-in-law you have! I don't like people who complain unless they're really in a lot of pain! But yeah, you can already figure that out before you get pregnant! -
Anonymous Guest #7
Are you not afraid that they'll read this topic? They'll recognize your photo anyway. -
Mama met veel liefde started this #8
I've changed everything.
But don't get me wrong, they don't do this!
I can handle a lot, but in the long run, it becomes clear!!
I have 4 kids and a business.
Childcare is closed during Christmas, we've already made it clear to them that there's no childcare, but don't think for a second that they offered to come watch the kids!
I never asked for anything, just occasionally an evening so I can do something with my husband!
It just hurts me, the kids are already noticing it!
Like yesterday, we were at the hospital visiting the baby and brought our two oldest boys along.
She was very sweet and gave her 20-month-old granddaughter a big kiss with a big smile.
And then she said, "Boys, stand up straight and give her a kiss too!!"
Everything was always fine until her daughter had a child.
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