Forum Baby wish

Overweight, fairly regular, with or without ovulation

17 replies

Koekoek
Hi everyone,

I've been reading along for a while to calm myself down... but it's just driving me crazy. So now I've pulled myself together and decided to ask my question anyway. Hope you guys can help me out.

My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for almost 8 months now. I had some extra weight, but before we started, I lost 25kg and am now only 5kg above my target weight, so still a bit overweight. But I read everywhere online that losing 10 to 15% of your weight helps with overweight issues, so that part should definitely be sorted.

Now, I have a longer cycle than the average 28 days. Mine are around 33, 36, 32, 34. But I think it's still fairly regular.

What I'm wondering now is whether I'm ovulating. I've been using ovulation tests, but my husband gets so nervous about it that I've stopped. I don't have any signs of being grumpy, food cravings, tension, etc. I've never had those before. The only thing I've noticed is that I usually drink and pee the same amount, but at the end of my cycle, I suddenly pee much less even though I'm drinking the same. Does anyone recognize this?

But I'm wondering if I'm actually ovulating? I was obviously quite overweight and have a longer cycle. Help!

We really, really want a little miracle of our own.

Thanks in advance.
Love, Koekoek

Replies

  1. kruimel #2

    If you normally menstruate, you ovulate.. (Exceptions aside)
    I don't think your previous excess weight has anything to do with it.

    Keep trying.
    Maybe tracking your temperature is an option? Just don't talk too much about it with your husband, keep sex as natural as possible when 'planning' then he won't get nervous either

  2. Koekoek started this #3

    Thanks for the reply, Crumb.
    I’ve thought about temperatures, but since I work rotating shifts in healthcare, it’s not feasible to do it at fixed times under the same conditions.
    I’ve also read online that it’s not reliable due to an irregular rhythm.
    Love,
    Koekoek

  3. kruimel #4

    With changing shifts it'll be tough, indeed, shame!

    But anyway, don't stress about not having ovulation, that won't be the case. If you keep doubting, consult your GP..

    Wishing you lots of success, hopefully it'll happen quickly for you both!

  4. Koekoek started this #5

    Thanks!
    We're keeping busy. My due date is March 6th, so who knows...
    It's just that I get insecure when everyone else feels something, and I feel nothing! No ovulation, no symptoms... except for urination.
    Love, koekoek

  5. My1987 #6

    I never felt my ovulation either. Every time it was a surprise when it happened.
    That's why I used ovulation tests more to know when my period would come than when we should have sex.
    Also had a fairly irregular cycle. In the end, we got lucky and it took 7 months. Last month I lost 5 kilos, not sure if that had anything to do with it. But they say you should expect at least a year for everything to get going.
    And if you're not sure, don't hesitate to go to your GP and explain your situation.

  6. liesje #7

    Hi there, I can imagine you're feeling a bit unsure. That's great that you've lost so much weight! That sounds good! If your cycle hasn't become more regular because of it, I personally don't think it will have any further impact. Just eat well and stay active—that's still the best advice

    As for your ovulation. As was mentioned earlier: if you're menstruating, you've had an ovulation. If you really want to track your egg, I think an ovulation test is really the best option. Can you just keep it a bit separate from your husband/partner? I also tried to keep my husband out of those temperature/testing/mucus tests etc. during our (2-year) journey. Indeed, to keep it more natural for him.
    If you don't want to use tests, you could try feeling your cervix (a bit open or closed, retracted or low) and assessing your discharge. You can find a lot about that on the internet.

    Good luck trying!

  7. liesje #8

    Oh, maybe you're already doing that. But let's say your egg is on cd14, then have sex on cd10, 12, 14, and 16.
    If you suspect your egg is on cd16, then have sex on cd12, 14, 16, and 18.
    If you're not sure, I'd go with cd10-12-14-16-18. But then I hope you've got a high libido I don't have such a high libido, so I always found it quite a chore to follow such a schedule!

  8. DeeDee012 #9

    Hi Koekkoek,

    I've had much more irregular cycles since then. Mine were 72, 53, 39, 73, and I tested positive on day 35 of my last cycle (pregnant), after a positive ovulation test on day 20. It took me a total of 8 months to get pregnant, and I used ovulation tests to find my ovulation and know when I'd get my period. It was always a surprise.

    I started testing during the 73-day cycle, and the ovulation test was positive around day 55. 17 days later I got my period, so there was ovulation even with that long cycle.

    I didn't feel the ovulation either, but I noticed from my discharge that it was coming, and sure enough, I had a positive test. I didn't tell anyone that I had a positive test, and I tested every day at the same time and took them to work. The dipstick tests are especially small. That might be an option for you.

    What I'm trying to say is, not feeling anything doesn't tell you anything about whether you're ovulating or not. Test for yourself if you want to, and keep your husband out of it... men don't really understand these things, and some men find it really unpleasant to have to perform. If you have positive ovulation tests, you can assume you're ovulating, with exceptions. If you're really unsure or it doesn't feel right, just go to your GP.

  9. Koekoek started this #10

    @my1987
    Thanks for your message. I stopped the pill 2 years ago, so everything should have gotten back on track by now. 8 Mondays ago we threw away the condoms. I wanted to be sure that my body had properly adjusted to being off the pill. I read online that if your body isn't fully rid of the pill, there could be issues with pregnancy and the baby. I also started losing weight 2 years ago by eating healthily.. I was already exercising.
    I probably need to stop focusing so much on getting pregnant. I read so much online. I'm even sleeping badly because of it. I'm going crazy with myself
    Love

  10. Koekoek started this #11

    @liesje
    Thanks for your message.
    I try not to involve my husband too much, but he's actually curious himself. But he still finds the whole hassle annoying. Haha men.
    Also, my husband's brother and his wife have been dealing with medical issues for 5 years. My husband really wants a child too, but doesn't want to start before them because he doesn't know how he should explain it. I completely understand that and find something like that difficult myself. At first, my husband didn't want to try to get pregnant at all. But since they might not be able to have a child themselves, we started anyway. It remains difficult.
    You say that if you menstruate, you've had an ovulation, but I read online that this isn't always the case. They call it withdrawal bleeding. But I just don't remember how my period was before I started the pill. If I lose blood now, it's more than 2 full tampons (total.. I change more often) per day. And it lasts 6 or 7 days. But could that be withdrawal bleeding or is it definitely menstruation. Another brain teaser.
    I tried to figure out how things stand by looking at mucus and the cervix, but I can't make sense of it. I've read everything on the internet, but it seems different every day. When I do that, I have 5 ovulations per cycle haha.
    How did you deal with trying to conceive? I'm going crazy... but I can't let go of the desire. It's so present!
    Love

  11. Koekoek started this #12

    @deedee012
    Thank you for your message.
    What a positive story! That’s nice to hear.
    I read a lot online that if you have a long cycle, you’re less likely to ovulate. Especially with more than 45 days.
    I’m not there yet, but it still makes me nervous.
    Thanks for the tips.
    My last period was on February 6th, so we’ll just have to wait and see.
    Love

  12. liesje #13

    Well Koekoek, it was very different for me
    I have PCOS and therefore no ovulation on my own. (Some women still ovulate with PCOS.)
    That's why I didn't menstruate on my own either. I occasionally (in vain) looked for my possible egg by tracking temperatures, checking discharge, feeling the cervix, and also using ovulation tests. But that didn't help me either.
    So I went through a medical treatment.
    First I lost 13-15 kg --> no period
    Then got Clomid (pills) from the doctor --> no period
    Eventually ended up on FSH injections --> follicle growth and period!
    After 1 year of FSH shots (and many checks at the hospital) I got pregnant.

    Because I didn't menstruate on my own, I occasionally got a course of Primolut. That triggers a withdrawal bleed. It always seemed like a period but was ultimately much lighter for me. That was 3, max 4 days of relatively light bleeding.

    With a period I'd really say: try it with ovulation tests. If it doesn't work after a year, you can go to your GP and they might refer you to a gynecologist.

    Hope it works out soon!

  13. Koekoek started this #14

    That's so nice, dear, that it worked out after such a journey!
    I'll keep trying.
    Maybe also try to get some ideas out of my head.. it's tricky though.
    Love

  14. DeeDee012 #15

    Oh, another little story there... but it's nice that the medical world is there, right? Have you had your 20-week ultrasound yet?

    @koekkoek, that uncertainty drove me crazy. Not knowing exactly when my period would start. With my first pregnancy, I was always regular after 30 days. You can imagine I expected that the first time too. What a letdown that first cycle was. That's why I eventually started using ovulation tests. Just so I had more certainty and knew when my fertile window was and when I should expect my period.

    And it's easier said than done to not think about it. It really doesn't work, at least not for me... I actually became calmer with the ovulation tests.

  15. liesje #16

    Yes, luckily we have medical science
    Next week I’m having my 20-week ultrasound, Deedee! Still a bit nerve-wracking!

  16. DeeDee012 #17

    Yes, that’s always a thrilling moment.. but then you’re halfway there already.. lovely! Enjoy it!

  17. Koekoek started this #18

    I get what you mean with that uncertainty about when ovulation happens and when your period starts.
    I'm going to think about getting some ovulation tests that I can use for a month. That way I'll get some overview.
    I'm really going crazy with myself now. Every little thing I feel, I think it's related. Like now I have a bit of sensitive breasts, mostly on the sides. Not that it hurts, but they feel different. My last period was on Feb 6/7. So that's what I'm stressing over. No idea. Probably just putting ideas in my head again.

    Wow Liesje 20 weeks! Halfway. I think it remains special and exciting.

    Love

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