pregnant and alone

In the meantime, I’m 23 weeks pregnant, but my boyfriend left me at 18 weeks. He really wanted a child and kept pushing for it throughout our 2-year relationship. I have two beautiful boys from a previous relationship and had my doubts. Still, I really wanted to build a family with someone, and my "pink cloud" kept getting closer and closer. Experiencing a pregnancy together in a loving way and watching a baby grow and bloom close by. After two months of no conception, I was already pregnant, and we were both on that pink cloud. But after a while, I felt him drifting away... I didn't understand it at all. Wasn't this what he wanted too? A child, a family. Was he being influenced by someone? What was going on? I found him crying in the kitchen; I had my doubts about the sincerity of his tears. He told me he suspected he might be autistic. His father apparently was too, and he recognized himself in the description. I didn't see the problem and thought in terms of solutions, because for me, the family was the most important thing. For him, not so much; he became more and more convinced that he couldn't do it. I was angry and sad because he didn't even give it a chance. After a lot of arguing, he moved back to his parents. I'm still convinced he's being negatively influenced somewhere, because this isn't the man I got to know. The man who wanted a child so badly and always said the family comes first. He says he wants to be a father but can't do the rest. He says he'll support me during the pregnancy by, among other things, doing the grocery shopping. If I need help, I can call him. Hiring household help is nothing compared to the pain he's causing me and the children. My boys and I are now going through a grieving process. Loss of a relationship, loss of the family, and all our future plans have to be thrown out the window all at once. I take care of two children, run a household, and work 30 hours a week. And above all, I'm pregnant and should really be getting extra attention and love right now. I can only cry about what's happening now. I try to accept the situation as it is and be as unangry as possible. Because I want this baby to be born in love, too. I feel so alone, sad, and abandoned. I'd so love to share the pregnancy and parenthood, and in this, I feel alone. I'd so love to carry this in joy, but now I'm carrying sadness for me and my boys. Will it ever get better?