Number of kids, do you and your partner agree?

Hi

I gave birth to a big boy about a good six months ago.
Thanks to my partner, I’m also a plus-mama to our oldest son.
He always had the firm idea that there would only be one child.
The fact that our second son is here is therefore fantastic, of course.

But I have a bigger desire for children.
We talked about this early on in our relationship, of course.
And he was very clear about it. But my heart says something else.
I can’t get past the fact that there wouldn’t be any more children and I don’t know what to do with that.
We’ve talked about it a lot here, argued, shed tears.
Eventually, I was scared to talk about it myself because it made me so sad.
I’ve consciously put this aside for the last year so I could fully enjoy my pregnancy and those first moments with our second son.

Right now, we’re at the point where we’ve agreed to tell each other (in certain situations) why another child would or wouldn’t happen. That’s huge progress.
This works both ways. I also honestly admit when I don’t see it happening. And he honestly says when it is an option for him.

I don’t know where this will lead.
I’m just afraid that if there’s a final no, I’ll be left with a huge void.
I don’t want to force him, and he shouldn’t force me.
But if we don’t cut the knot, I’ll probably end up on the painful side of things.

Are there others who are in or were in such a situation and managed to get through it (yes or no)?
Do you have a much stronger desire for children than your partner, or vice versa?
Let me know.
I’d love to hear other people’s stories to maybe gain more insight myself.
And to be able to cope better with a final yes or no.

Greetings

Mammie-L